TEARS OF JOY

Psalm 3:4  "I cried out to the Lord with my voice, and He heard me from His holy hill."

My God, how you have held me so many times while I cried tears of sorrow, tears of anguish, tears of helplessness.  You gave me comfort, understanding, forgiveness while you wiped my tears.  You told me how You loved me,  You were just there always when I cried.  I did not always know or recognize the fact that You were there, but now I see how You never left me alone during these times.  But now....

My tears are tears of joy.  And they are because of You, my Lord.  You have me weeping tears of joy.  It is because of Your presence.  When You come to me, when You flood my being with Your presence, joy fills my heart to overflowing and tears begin to flow.  Tears of joy.  Tears of completeness as You are here with me.  I feel so complete, there is nothing missing from me in Your presence.  I have all I need, all I desire, all I could ever want, when You are here.

You come to me at all times day and night.  I am always expecting You when I am driving down the road, as You have come to me so many times now in the car.  I begin to sing worship to You and there You are, sometimes for a while, sometimes just long enough to whisper something to me, and then You are gone.  Those times I can maintain composure, but it is when you literally sit down beside me in the car, when You begin to talk with me, those are the times I am a complete mess.  There is no other way to explain it Father, you know I just begin to weep.  I am so overwhelmed by Your glory, Your gentleness.  So beautiful...

You spend days with me when I am off work.  As I read Your word, sing and worship You, play worship music and pray, You come.  You come and you stay.  You make me aware of Your presence and then You just have a seat and tell me to go along with my day, You just keep me company.  The sheer joy of it.  No one would probably believe me, but I don't care.  I know You are here, I know You will be back. Last Wednesday was wonderful.  We visited, You watched as I did my lessons, did my housework, You listened as I sang songs worshiping You for Your love and goodness to me.  You watched me cry for joy because You were here.  It was the most amazing day. Then I left to go to church and when I got there, You sat in the back and watched.  I don't know if anyone else knew You were there.  But I did.

At night, when I awake, worship music is playing in the room, and out of my mouth rise sounds of worship to You.  My heart begins to pour out the love I feel for You in song and praise.  You come in.  I don't know how long You stay, but I know You are there when I fall asleep and You are usually there when I wake up again.  Always loving, watching over me, keeping me in Your care.  Tears spring to my eyes as I realize You are looking after me as I rest.

Tears of joy.  My Father, tears of joy that flood my eyes, joy unspeakable filling my heart, my mind wanting to ask so much but my spirit bursting with so much joy, I can only weep.  I sing praises to my King, my precious Lord, praises to my Father, My God.  I love You so much Lord, what can I say to tell You how much You mean to me.  You are my everything, there is noone else, noone that can satisfy my soul like You, my God.  Thank You for Your holy presence with me.  I treasure Your presence Lord, treasure Your love.  There is no place I would rather be, ever, but in Your presence.

I give myself to You, I give You all my worship, all my love this 9th day of January, 2011.