Lamentations 3:22-23 "Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not, They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness."
As I was driving home this evening from work, I was thinking how different today was from yesterday. I had the most horrible day yesterday; it seemed like nothing I did was right, I stayed bound tightly up and was almost overcome by stress. It just was not like me to have such a day. I could not even think about what I was doing I was so overwhelmed. But today, today was such a good day. Work was great, everything went smoothly, things got accomplished and I had such a peace all day.
I know yesterday, the new boss took over and was asking for things, needing things from us, and why it struck me so hard, I had no idea until this evening. As I was coming home and thanking the Lord for my wonderful day and commenting to Him how different it was, how wonderful compared to yesterday, He began to tell me why that was. My Lord God showed me yesterday, brought so much of it back to mind, and yes, there I was trying to accomplish everything in my own strength. I was tired and I just tried to do it all without consulting Him. I worshiped Him all day, but failed to include Him in my thoughts when things began to overwhelm me. I realize now that when things began to overload me, I should have instantly gone to Him and asked for His help, for His intervention, for His guidance. Instead I mowed ahead trying to do it in my own power, my own strength, of which I found I had very little.
So this afternoon, driving home, having yesterday replayed for me, I began to worship and thank my Lord for this revelation, for bringing it to me, showing me my mistakes, what I did wrong. I believe it is to our own good that the Lord takes us back to show us where we went wrong, what we should have done to conquer our fears, our dilemmas, and how to overcome those things. I immediately asked forgiveness of my Lord, and began again to thank Him for this day. He showed me what I did differently today. He said I never once let anything stress me today, as when things came up, I immediately asked for His help. When things went nicely, I immediately thanked Him. And He reminded me of when I woke up this morning that the first thing I did after telling Him how much I loved Him, how much He meant to me, was to ask Him to be with me today, never leaving my side, just to let me remain in His presence all day. So He said, because you invited me, I stayed. I know each day I tell my God how much I love Him and how much He means to me, but I don't know that each morning I ask for His presence all day. I do at times during the day, but this morning it was "stay with me Lord, stay". You can be certain I will make that statement clear and bold each day from now own. I always want my Lord God to be with me, and sometimes I think we fail to ask Him to come, we just assume He will without invitation. He will, knowing our hearts, but He does like to be invited. He likes to have us specially ask Him to stay with us.
I never want You to leave me my Lord. I wish to remain in Your presence day and night. I cannot do this without You, Lord. I need You each moment, more and more. I was telling the Lord how much I loved Him, and He was telling me how much He loved me. I told Him I did not ever think I could love as much as He did, even though each day I love Him more and more, deeper and deeper. But I don't think mortals have the capacity to love so much like our Lord loves us. His love is overpowering, never ending. I can only pray to love as much as He gives me the ability to do so. I can only love in Him, and through Him. I only know that without Him, I would be nothing but an empty shell; I have to have my Lord in my life. He is my life.
I love You so much,, my Lord. You are everything to me. I will spend all my days in worship to only You, seeking ways to please You with my songs of love, with my life. I give my life to worshiping and honoring You, my Lord. This 16th day of August, 2011, I am seeking to go deeper and deeper in You, to totally be one with You, my Beloved Lord.
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