THE ONLY POSITION I WANT

Ruth 3:8  "In the middle of the night something startled the man and he turned and discovered a woman lying at his feet."

Have you thought about what heaven would be like?  Real thought, deep serious thought.  Have you pictured a mansion or a cabin perhaps by the river of life or perhaps have you considered what you would do all day long, there in heaven.  So many to see, family and friends gone before us, visiting the prophets and disciples.  How glorious will it be to actually meet Peter and Paul, oh, yes, King David.  I wonder if he still writes psalms.  I have a feeling he does, as I am sure that some of his psalms have filtered down to a friend that composes the music of heaven for us on earth.  I feel certain the Lord gives some of King Davids songs to His psalmists here on earth to use to draw worship from His children back to His throne.

Each time I think of heaven, I close my eyes and try to picture heaven, to draw it deep into my memory, wanting a sight of what it will be like, but I only see one thing.  I know the angels and elders are worshiping our Lord there, as I do here, only with so much more beauty, all notes perfect, words and sounds a mixure of only the sounds heaven can produce; choirs singing these songs, instruments playing softly, all singing, Holy, Holy, Holy; thousands and thousands of saints joining in the chorus, Holy, Holy, Holy.  But I don't see this.  Even though I know this is what is taking place, I don't see it.  When I close my eyes to picture heaven I only see one scene.

I see me, sitting at the feet of my Lord Jesus.  I am never any place but at His feet, leaning on His knee, looking into His eyes, those beautiful eyes that are looking at me.  His eyes smiling at me, yes, my Savior knows, that this has been what I have dreamed of for so long, and there it is, finally, a reality, my Jesus with me at His feet, listening to every word that comes from His lips, His voice, so sweet and soft.  So soft as that is what pure love sounds like, soft, sweet, beautiful.  He asks "Is there something you would like to know, my beloved", and all the things I thought I would ask Him when I got to heaven, all those unknown things that seemed so important; now my chance to find out; they all vanish from my thoughts as I look into those searching eyes, looking at me to see if I have something more in my mind, more important than He, and He finds nothing that takes His place, as any thought other than He has fled from me.  My only thought is of Him, my Redeemer, the One who gave all to save me from an eternal death, the precious Lamb of God who drew His last breath draped in sin, my sin; beaten, whipped, bore stripes upon His back for every illness and disease I will ever have or come in contact with; the Son of God who descended into hell and took back the keys of my eternity from the enemy, so stunned at this miraculous, King of Glory who rose from the depths of sin and dispair, bringing victory to all who would love and follow Him.  My thoughts only of Him, nothing is more important; and as I see myself at His feet, I am just loving Him, worshiping Him, being drenched in His presence for eternity.

The only place I see myself when I dream of heaven, I feel the place of honor which my Lord gives to me as I love Him so, as I worship Him and give Him first place in my life here, honoring Him here, He will give me a place of honor, beside Him, He has told me, but I choose to be at His feet, adoring Him.  This 30th day of September, 2011, when I get to heaven, I don't need to be lifted up, I don't need to be honored, I don't need to hold any office, should there be any.   Sitting at the feet of Jesus, my Beloved Jesus, is the only position I want.

HIDING MYSELF IN YOU

Psalm 143:9  "Rescue me from my enemies, O Lord, for I hide myself in you."

So happy I was to get home, Lord, home to You, in this sanctuary You have made for me.  Just to climb up on Your lap and tell you about my day.  I would never think of myself as intimidating, but evidently I make people nervous.  Father, show me; Holy Spirit, awake me to this if it is indeed true.  I only want to please my Lord, I do not want to do anything that would cause anyone to doubt my love for You, doubt my love for them.

Under the guise of just doing my job, am I doing anything that is not of You, my Lord?  Can it be that I let anything ugly rise up in me, pride perhaps, loftiness?  Father, please let it not be so and if Your Sweet Spirit finds this in me, please cut it off the vine, cut off that part of me that is offensive to You, to Your work in me.  I know my job, Father and I know I must train.  Training is not always easy, and neither is learning.  I know how long it is taking me to learn Your precious ways, Your path for me has taken me longer than I would like, for I go around some mountains time after time before I cross over them, but You remain patient with me, loving with me.  This is the attitude I want to have, to continue to have when I am training.  Patient, understanding, gentle direction.  But also there comes a time when I have to be firm, as You, my God have had to be firm with me, with correction, with redirection.  I think that is the problem, sometimes, Father, when I try to be nice and gentle, it is taken for weakness and then I become disregarded as to the role I have.  Yes, my Lord God, I see You smiling now.  I always wonder why I sit and these things begin to pour out of me, why I am heading in this direction or that one, and then You begin to smile; I can feel You smiling in my spirit; and You begin to tell me the basis for this Word.

You are so often taken for granted, my Lord.  Because You love us, because You tell us again and again how very much we are loved, how You treasure us, so often Your children take advantage of that love, and think of it as a weakness, disregarding Your Holiness, Your Majesty.  Just going about their way, thinking what's the harm, what difference does it make if things are done as You directed, as long as the end result is the same.  Compliance.  Just as in my work, things are done to be in compliance with the law; You direct our steps to be in compliance with Your Word, Your law.  The fact that You gently lead us, give us a will of our own, does not negate Who You are; Your complete Authority, You are God, the Great I Am.  When the steps of Your children drift, when You gently try to draw them back, and they keep going their way; then You must be firm, You must correct them.  If they get upset, or hurt, they just have to pout a while.  I see, Father, I still must be firm, give correction and let them pout or be upset.  As You know Your children will return to You given time to consider their mistakes, given time to see the lesson You were teaching them, they return to Your precious love that has never changed, never lessened.  And my trainees, will also see their mistakes, left to think on their own, and return to their training knowing that I was only giving them the direction they needed to do the best work possible.  As Your children, upon return, see that You only want the very best for them, the very best.

This is so good, my Lord.  Sitting in Your lap, letting You take away the unsettling feeling of defeat, of what the enemy tried to make as a failure on my part, and You take the time to use it to teach me, to show a parellel to Your kingdom, to Your children.  I love You so much.  I cannot do this without Your guidance my Lord, without Your love and grace.  Precious Lord, You are everything to me; my life.

