THE SECRET FOLLOWER

John 19:38b  "Now Joseph was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly because he feared the Jews."

It was a blessing that Joseph was a follower of Jesus, as when all Jesus' friends ran away, it was left to the secret followers of our Lord to ask for His body, to bury Him.  Now Jesus knew these men, but they were not close, not family, not dear friends.  I hate to think of my friends deserting me in life, much less in death, but it was so...

But these men were followers of Jesus in secret.  They were afraid to make their relationship with the Lord known.  They were afraid of men.

The Lord showed me how years back I would keep quiet about my relationship with Him.  People would know I went to church, but that was all.  If I was around people whose faith was not known to me, I would be quiet.  Sort of testing the water, not wading in too deep until I knew who I was swimming with.  How foolish...as I look back, how ashamed I am of this time.  Yes, Lord, I know it has been covered by Your precious blood, but the shame still comes to me.

I see in my spirit so many of God's children are still afraid, afraid to confess their love for Him.  So worried about what family, friends, co-workers will say.  Not wanting to offend.  Our Lord was not ashamed of His Father, He is not ashamed of us.  He took all that shame upon Himself and took it to the cross and the grave,  where it was buried for all time.  Once we repent and ask forgiveness, it is buried, dead, not apart of our living spirit anymore.

Still fear exists.  I would like to believe with this day, this day that we remember the death and burial of our Lord, that hearts would draw strength from our Lord and refuse to deny Him, deny their love for Him any longer.  That boldness comes and Jesus is exalted as their King of Kings, their Lord.  But I am also a realist.  I know how the enemy works and I know his lies.  But I will be praying for those who are bound up in fear of man.  I will pray in the spirit daily for those wanting to be free to follow Jesus openly.  No longer in secret.

My Jesus, how I am so thankful for the day You gave me the strength to break the chains of fear and actual shyness, to step out and declare You as my Savior and to begin to openly serve You.  There is no way anyone that comes in contact with me has any doubt of who my Lord is.  Yes, I know some day there may be a time it could be a matter of life or death to confess You as Lord.  I know what will be my choice, Lord, as You know what I will do also.  I find it a deep comfort knowing that You know me and know that I will never deny You again.  Comfort and peace, joy, more joy knowing You know my heart. 

I will go to my Father's house worshiping and praising the Savior that gave His all for me, as I will give my all for Him.  My love, my thanksgiving for this life in You, Lord, I will worship You with all of my heart, my soul.  I love you so much, Jesus.

There is no shame that will ever again follow me as I will chose to follow You this 22nd day of April, 2011 and each day until I arrive in glory with You.