James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
The Word of God tells me to count it all joy when I am tried and tested. This really took some soul searching and seeking God to truly understand. So many times I have gone through things, such difficult things, and have not understood at that time. Some things I still don't understand. But I know that I was not alone.
Times were that I did not recognize God was with me. My first marriage was so bad, I was young, thought a good home would make this man be the husband I knew the Bible talked about. Raised Baptist, I had read what the Bible said about marriage, but when you are young, you leave out a few very important details. As in, unequally yoked, Godly man, pray for God's guidance BEFORE you do something. Well, we won't talk about it, just believe me when I say I would not want anyone to go through that. The reason I mention it is it was the knowledge afterwards of the Lord bringing me through it.
You see, in my heart, there was faith. I did not get to go to church much, but I knew the Lord and I knew I had to believe He would help me. And He did. I had not left my faith behind, it was still in my heart, just dormant for a while. Even in my state, I knew whose Name to call out. So here, such trials, such tests. I knew to call for my Lord. I believe I passed that one. Don't misunderstand me, I could not go to church much, but I loved the Lord. I would not have know to do something wrong, not here.
After I was released from this marriage, I was devestated, broken, I felt I was a failure. Why could I have not made this work. I loved, I was faithful, I was a good wife, but I failed. That was the enemy. It took the Lord to help me see that I had not failed, not in the sense that I thought. My failure came from not seeking Him. But I learned, and perservered.
I wish I could tell you here that I had learned and matured from this experience, but that was not for years to come. But no, there were to be more tests and trials. Perhaps some other time, I will be able to tell you.
Through it all, all the years, I finally came to the understanding of what my faith means. What having faith in a God so loving, so compassionate and so constant means. It means that no matter what I go through, what trial, what test, I know my Redeemer Lives, I know His unconditional love for me, and I know He has brought me through so much and will continue to do so, as long as my faith Him never falters. Not giving up, through all tests, trusing Him.
Perserverance. Complete faith. Maturing in the Lord to know Him, know His heart, understanding His desires and will for your life. Completeness in Him. One with the Father.
Another wonderful gift. Perserverance. My Lord, how wonderful you are. My Mighty Counselor, My Victorious Warrior, My Constant Companion. Thank you my God, for yet another life giving gift, perserverance. I worship you, my King. You are everything to me, and I love you more each moment of my life; this 20th day of December, 2010.
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