This 29th day of September, 2011, do You mind if I just sit here a while longer, just drawing strength from You, just loving the way You refresh my spirit as I sit with You.  So happy, so blessed, sitting in Your presence, loving You.

MY BEGINNING AND MY END

Revelation 21:6-7  "He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of living water.  He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son."

How much more blessed can I be today, my Lord.  That You would choose to spend time with me, here at home today, to bless me with Your Presence, with Your Glory.  As I watched a 10 year old VCR recording of a worship service where You were being worshiped by thousands of people, such joy filled my heart as I saw unity in Your children, worshiping You, their Lord.  I know there had to be so many different churches represented there, but they stepped outside denominational boundaries to give praises to You, their God.  I wept with joy as Your spirit filled my home, as I knelt before You giving You the glory for my life, the honor of Your Lordship over my life.  And then later as I began to do some chores, You spoke to me, telling me You were my Beginning and You will be my End.

Then, my Lord, my King, my beautiful Savior, You told me that You drew me to you when my life began, loving me from before I was born; I was Your creation, created to worship You alone.  You told me that You would be my End, when You would come and draw me to You once again as Your Bride.  And then, my Redeemer, You told me that all the stuff inbetween from then to now, You CHOSE to forget.  It is as though it never took place; all the rebellion, all the pride, all the selfish acts of flesh; the times I walked the path that was not the one You chose for me; all forgotten.  Never to be seen again.  You placed Your Holy Spirit within me to lead me and guide me.  To show me when I erred, to show me the right way, not letting me reside in sin but drawing me out from the enemy's snares, back to Your Light.  The Holy Spirit, to be my best friend on this earth, to be my teacher, lighting up Your Word as I read, teaching me Your ways, showing me how to draw into Your presence.  As I was reading last night, Holy Spirit, You showed me that I am to content in what the Lord gives me.  Not to be asking for more than You are giving me at one time.  I can want more of You, I cannot help but want more, each day, more of You; but You want me to be content with the portion of You that You give me, learning to draw upon what is there at the time, absorbing each delicate part of You until I am completely at ease in that portion.  Until that time I understand each and every word that You give me, each gift at that time, until it is a part of me that will not shake.  Then You told me, more would come.  You told me to be patient, to love and delight in each portion of You that You give me at a time.  Patient, knowing more would come to me, more of You would come, when I became completely enveloped in what is already given.

As I write this, my God, I ask how can it be I am so blessed to receive from You.  How is it that You give me so much, You reveal so much to me.  I am so blessed.  I love You so much my God, so much.  I cannot imagine my life without You, without Your complete control over my life.  Yes, my Lord, I know, You give because I yield to You, because I love You without question.  Because I hold nothing to myself but give it to You for Your filtering, for Your Holy Spirit to sift through, making sure there is nothing I keep that is not of You.  You bless me, my Lord, You bless me so.

I began my life with You giving me birth, on Your day, You gave me birth, setting me aside to be Your worshiper, to be so in love with You.  And one day, I know my life will end.  I am not afraid of this end, as I know it will be the beginning of a beautiful day for me.  Many fear death, my God, and I pray they will come to truly know You and know that You love them, that You hold them in Your Hands, their time is in Your hands as is mine, the Beginning and the End.  The End that will be in You, when my work on earth is done, when I have worshiped You with all my heart here, glorifying You with my life, with my praise, I will be brought to my reward, my eternal life with You.

This 28th day of September, 2011, I know my end will come one day.  But until that day, I know my days will be filled with You, my Lord, filled with Your presence, as You show me Your great plans for me, as You use me for Your glory alone.  Precious Lord, the Beginning and the End.  How I love You.

NOW STRENGTHEN MY HANDS

Nehemiah 6:9  "Their hands will get too weak for the work, and it will not be completed."  But I prayed, "Now strengthen my hands."

Sometimes when I get overly tired and weary, the attacks seem to flood over me.  I wonder at these times, find myself thinking thoughts that I know the Lord has not placed in my mind and have to fight to draw myself from them.  Truth be told, I imagine we all have that problem from time to time.  After attacks as these, I wonder if I will be able to do all the things I find myself led to do by my Lord.  See, the enemy not only plants the thoughts, but he leaves the deep impressions there for a while also.  You can fight off the attack, but afterward when you are weary from the fight, you find the residual thoughts there of whether you can complete this work the Lord has for you.  It is these underlying thoughts that must be conquered, must be corrected.

Holy Spirit, work in me, now as I sit here, do Your precious work in me.  Help me Lord, help me to quench these thoughts; please remove the indentations that they made in my mind before they flow to my heart, damaging my spirit.  I need You to strengthen my hands.  As You, my Lord, come upon me, flowing that precious grace from my Father down to me, filling my heart with His love, with His encouragement that I am His choice for this work; I am chosen by Him to do this work, no one can do what I can do for Him concerning this work.  It is not my work, but it is His work.  Through Him, this work will be completed.  My hands will be strengthened, my spirit will rise in me and become one with my Lord's spirit and the work will continue, just as my Father has planned.

Those indentations in my mind, Holy Spirit, I ask that You fill them with my Lord's healing salve, smoothing over all the places dented by unhealthy thoughts, by thoughts of defeat and failure; fill those places with knowledge of the Word of God, so that the next time the enemy takes aim that Shield will be in place and will not let those darts of destruction penetrate my mind.  Draw me near to my Lord, let me be held in His arms while my spirit is being restored with Your words of love and comfort, my Lord.  Draw me into Your presence, let me sit at Your feet with my head on Your knee, resting for a time while You refresh my soul with Your living waters, those waters that heal whatever they touch, let them flood over my soul, over my entire being and heal me.

Let Your presence fill my room, clouding everything in Your Glory, shutting out any darkness that tries to come in, let only Your Light shine over me, in me and through me.  With Your strength, dearest Lord, I can make it to the end of the journey You have me on.  The journey that ends at Your throne room, where You have made a home for me with You for eternity.  This 27th day of September, 2011, I know I can finish the work You have for me, with Your help, with the help of Your precious Spirit that You have given to dwell within me, to give me blessed Hope and Comfort.  I love You forever my King, I worship You with all that is within me.

