Psalm 62:1,2 "Truly my soul silently waits for God; from Him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, He is my defence, I shall not be greatly moved."
All day long my heart has been longing, earnestly desiring to touch the Lord. Just to let Him know, just to make it known to Him, how much I adore Him, how much I love Him. I know in my heart that He knows but I want to give Him that which I don't seem to be able to find to give, to truly touch Him. To really touch His heart.
In God's Word, there are scriptures telling of how He was touched. The one that is strongest in my spirit is the woman with the issue of blood. She did not want to be seen, she just knew if she touched even His garment, she would be made whole. But you cannot touch the Lord without His knowing. He felt power release from Him, the moment she touched His robe. I think that is it. The tangible feeling of His power flow to me when I touch Him.
In prayer, when I simply let the Holy Spirit take over and pray for me, He knows so much better the right words that will touch the Father, just the words to get His attention. I don't pray for myself much. There are times the enemy really is coming against me in body or spirit and I know to go immediately to the Lord for His help but that is not often as the Lord keeps me in such good health. But other than that, I don't ask for much from the Lord for myself. He has given me so much. My health for one, but my He keeps my finances even, there is not a big overflow anymore but there is always enough for what He wants me to do, wants me to give. I am loved by my friends, and I know that is His doing also. He has shown me how to love through Him, to give that unconditional love out to His children and they respond to me in kind.
But I pray for others. He has called me to be an intercessor for His children, to call upon His Name in prayer for their health, their needs. And I do. And I know that He touches them, healing and supplying their needs. I don't know if it is from my prayers, or the prayers of others, but He touches and He heals.
I pray for my work, for the people that I come in contact with daily. I feel the Lord brings people in our paths just for the sole purpose of touching us, so we will pray to Him for His touch on them. I don't believe in accidental things, or luck. When the Lord is directing your path, there is nothing there that He does not know about or people there that He doesn't have a purpose for. Begin to notice things, take note of how they happen, what is said, you will understand this better. I did not always see this before, but when these same people began to ask me for prayer, someone they are just doing business with, then you know the Lord has a hand in it all. Just let Him use you, it is part of His purpose for you.
That touch. How I long to have His touch on my life. I want to hold His hand, I want to feel that annointing on me constantly, I want to feel that flow from His heart to mine without having to let go. I have almost what feels like a desparation to be in His presence at all times. To be under His annointing. To be honest, I don't always feel His annointing when I sing. Sometimes I think I sound like a blarinig trumpet or something like that. And it is not the Lord's fault, it is mine. You know when you do any kind of ministry for the Lord and your mind and heart is not totally on Him, or when the enemy comes in for a moment to tell you to think on what you are doing, or are people watching you, should you be doing this now...., there is nothing there but self. Pitiful self. And you can feel it. But when I reject that lying spirit, and get my mind back where it should have, then there is the beautiful touch of the Lord again, His annointing touching you. When I sing or pray for someone, when I am totally in line with His Word for this ministry, then I know I touch the Lord. I can feel His power flowing to me. Amazing, awesome feeling of love and power of the Lord.
Can you understand why I so desire to touch the Lord with every moment of my life. Possibly I would be no good to anyone, and I know it is hard for the Lord to use me at those moments as I don't have thought for anyone but Him, but for a while each day, when it is just the two of us, perhaps Lord, it would be possible to take my hand and let that flow connect our hearts. Just for a while. Can't you see the desire and longing in my heart for You, my Lord. I love You so much. You mean everything to me. I can't drive down the road in my car without wanting to be certain that You know how much I love You. Just You.
I adore You, my Jesus. I long for Your return, for the day I will no longer be separated from You. This 18th day of April, 2011, I just want to touch You, Jesus.
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