NO TURNING BACK

Isaiah 17:7  "In that day men will look to their Maker and turn their eyes to the Holy One of Israel."

Reflecting back, just this morning, in church at the words of the pastor.  The enemy has been giving me some problems of late because I love my God so much.  Always telling me, no, it is not God you seek, but should be just Jesus.  And I love Jesus with all my heart.  I love the Holy Spirit, I don't know what I would do if I did not have the precious Spirit of the Lord dwelling in me.  Jesus, my Savior, redeemed me from sin with His life; rising up from the depths of hell in victory giving me life eternal.

My understanding of the Word has been, and the Lord has shown me, all are God.  The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, the same Spirit.  As I have studied the Old Testament, my heart has been torn so many times at the rejection that my Father, my God, has suffered from the very children of His heart.  Punishment would be poured out and I know this grieved my God; and then, because of His great love for His children, He once again would restore them as they promised they would worship Him alone.  But time would tell quickly that their hearts would grow cold again towards the Lord as they could not be happy in what He had for them; His plans for their lives.  I know theologians would have more proper terminology for this, but I have never claimed to be a great theologian or writer and what I write is just from my heart, from my understanding of what my Lord has shown me.  If I may use the word, foolish (I have never liked calling people stupid, just don't like the word); but foolish they were.  And I can not throw the stone far from myself, as in my past, I was also so foolish.  But I did not know God, my Father.  I knew about Him, I knew He sent Jesus, His only Son to die for me, redeeming me from the pits of hell, from a life that was so destructive; Jesus gave me life.  And I love Jesus so much.  But I only knew about God. I was raised to be in fear of Him, never truly being shown His love, His unconditional love for me.  But Jesus came and through Him I was made righteous and given the freedom to know the Father, my Lord God.

And now; I know Him. I know the Father and love Him with a passion.  I seek Him.  The enemy has made me feel like I was wrong in this until this morning when the Lord sent me a word through the pastor that the whole process was that He sent the Son to redeem me, the Son gave the Holy Spirit to lead me back to the Father through the Son.  So what I have been feeling, the urgency, the desire to spend time with my Father in Heaven, loving Him so dearly, so sweetly, worshiping Him with all my heart and soul is just what the Father intended to happen; His plan all along.  You cannot imagine what a burden lifted off me this morning when I heard this.  What the Lord had been showing me, what the Spirit had been teaching me, drawing me to the Lord, just where I should be.  It doesn't take away my love for Jesus, my Savior, for I love Him and know He is my Bridegroom, my Beloved.  But my eyes are on my God, the Father of all, Who has had me in His hand from before time began, waiting for me to come to Him, seeking Him in my private worship time, longing to spend time with Him alone, to tell Him how very much I love Him and that I will never turn away from Him.  I will never turn back to where I was before redemption, before I came to truly know Him.

See, I was always afraid, we are taught so much about God, but never encouraged to know Him intimately.  A process, needing to be cleansed by the blood of Jesus, His precious blood that makes us righteous and worthy to be in the presence of the Father.  But once this cleansing takes place, we are seen through that beautiful blood and are acceptable to the Father to love us, to spend time with us and to completely turn our lives around.  The Lord will give you His heart if you ask Him.  He will know if you truly are seeking Him, you see, He knows our hearts.  Nothing is hidden from Him. How quietly He has waited for me, waiting for me to choose Him above all else. 

I have chosen You, my God.  I want nothing, no one but You.  You are my desire, my eyes will never turn from You.  There is no turning back for me as now that I know You, I cannot live without You.  You are everything to me.  I will worship You for all my days;  my lips will praise You; I will witness to Your great love and goodness.  This 23rd day of October, 2011; I am Yours my God, my Father, in my heart and my spirit, seeking You.