ASKING FOR WHAT'S IMPORTANT

Matthew 7:7a  "Ask and it will be given to you...."

Sunday morning the pastor was talking about the the death of our Savior, when He cried out "It Is Finished";  that what Jesus came to earth for was accomplished, and completed and it was finished.  As the pastor was talking, the Lord began to talk to me about prayer, and what was the important that needed to be asked for.

The Lord told me that people pray for healing; healing is already promised in His word, He told me.  He said that when Jesus suffered the beatings, all the stripes on His back were for our healing.  There was no need to pray for healing He said, just to believe His Word.  Healing is ours, it was accomplished at the cross.  The Lord said people pray for provision.  He has already promised provision to us,  He has promised us food and clothing.  And we know He has given so much more. But He promises to meet all our needs according to His riches in Heaven.  It is promised to His children that love and serve Him.  Believe His Word.

Parents pray, families pray for the salvation of their loved ones.  Acts 16:13 tells us to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and we will be saved, we AND our household.  The Lord has already promised that He will save your loved ones.  He will draw them to Him; you may never see it for yourself, but He promises and He does not lie.  Believe His Word.

I could go on with the other things that people pray and ask the Lord for, but I will get to the point the Lord was making with me.  He told me the most important thing to ask for was His Presence.  It is the one thing that is not a given.  We need to ask.  We need to seek His face, we need to worship Him alone, loving Him with all our hearts and ask for Him to dwell within, ask Him to come, ask to enter into His Presence.  He is waiting for us to ask this one thing, to pray with all our hearts, seeking Him, yearning for His presence, asking Him to come.  Think back and remember a time when you were waiting for an invitation to come, wishing so much that you would be invited to this most important occasion, it meaning so much to you.  Well, that is what the Lord is doing.  He loves us so much that to be invited into our hearts, to be longed for, to be sought after, He is waiting to be invited to come dwell with us.  It is what He is desiring, to be one with us; to share our lives, to be loved more than anyone or anything else.  This is what we should be praying for; this is what should be on our lips when we lift our voices to the Lord.  His presence, the one prayer that is not given without asking. 

All our prayers for ourselves, for our loved ones, His Word provides, He has promised in His Word, it is ours through believing in Him, believing His Word.  Healing, pronounce His Word over yourself or your loved one for healing, "Be healed in the precious Name of Jesus"; provision, speak aloud His Word, "My God shall supply all my needs according..."; His Word is alive with all the promises, all the healing, provision, salvation for all.  It is there for His children who believe, who have faith that His Word is true, that He loves us.  The children who trust Him with their lives.

My prayer, my Lord God, is only for Your presence.  I desire Your presence more than I do healing, provision, as I know all is there for me.  Your Word has promised that You would never leave me or forsake me, so I know You take care of all my needs, You have in the past, You did today and I know You will tomorrow and in my future.  But I want Your presence.  I seek You my God, I seek Your presence.  I live for each moment that I spend in Your presence.  The peace, the immense joy and contentment I find in Your arms, breathing in the sweet fragrance of Your love, having Your joy flood my soul.  This is what is important in my life. 

This 26th day of September, 2011, I find myself looking back at what I use to ask You for.  Forgive me, Lord, as I did not realize the one, true importance in my life.  My only desire now is Your sweet presence, how I love Your presence, my Beloved.

THE ONE PLACE OF WORSHIP

Deuteronomy 12:5  "But you are to seek the place the Lord your God will choose from among all your tribes to put his Name there for his dwelling."

Have you been in worship services where not every one seems to be on the same page?  I know this seems like a strange statement but it seems that way to be so often.  I am stumbling here as I do not wish to make anyone upset or anything, but it seems like I either obey my Father or fear man.  At one time this would have thrown me, but now I desire only to obey my Father. 

You cannot come into worship, to present yourself before the throne of God to worship Him with all the stuff from the world clouding in on you.  You need to learn to give those things to the Lord.  Each day, each morning, night and all the inbetween times, give Him these things that are binding you down, holding your captive; release those fears to Him.  He can only deal with them when you give them to Him.  He will not intrude where you do not invite Him.  Why would you want to contain the enemy's accusations, the fears of tomorrow, and the discrimination of the world when you can be free in our Lord.  Free to truly worship Him.

The place that worship begins, the one place of worship that is truly the Lords; from you alone, is in your heart, in your soul, your spirit.  When worship begins in your heart, it flows through your entire being and draws your spirit into the spirit of God.  The Holy Spirit will connect your spirit in a moments time to that of the Lord.  That drawing, that wooing you feel to praise, to worship, to sing a new song from your heart to the Lord, that wooing is the work of the precious Holy Spirit, who is at work in you to put you on the path that the Lord has chosen for you, the path that will lead you straight to His throne room.  The one place of worship where you will feel the presence of our Lord, where He will draw you unto Himself and hold you, restore your soul, refresh your spirit as you sing, as you worship Him alone, as you give Him your love, your undivided attention.  The one place, the true home of worship, your heart.

I love to worship You, my God.  I worship You each time I awaken in the night, and as I lay awake in the early morning hour I worship You.  I live to worship You, to give You praise, to give You all my love.  I love making new songs, songs with words that come from my heart, wanting to let You know how much You mean to me, how important You are to me, how much I thank You for Your goodness, Your mercy and grace.  My spirit calls unto You, my God, calls unto You to come, dwell with me, let me feel Your presence.  I need Your presence, my Lord, for I am nothing without You, I am lost without Your presence, without Your grace I can do nothing on my own.  I don't always react well, I think, when people tell me how good something I did is, as I know I am nothing without You.  I tell them it is You that is the Giver of all that I am, any talent I possess came from You, as a gift to me.  Let me never misuse Your gifts, Father, they are so precious to me.  If I sing, I know it is You giving me voice, if I witness, I know the words are coming from Your precious Spirit that dwells in me, and when I write, it is the words that You pour into my heart as I sit before the keyboard.  I give You the glory, for all, for everything, that I am, that I do.  I am Your servant, chosen by You to do Your will, and I submit to Your will alone.

