Psalm 63:1-3 "O God, You are my God; early will I seek You; my soul thirsts for You in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water. So I have looked for You in the sanctuary, to see Your power and Your glory. Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You."
My Lord, how I love to praise Your name. My heart worships You constantly when I am awake, and I know my spirit must be worshiping when I am sleeping as when I wake up, I have words of worship on my lips. That is the beginning of each day my Lord. I worship You to begin my day in You. I want to make sure You know that I am seeking after You, searching for You before my day begins. I want to remind You that I have no other God but You, that there is nothing else on my mind but serving You. You will be told how much I depend on You, that I rely on You for everything my day will hold. You will be asked once again to go before me and clear my pathways of any snares of the enemy. I depend on Your loving kindness to me for each day. I ask You to help me with my work, I want to do my work as unto You, I want to please You as I go through my day and can only do so with Your help.
Before the day gets started, Lord, I want to make sure that I am in Your thoughts, that You know I am here and I need You to feel my love. It seems like forever since I have talked to You, that is how I feel each morning. Even though during the night when I awake, I praise Your name and give You expressions of my love. I feel this is very important, I know it is to me, and I want to spend every waking moment worshiping You, my Jesus.
This week is so hard for me, Lord. It should be hard for everyone that loves You so much. I glory in the resurrection, but before that, before You fulfilled all prophesy about Your rising again, there is the suffering and pain you took because of me, all of us that love You. It tears at my heart when I think that you were beaten, mocked, spit on, humiliated....for my sin. My Lord, how my soul cries out to You in shame and begging forgiveness everytime I read the scriptures telling the next few days. I know my sins have been forgiven, but I can not help but want to undo the things I have done, the things You died for. I feel like Peter now, wanting to undo what had been planned before. And now I need to ask forgiveness again, for I should know that what You did was for the santification of us all. The redeeming of our lives to the Father. There are times I can feel the pain of rejection from some people that don't understand wholly why I worship like I do, why I follow after you. And my feeling rejected doesn't compare to the rejection You felt from the Father when you took our sins, my sins. I was reading again. It hurts so much to read the words written but I read them, I never want to forget what You did for me, what you suffered for me. I want it written on my heart as a reminder of Your love, a love I will probably never completely understand, but am so grateful and blessed to have. That love is just Who You are. I long to understand You more, to get so close to You that I won't know where I leave off and where You begin.
I know to do this I must constantly seek after You, to learn more about You by reading Your Word, yielding myself to the Holy Spirit for His teaching and guiding. He will draw me into the knowledge of You, He will share with me Your wisdom. I know I must love others unconditionally and I always, always must love my Lord above all. I know I will get there, it is that important to me that I am with You. I want to be that spotless, cleansed bride that You will return for.
After my day, Lord Jesus, I want to go to rest but first I want to thank You for being with me the day, I want to praise You for all the things You blessed me with. I want to ask You to search my heart and let me know if there is anything there that I need to get out of me, I will need You to help me here. I don't want to close my eyes with anything that is unpleaseing to You in me. After we do these things, I will lift my voice to You in worship, glorifing You for Who You are, only because of who You are. Worship the Lord of Lords, drawing on You to come, pour Your presence out all around me, all over me, Your presence that is life to me. Then Lord, I know there will be some petitions of prayer to You. So many friends, family, ill and with needs, and I know I will be lifting them up to you, asking You to bless their lives. To be with them, letting them know that You are there on their behalf. And then I will worship until You reach down and draw my eyes shut, breath Your sweet breathe of rest upon my body and I sleep.
Before the day, after the day, starting and finishing in the same place, in worship to You. There is no other way for me to live, for this is what I do, Lord, this is what You made me to do. Worship you from my heart. I will worship You each and every day, night, every breath I take will be of worship to You. I desire only You Lord. This 17th day of April, 2011, before the day and after the same, I 'll be loving You and giving You all my worship.
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