Romans 12:1-2 (Message) "So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life...your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life...and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what He wants from you and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you."
My everyday life, when I think of those days when I let the world around me dictate what I was, who I was....ashamed I was then, not proud of who I was, not liking myself very much. You see, I was living for myself, doing my best to keep my head on straight, trying to get through each day without doing too much damage to myself or others, trying to maintain job, home, taking care of my sick husband. Going in circles like I was on a carrousel that the attendant had abandoned and there was no one to stop it. Have you ever been like that? I was so controlling then, and the worse of it, I did not even recognize that I was. I just thought I did the things like I did so they would get done. I struggled so much, never realizing that there was such a better way.
You that have been reading these blogs know that this changed, none too soon, truth be told. I, left alone in the world, so immature in the real ways of the Lord; listening to teaching and preaching and so much of it going over my head as I sat there making mental notes of what needed to be done that week; amazing it was, recalling it all. But then God. My wonderful Lord. My goodness, what a change He has made in me. Never once did He tell me "I told you so" or "You should have listened". Instead all I heard were these gentle proddings. When I would be so tormented by the things going on, I would hear those soft words "Read My Word". I don't even want to tell you for how long I did not pay attention to this beautiful voice speaking to me.
"Read My Word". My Lord speaking to me, gently telling me there was a place that held the key to turn off the carrousel, to stop the turning around and around that was slowly taking my life from me, from Him. But then, alone, no husband, no Chere' BeBe, just me and the Word. I read. I can't tell you what I read, I only know that God was sitting beside me and held me close as I read those words that held life in them. New breath beginning to flow inside of me as I read of His forgiveness, of His unconditional love. Words I had heard all my life, the same words as then, but now restoring my soul. My God held me as I cried out of desperation, out of relief, out of thankfulness.
He began to change me; first teaching me to worship Him. No one knows how God wants to be worshiped better than Himself, and He showed me just how to give of myself to Him, to make my songs from me to only Him; not to please man, but to please Him. Then He began to use me in my work as He never had before. I am sure He would have liked to but, the vessel has to be willing and open. Well, now He had a vessel that He could shape and pour into as He desired. He could use me to transform an ordinary "How are you doing" into "Let me tell you about Someone who wants to give you peace". The Lord gave me a boldness I would not have dreamed possible, a boldness in Him, for Him, for His use. No longer was I drug down by earthly bothers, or by the enemy's lies and snares. I was changed from within, and it wasn't long before it began to shine all over me, the infusion of God could actually be seen on me. I cannot tell you how wonderful it feels to have someone look at you and say that they see Jesus in your eyes. It is a high that nothing else can give you. I am still floating on that. Jesus, my precious Lord, can be seen in my eyes. I would not have taken diamonds in place of that beautiful compliment. You see, that is all I want, my Lord to be seen in me.
I believe I have become deeper, more trustworthy, wiser, and I know content. The Lord has given me insight into His Word, and He spends time with me, oh, yes, He spends time with me. I love my life now. What a life, my Lord, My God, spends time with me, He guides me, He loves me so much. As I worship Him, He fills my heart and soul with His wonderful peace, His joy. His blessings flow into a solid stream from His storehouses to me. I cannot out bless my Lord. I love Him so.
The best in me, what you see now, that best in me, is my Lord. He is the best in me and He has infused Himself into me, so as I think, they are His thoughts, as I speak, they are His words, and as I love, it is with His unconditional, unjudging love. I have not much in monetary means, but what I have, I give freely, the love and knowledge of my Lord, my Savior, Jesus Christ. Given freely to all that I meet. I don't even have to always talk now, as the Spirit of the Lord that surrounds me touches them with His peace, His love. Thank you Father for making me into a vessel You could use.
This 21st day of March, I love and worship my Father in Heaven, as He loves me and daily He is bringing out the best in me.
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