The one place of worship, my heart; my heart that goes into services with me, to join the other hearts there that have brought their worship with them.  And as we begin to worship together, united in our love and honor for You, my Lord, that worship will draw You into the sanctuary that we become through You, for You to dwell in as one.  When we return home, we bring, we all bring Your presence with us home.  Together, corporately, or individually.  I don't understand always how this happens, I just know it does.  I don't need to know all the answers, I only need to know You, my God, who does know all the answers.  You will tell me things as You deem I should know, and I, patiently will wait on You.  You are the Lord, my God.

This 25th day of September, 2011, I am waiting on You, my King, loving my time in Your presence, in the place of worship that begins in my heart.  I love You.

DELIGHTING IN MY LORD

Jude 21  "Keep yourselves in God's love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life."

I wonder sometimes, do people feel I am just lost to this world?  Do you ever talk about the Lord, your love for Him coming through with such passion that they look at you as though you have completely lost reality with the world?  Sometimes I get this look, and at one time, I must confess, it disturbed me.  Was I really not understanding the call the Lord had on me, was I misinterpreting what this love and intimate relationship was supposed to be?  I have wept so many times as the Presence of the Lord hovers over me and begins to consume me, from the head....my thoughts; to my heart.. ..feeling like it would burst with joy; to my spirit....leaping with excitement at the Holy Spirit's urging to be one with the Lord.  I did not think many understood what I felt, feeling sometimes strange, not knowing, but recognizing the hand of my God on me, knowing that He is so pleased with my devotion, my love, my worship.

A friend recommended a book to me by Jeanne Guyon.  I saw there were several about the Song of the Bride, the Song of Songs, and Intimacy with Christ.  As I began to read, my heart melted as I saw someone so many years ago understood completely.  I wept as I read the beauty of the intimacy of my Lord, and the meanings she interpreted to the Song.  To His kisses.  The true longing for this relationship with my God is so proper, so real, just as the Lord wants, we are His to command, to lead into a total love affair with Him that is consumated with the taking of the church at long last to Himself, His Bride to His kingdom.  We were created totally for the pleasure of our God, no other reason,  just for Himself.  The Lord draws me to Himself, freely as I seek Him, He knows that I am His alone, that there is nothing else that gives me pleasure save His company, His presence.  Only the things of the Lord give me real satisfaction, the ultimate sweetness of life is Him alone.

As I at one time wondered what people thought of me, that bothers me no more, as the only One I chose to please is my Lord.  It is what He thinks of me that concerns me.  If I am pleasing Him, how can I be displeasing to His children; and of the world, well, the world does not matter.  Only the Lord, and through Him, His children that love Him so much will understand me as there are so many of His children that are so like me....loving, adoring, worshiping my beautiful, wonderful Lord, my Savior, my Bridegroom.

This 24th day of September, I am delighting in my Lord, as I go deeper into the things of my Lord, as I seek Him, seek to please Him and worship Him with all my heart and soul.  My Lord, well, my Beloved, You know my heart.....You know my love....You know my delight.

SPIRITUAL SPA

1 John 3:19  "This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence."

What a day this was.  Everything went well until the end of the day.  I guess when folks are tired from their day they just have to wipe out everyone in their path.  My assistant had just gotten through telling me about how she perceived my personage with unruly customers.  She said she thought my boss must have had this guy call on the phone to give me a hard time to see if he could shake me.  She said he would just have to go back and say, "nope, she never lost her temper, never got ugly, just stayed nice and sweet".  She really had me laughing as she mimmicked me responding to this phone call.  Then here came the enemy, in the guise of three ladies, well two actually, one did not have much to say.

What can you do.  I am really big on customer service, as I feel it the one true way I can show the Lord's love to people is to be nice to them, no matter how they treat me.  You know, it actually makes some people mad when they cannot get a reaction from you.  But still, I did not let my human nature overtake my spiritual nature when it came to dealing with these ladies.  Number one, they were not really mad at me, more so at themselves, but as we all know, it is not easy to beat yourself up when you won't admit you are wrong.  Second, it was at the end of the day, and it seemed like their day was a lot worse than mine.  When you do not give all to the Lord, when you do not pass those problems up to Him, you just are put under so much pressure you are not equipped to deal with.  So these ladies unloaded on me, and by the time they left, I was ready to drop.  My assistant said I needed that spiritual spa we were talking about earlier.  And she was right, it was exactly what I needed.

I got in my car to drive home and spent the next thirty minutes "Pursuing His Presence"; just soaking in His presence listening to beautiful piano music, the music drawing the words of hymns and choruses from my heart as the piano was played, letting the peace of the Lord flow over me.  On and on the music played as I drove, the Lord just holding me, letting me rest in Him and knowing that He was once again restoring my soul, lifting my spirit to His and replacing that weariness with His perfect love and joy.  The joy of the Lord can take away any stressful day, any worries that might be taking away your peace.  Just let Him give you that joy, He so wants to instill you with joy and peace.

By the time I arrived home, I was aglow with the love of my Lord, my King.  You know I read this morning that unless you totally surrender to the Lord, you cannot consider Him your King.  To be subject to the King means total surrender of self and will.  I smiled as I read this knowing I had truly surrenderd to my Lord, everything.  All to Him I surrender, I surrender all to my King.

This evening, the 23rd day of September, 2011,  is the last evening for my sis to be here and I will go and spend time with her.  Tomorrow night, once again, when I am home, I will enjoy the "spiritual spa" that I have come to know in the presence of my Lord, my God.  Soaking and soaring with Him, in His beautiful presence, as He gives to me and I give to Him, love forever true.

THE ANTHEM OF THE HEART

1 Samuel 2:2  "There is no one holy like the Lord; there is no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God."

My heart, my soul, my spirit has a song that is sung all day long.  Holy, Holy, Holy is my Lord, is my Holy God.  Hallelujah to my Lord, to my King.  Glory, glory, glory to the Lord who is Worthy, Worthy, Worthy to be praised.  The song of my heart, the anthem of my heart. 

In Websters dictionary, the word anthem is said to mean "song of praise, devotion or patriotism; piece of sacred music, usually with words from some passage in the Bible".  This is why I call my songs to my Lord, the anthem of my heart.  They are songs of praise, true devotion to Him alone, and so often with words from the Bible, words that the Holy Spirit draws up from within me, stirring my heart to put music and song to these beautiful words, so many spoken by my Lord; bringing forth these songs, lifting them from my lips to the throne room of my Lord, an anthem truly made just for my God alone.

