Psalm 37:7 "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicket schemes."
Father, I was so happy for this day to be over. What a day. I know that nothing goes to waste and there was something in this day that You will use to teach me lessons that I need to know; something that will bring me to a deeper understanding of what You are doing in me; but Lord, I just do not like being put in these types of situations. Yes, Father, Yes, You know that. Okay, You got me here. You always know what my day will be like. Such a sense of humor Lord, yes, I am smiling too. You knew this would happen today and I was to experience another humbling test. I am not too sure how it looked to You, Lord. I did like the way I reacted to things today.
The work of the Holy Spirit in me is difficult, Lord. I struggle with trying to be just what You wish me to be, what I want to be in You. I stay concerned that I fail You, that I disappoint You....I know I disappoint myself so many times. Oh, Father, I need You so much. How long will I keep struggling instead of just giving it all to You. I don't know why I still attempt to work it out myself....I know I cannot do anything without You. Forgive me....forgive me.
I wait for You, my Lord; I wait for You. Just to be still before You and know that You are here with me. Just to be still and realize, once again, realize that You will never leave me, You are not going to leave me. Your strength as You breath fresh life into me, I am taken back by Your strength. You pour it into my spirit, lifting me up from the depths of the criticism I place on my self, the "how could I's", the "are you capable of this" and all the other doubts that hit my mind today. I am nothing without You Lord. I cannot do the things I need to do without Your constant guidance, sweet Holy Spirit, I need You, I need You.
Thank You, Lord, for Your understanding love; for Your words of encouragement to me, lifting me up to You, making me teachable, keeping me pliable in You. Move me Lord in the direction You would have me go; mold me into the kind of woman that You want me to be. Lord, I pray for my self, for my own ideas and thoughts to be replaced with only Your ideas and thoughts; nothing of me, all of You. I know You will take me and make me what You will if I just get out of the way. I AM my own worse enemy at times. Yes, Father, the human nature is hard to rid one's self of, I can only do this through You, Lord. Only through You.
Your peace, once again, is pouring out over me, Your grace causing me to relax into Your arms, rest in You so I can be restored. Is it only me, Lord, that You have to restore each night. I call You and You never fail to be with me. But I do think about the day, Father,when I will call You to myself, to come and be with me when there is no need for restoring me; I will have become so close to You, I will have become truly one with You, and it will give You rest in me as I rest in You. I love You so.
My Savior, I love You. Words fail at times like this when there is so much I want to say, when I want to express myself to tell You how worthy You are, how much I adore You; words fail. Please look inside my heart, Lord, and see the words that sing out to You there, words of praise, honor, loving worship....all for You.
This 7th day of October, I give my all to You, Lord. I rest in You and am still because I know that You love me.
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