I sing His Name, Jesus, so softly sometimes I can hardly hear myself singing but my spirit knows there are words coming from me.  So reverently, so lovingly, I want to draw Him so close to hear my love coming from my heart for Him alone.  Gently, I know He caresses me as He bends His ear close to me to hear my love songs to Him; there is nothing so intimate than having the precious Lamb of God holding me close with His face right there, next to me, listening so intently to what I am singing, accepting with such joy the love coming from my heart to His.  So precious is that time I spend with You, my Savior.    These times are what gives me strength, gives me courage to go on another day in the battle.  These gentle moments with You build my faith, showing me once again that You are with me, You love me so and You will not be leaving me, ever.  Precious is this intimacy with You, my Lord; it gives me such peace.....nothing can penetrate the walls of that intimacy as long as soul, my heart and my spirit are singing, proclaiming the anthem of love and adoration to You.

My Lord, my King, of thee I sing Holy, Holy, Holy are You, precious and beautiful is Your Name, sweet and fragrant is the love that flows from Your heart to me, Jesus, Jesus, what a wonderful friend You are to me, my Everything You are, my Completeness, my Joy, my Bridegroom.  This 22nd day of September, 2011, I am singing my heart's most precious song of love, the anthem of the heart, my heart that belongs to You alone, my Beloved.

WHAT MAKES ME SPECIAL

Deuteronomy 33:19  "Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders."

I was born on a Sunday.  I was born on the 4th of July, on a Sunday.  Now I always thought that made me pretty special.  My daddy had me believing that all those fireworks and picnics were just for my birthday, because of me.  I felt pretty special because of all this.  I grew up very blessed having parents that I never doubted their love. I had a brother and sister that loved me, and although we were not rich, just a typical middle class family, as I look back, I see how very blessed we were.  Not to say there were not problems in our household, but I was loved, and I felt special.

Through the years with all the things I endured, a lot of that special feeling went away.  My parents were killed, that's when you realize you can never go home again, and they are not there, no matter how old you get, to let you know how special you are to them.  So those feelings pretty much left me.  I just lived, remarried, loved and was loved, and I lived day to day.  But there was a missing part of me.

When the Lord lifted me back to Him, out of the dark place I was in....do you know, you can be in church, you can be married, you can have people all around you telling you that you are great, you are smart, you are nice, and you still can be in a dark place in your heart, in your soul?  I now can look at people and see in their eyes that they are in a role, they want so badly to be part of the role they are playing, but for some reason in their life, it is not coming.  I use to have a saying "Fake it until I make it".  I would just act like I had it all together until it was natural.  I would slap a silly grin on my face until it appeared naturally.  No one knew the difference; if they did, I guess they did not care enough to reach out to me to see what I needed, what I was so hungry for.  But God....

My Lord knew what I was hungry for, He knew what I needed, what would make me feel special again.  And I came to realize what I was hungry for, what I needed, exactly what made me feel special.  It was Jesus.....It was the Holy Spirit.....it was my God.  I needed the Lord, the completeness of the Lord to make me complete.  There is a reason people have that emptiness inside, I believe it is placed in us when we are created, that empty place just waiting to be filled by the Lord.  But He will not fill it without that invitation that He is waiting for.  That total longing, that desire for only Him, and when you get to the place that nothing will satisfy you except that Jesus fill your very being, He is there.  He fills you with a completeness in Him, total and lacking nothing.

Now I am complete in Him, in the Lord I find nothing lacking in myself anymore.  I am happy, I am content where He places me, where He leads me I fear not as I know for certain He is not leaving me alone, He is there with me at all times.  When I tire, I can lean back into His presence and rest for a moment while He restores my strength with His own, while He refreshes me communing with my spirit, pouring His peace into my heart and joy into my soul.  From a childhood of feeling special, through the dry years to now, this time in my life, when I truly have found what feeling special really is.  I belong to the Lord.  My Father is mine and I am His.  I cannot feel anymore special that this.  He loves me, don't you see this, He loves me, He loves you.  We, His beloved children, are special to Him.  He gave all for us, loves us so much.  I am so special to Him.  So special. 

I love to worship You, my Lord.  You made me to worship You and I do so with an open heart, open so You can see nothing in it but love for You, a longing and desire that only You can fulfill, a commitment to You that will never cease.  I will worship You, my Holy Lord, for You are so worthy of all my worship, all my praise,  all my love.

This 21st day of September, 2011, my spirit is looking into the eyes of a Father who loves me with a consuming passion, who has my life in His hands, and will never leave me.  This, and only this, is what makes me special.

LIVING BY THE RIVER

Revelation 22:1  "Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing down from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city."

Years ago, when I lived in Louisiana there was a river that ran through the city I lived in.  Perhaps not so much through it as along side of it.  One day as I was driving by I saw a houseboat across from the bank by a small island.  People were on the bank honking their horn for the people of the houseboat to get in the motor boat and come and get them to come visit.  I can remember thinking how wonderful this would be, how peaceful, not to have company unless you came and picked them up to cross the river.  How very peaceful to live in a houseboat tied up by the river.

Well, that never happened for me.  Life seemed so stressful for so many years, so many things happening, things that seemed to be out of control; yes, I was quite a control freak at that time.  But it did not help, there are things we just cannot control.  And trying to control them, just causes more stress, more anxiety, more hurts.  How foolish, what a waste of precious time.  But I can no longer go back and redo things than anyone else.  I believe the Lord designed things that way, you know, no do-overs in our life.  The only do-over we have is our relationship with the Father.  He allows us to come back to Him, to return to the One who loves us so passionately, so tenderly; wiping our tears, caressing our hurts and giving us back real life in Him.

So I never got my houseboat, but I did get to begin to live by the River.  I can actually close my eyes and dangle my feet in the River, that refreshing, soothing, healing River that flows from the throne of my God.  When the day gets long, when it grows weary, I just close my eyes and sit down by the River bank, put my feet in, and let that healing flow start at my feet and flow all the way up to my head, touching each part of my weary body until I begin to feel that refreshing in my spirit, that restoration in my soul and that unspeakable joy flow from my lips in songs of love and worship to my Lord.

Each evening when I end my day, I am drawn to the River bank by my Lord.  He loves me to sit beside Him at the River and tell Him about my day.  Yes, He was there, He saw everything that went on, but you know, He likes to have me tell Him all about it.  He wants to hear my perspective on what I saw, what went on.  After I tell Him how I saw it, so often He tells me how He saw it, and lets me learn the importance of those things that happened.  Why they happened and what He wanted me to learn from it.  Or sometimes He shows me how what I said to someone encouraged them, when I showed love from the Father to them.  We just have a beautiful conversation, a loving visit each night.

Have you not sat beside the Lord and discussed your day?  If you pray to Him at night, when you finish just lay quietly and listen for His beautiful voice coming to your spirit, and then when you hear him begin to speak, just talk to Him, share with Him your day.  Our Lord so loves it when you take the time to share your day with Him.  He will draw you to the River, and while you are visiting, you will also find yourself refreshed, restored, filled with joy.

I have a feeling one day, when my Father calls me home, I will find a cottage alongside the River, or perhaps a stream coming off the great River, with a little low bridge over it when He and I will sit in the evenings, feet dangling in the water, talking and sharing our day.  This 20th day of September, 2011, I am sitting along side my Lord, where I spend my most precious moments with Him, living by the River.

MATHEMATICS OF LOVE

Ephesians 3:17-19  (Message)  "And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love.  Reach out and experience the breadth!  Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God."

The Glory of our Lord, the precious Glory of our Lord.  From that glory we receive love to the tenth degree, unfathomable in our imaginations, the reality of His love so far from anything ever known.  How real is a love that would take the most Precious One from His Heavenly home to endure what none of us have any idea of.  I pray we will never know this as none of us would be able to endure this kind of torture.  But my Lord, You not only endured it, You willingly endured it knowing it was the only way to redeem us, the only way we could have any kind of relationship with our Father.  Sent here to be a sacrifice, You did so with more love for us, not even born yet, but knowing we would need a Savior when we came.

So the depths of Your love, my Lord, the depths of the love You have for me has no end, the distance, the height, the width......so often remembering that little song, how deep is the ocean, how wide is the sea, how high is the mountain of my Lord's love for me.  I can go no where from Your love.  It is not me that determines Your love for me, there is nothing I can do, I can never be good enough, I can never be too bad;  the love is all about You, it is what You are all about.  You are Love.  Everything about You is derived from love.  Your beauty is love.  The Word tells me that Your looks were ordinary, nothing special, but in my heart, in my dreams, You are beauty beyond anything I have ever seen.  The fragrance of Your love is unlike any I have ever known.  Sweet, soft, lingering is the fragrance of Your love.  Such a mixture of all the most precious oils ever known to man.  So sweet is Your love for me.  So beautiful is Your love for me.

Where can I go but to You, my sweet Lord.  I cannot escape the wooing, the drawing of Your love to me.  It draws me from out of myself into Your garden, Your beautiful garden of love where I can walk and talk with You.  Where I can sit at Your feet and listen to Your words, Your sweet words of love and encouragement; Your words that cause me to trust You even more, that cause me to love You beyond what I thought I was capable of loving.  I have never loved anyone like I love You my Jesus; You are all I think about; I want to sit in Your presence all the time.  I never want to be away from You, my Lord, and I know You want me with You.  That is what love does, it causes two to become One.  When I gave my life to You, put all my faith in You and began to love You more than anyone or anything, walking in Your Light, then I began to be One with You. Two into One.  What does not add up in the world's math, makes perfect sense in Heavenly figures, and it makes beautiful sense to me.

This 19th day of September, 2011, I am learning my math all over again.  The depth, the height, the width, the length of a love that will keep me walking in the Light; will keep me going from glory to glory in You, and will enfold me into  Oneness with my Beloved, Jesus.

LIVE IN THIS DAY

Esther 4:14  "For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish.  And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"

How often, Father, have You given me a word for someone, an encouragement, even a word of correction and I have just not done it when You asked me to.  I just figured, well, if it is You, I will know later and tell them tomorrow.  How foolish I was.  I know You have forgiven me these times and I also know that You are working with me, building up my faith, strengthening me in You, in Your Word and giving me the courage to speak up when You ask me to.  I have seen You use someone else to do the things that were mine to do, and I was ashamed of my fear of man keeping me from following You.

I know that You put us, Your children, those that love You so much and are following after You in positions of respect, authority and influence.  You have put me above what I ever expected.  I never thought I would have anything to say that would make a difference in other people, or that people would be encouraged by what I said.  But I have come to realize it is not me who is saying these things.  It is Your words that are coming from me.  I am only the vessel, the messenger, the one that You have put Your annointing on and given me the words to say to Your children; to encourage them, to show them Your love and grace; to give them Your peace and joy.  How blessed I am that You would chose me to do Your work, Lord; to encourage those whose walk is shaky, whose hearts are heavy and those who are burdened down with guilt and shame.  Your words coming from me, Your trust in me now to deliver what You tell me and to show Your love and mercy to those receiving Your words of love and life, of forgiveness and healing; restoring their lives to You, drawing them to Your Light, to Your joy.

There is no day more suited for giving words of encouragement to others than this day.  Delaying Your message could be devastating to them.  There may not be another day for some, as the enemy can have them so beaten down that their lives seem worthless.  We never know what is in someone's heart, there may not be time to wait to make sure this is what the Lord wanted, to question His voice.  You can be certain that the enemy will not be giving you words of love and encouragement for someone getting ready to be destroyed by him.  You can be certain that if the words contain a message of encouragement and love, it is from our Lord.

This is no time to be living in the future.  Take each day in itself.  As oft as we have been told by our Lord not to worry about tomorrow, neither should be let today be lost by wishing it was tomorrow or next week or Friday or whenever.  Live for today.  Take time today to see through the eyes of our Lord.  See His children, what are they going through, what can you say to make a difference to them.  We are placed, we are positioned by the Lord, just where He can use us to make a difference in the lives of others.  He has made us royal priests in Him and we are of the Kingdom of God.  There is no other royalty more wonderful than the one we are in.  Live this day as if our Lord Jesus was coming today.  Do not let any opportunity slip by to be used by our God.  We are His chosen, we are here to do His will, we are here to make a difference for the Kingdom of God.

My precious Lord, this 18th day of September, 2011, I ask that You use me this day.  When the night passes, I will ask once again to be used in anyway You want to use me, to do so.  It is my honor to serve You, my King.  I lay down my life to serve You.  I want to make a difference in the place You have put me.  I want to be Your Light in a place of darkness, I want to bring You into the lives of all You send me to.  You are my Lord and with You, I am living in this day.

TRUE RESTORATION

Lamentations 5:21  "Restore us to yourself, O Lord, that we may return; renew our days as of old."

Do you ever stop to think of where you might be save the grace of Jesus.  If not for His sacrifice, His life to redeem ours, His death for our birth?  I don't like to think of these things but I feel the Holy Spirit brings these things to mind; not wanting to condemn us, but to draw from our lips, from our hearts, true thanksgiving and worship to our Lord.  To bring to mind where we were, what condition our souls were in and how that one word, "Jesus", that one word said with true repentance changed everything in us. 

I remember not being able to pray, not being able to think past how horrible I was, what a pit I was in, feeling so unloved, and how could the Lord possible forgive the things I had done.  The enemy had done quite a work on me, my mind being so compressed into pity for myself, into shame, into complete wonder of how I could have let myself drift from God Almighty, Whom I had loved as a child, Who I knew as a child loved me, and yet I had gone from Him, left that enclosure of His precious love and grace; and there I was, at the bottom of what was my life.  But with that one word, the only word I could say through my shame, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus".  That precious Name rose from my heart and made utterance into the open air and He came.  My God swept down and lifted me up, took me from the bottom of a bottomless pit and lifted me high above my situation; high above my problems, and so much higher than my expectations.  In Psalm 81:7  the Word says "In your distress you called and I rescued you".  My Lord God was waiting for my call, for my cry for His help.  He did not make me wait, He did not make me suffer needlessly.  See, my Father knew I had already suffered far more than I should have, suffered far more than He ever wanted me to; but I had a free will and He let me do what I willed.  I know today that my Father suffered with me each step I took that was not in Him; He so wanted me to stay with Him, to be protected, to be honored, but I, in rebellion from circumstances in my life, walked my own path.  How foolish I was, what needless pain I bore, what precious time I wasted.  I will now and always, forever, just to be with You, my Lord.

My Lord, my God, has forgiven me.  If I asked again for His forgiveness for those things, He would not know what I was talking about, as it is far from His memory.  What He sees when He looks at me is my righteousness through my Jesus, His Beloved Son.  Psalm 84, verse 10 has such special meaning to me as I have told my Father that "I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked".  But that is not the plan of my Lord.  No, when He restores, He restores completely to Himself.  There are not steps you have to take; there is no degree of goodness you have to achieve before complete restoration takes place, it is instant.  You ask forgiveness, He gives it and You are restored to Him completely.  Doorkeeper?  "No", my Father said, "You will not be a doorkeeper, you are my child whom I love passionately, and you will sit at My side, in the inner circle of My throne room, you will dine at My table of plenty and be blessed all the days of your life". 

This is my Father's desire for His children.  He does not want us to be on the outside of where He is, He wants us close to Him, to share in His glory, to receive all the blessings of Heaven.  My Lord God wants to have such a personal relationship with His children, up close and personal.  All that my Lord desires is to be loved by His children.  You don't have to do anythng other than love Him and in truly loving Him with all your heart, you will be loving your neighbors as well.  True love for the Father can only lead to love for all those around you.  There will be no malice or hatred in your heart when there is true love for the Lord there.  If you have hate, envy, strife for your neighbor and you say you love the Lord.....well, check your dipstick as it will not show true spiritual oil there, it will be watered down love for the Lord.  It just cannot be true love for the Lord with those other things in your heart.  True restoration, real repentance, fellowship with our Lord gives nothing but love for others in your hearts.  Only the truth here.

My Lord, my God, how I love You.  I love those around me Lord, I love them.  I am totally surprised at the joy that comes from me when I look at Your children.  Even when they mistreat me, I can only just want to pray that they find You, find Your peace and joy.  I know when they are ugly to me that the only difference between them and me is You.  You have made all the difference in my life, in my heart.  You are everything to me, my Father, everything.  This 17th day of September, 2010, I am blessed, I am so blessed as the true restoration my Lord God has been given to me, and I will dwell in the house of my God forever.

AND THEN IT RAINED

Isaiah 41:1  "So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God."

What wonder and joy water from the sky produces.  I saw the rain coming down as I was working this evening.  Thought for a minute that I would have wished it could have waited till I had gone home, but we so need the rain, I really couldn't complain.  When I left work, it was raining harder and I was getting on the interstate.  The clouds were so low, it seemed like they were sitting on the interstate with rain inside them.  And of course, there was a lot of traffic. 

For an instant, Lord, there came that old anxiety, the one that would park me on the side of the road until it stopped raining.  And of course, along came that crafty devil warning me that I must be specially careful, for you know how people drive when it rains; suggesting to me that perhaps I should not go the interstate home, perhaps I should take the back road.  I guess I listened to this for a couple of miles until if I were going to go the back road, I needed to get over, and so I moved into the outside lane.  Then......then, I remembered, I did not have to fear any longer about the traffic.  I had left all that behind me, I did not have to let it rise up in me, let that fear and anxiety cause me to question who I was in You again.  I know without any doubt I am Your child, I am Your beloved child and I do not have to fear anything.  That devil is so good at this, causing dismay, trying to get me to look away from You.  But no more, I keep telling him, no more.  I will keep my eyes on my Lord, I will look not to the left or the right, but straight ahead where Your Light shines bright so I can see the path, straight ahead where my Help comes from.

I stayed on the interstate, all the way to my turnoff as I usually go in the evenings to come home.  I just did my part to be safe, lowered my speed as did so many other drivers and kept right on coming home the way that is normal for me.  I kept my faith, I know I can trust You, my Lord.  You have proved that to me so many times, and this day was no different.  This is what it is, to be loved so by You, Lord, that no matter what seems to be, what the enemy will tell me, it is only what You tell me it is; what You lead me to do or not to do.  Trust and obey.  Complete faith that You will keep me in any situation, that I am safe in You always.  And should something I don't expect happen, You will be there with me also, taking me through it too. 

I love You, my Lord, there is none I love more than You.  You are my life, my everything.  I don't know how to thank You, this peace You have given me over my life, in my entire being, that I can just lean into You and know You have me covered with grace, grace that abounds more and more each day.  Such grace, such mercy, such love; all from the Lord that is my Rock, my Salvation, my Love.

This 16th day of September, 2011, I thank You, Lord, for the rain, for the much needed rain.  And my Father, I thank You that once again, You have shown me that through whatever storm life might bring to me, You are there with me in the midst of it, You are there holding me with Your peace, Your joy and Your beautiful love.

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS

Psalm 27:13  "I am confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."

As I lay awake early this morning, Lord, my mind and heart on You, whispering praise and love to You, the Holy Spirit reminded me of some important things I had forgotten at work yesterday.  Wow!  My first thoughts.... dread at forgetting, berating myself for not remembering something so important, how could I have possibly forgotten something I do everyday. What a dummy I was, how could I do this?  And then, You, my beautiful Lord, You began to wash Your peace over me once again.  Not the end of the world, it was not the first time this had happened, perhaps not with me, but with many others.  Showing me, the times I thought it was so bad when someone else did not do it, well, it can happen to me also.  No one is perfect, save You, my Lord.  I can take care of it first thing this morning, get it done, not as good as doing it yesterday, but all is not loss.

Once again, my Lord, You have put things into their proper perspective, their proper order with me.  While these things are important, they do not have the urgency that the Kingdom of God has.  The true urgency of this life is drawing others to You, Lord.  My sweet Lord, life begins with You.  When You are made the focus of one's life, as mine is, then true life begins.  As we walk through this world, birth, childhood where we first learn to trust, usually our parents, this world has what we think, is our life in it's hands.  The world shapes us, things that happen either grow us strong or shatter us, depending on the strength we believe we have in ourselves.  Beauty, riches, popularity, all these things that are taught to us by society to be what shapes our lives, what makes us who we are.  So many are truly fooled by these perceptions of those in our world.  I, was also, once fooled.

My Lord, You, and only You, are truly the Creator.  My life, a disaster looking for a place to happen, when You, stepped in and took me off the merry-go-round of a life that was going nowhere.  You showed me the reality of life, the main focus of what my life should be, the true living of my life should be.....YOU.  When I began to truly know what trust was, where I could put my trust and it would never be lost, in You,, my King, where I would never be disappointed, then life began for me.  When all the talk of economics of our nation begans to put fear in people, You are still showing me that I can trust You for everything.  Nothing that goes on in my life or on this earth and beyond happens without Your knowledge, without Your hand.  You alone have the power to overcome all evil, all attempts of the enemy, all disaster.  I believe that things are allowed to strengthen me, strengthen all that call You Lord.  You will never forsake me or Your children as we look to You.  If all fails around me, I will not be devastated as I have my foundation in You, and You are not going to leave me.

When all else fails, when the systems of this world are no longer in place, I have You.  My day begins with You, it ends with You.  You are my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night.  My constant companion, You never leave me during the day.  I have learned to worship You in my entire being in a room full of people.  I sing songs of love and praise to You while actually conducting my work.  My spirit crys aloud to You with adoration, with words of love, calling to You in the deep of the night as I rest, nothing in me ceases to draw near to You, whether I am awake or asleep.  You have become everything to me, my every breath is You.  I don't ever want to live the way I did before Lord, as that was not life, not true living as I have found in You.

My Lord, my Savior, my dearest Friend, my life is in You.  My hope is in You, my strength is in You.  Thank You, my Lord, for this everyday mercy that was new again this morning.  Your grace that abounds to me each time I whisper Your Name, Jesus, each breath I take, grace abounds to me.  Thank You for loving me with a love that I know will never end; for Your faithfulness that has shown me I can trust You with my entire life, all that concerns me, You will never fail me.  Thank You for Your presence, which I love and desire to always dwell in.  I love You with a love that has consumed me, my Lord.  You are my life, my world and I love You so.

This 15th day of September, 2011, I know that if all else fails, once thing I know for sure, You are still Lord of lords, King of kings, my Savior, and the One that calls me His own, His beloved.

HIS LIFE CONTINUES

2 Corinthians 13:5  "Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves.  Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you....unless, of course, you fail the test."

I was not the smartest kid in school.  I also wasn't the least smart kid, just not the smartest.  Not from any lack of brain power, as I had a lot of common sense (yes, there were times that  that was questionable also) but I was smart.  I was just lazy.  I did not have my mind on school, did not like to do homework and just did not do my best.  I have regretted that on numerous occasions, but that, also, cannot be gotten back.   So I failed a number of tests in school.  I also failed a number of life tests also, and those, too, cannot be redone.  At this time in my life, and what the Lord has brought me through, these things do not have to be redone.  I know now, at this time, it is the Lord that brings me through each day, not what I know, but that I know Him.  I am saying all this to get to this important point.

I refuse to fail the most important test I may ever have to take.  I refuse to come short when it comes to faith in my Lord.  I believe in Jesus.  I believe in the Work of the Cross.  I believe my Lord died on that cross, was buried and rose again three days later, just as it was prophesied before He was born by the prophets of God.  I believe, no I know, that no matter what comes across my path, my Father is more than able to take care of it; not only able, but willing and wanting to take care of it.  My Lord is for me, not against me.  He is my Rock, my Shield, my Salvation.  He will see to it that I am in perfect health, as I believe His Word that says He took the stripes on His back for my healing, for my sicknesses.  I will not confess to getting sick, you will not hear me say "I think I am catching a cold" or "I must be coming down with something, I feel terrible".  No, I won't be saying those things.  Do you know how many Christians I hear let those cursing words come out of their mouths.  Listen to what you are saying friends, do not call sickness upon yourself or your family.  Jesus did not die in vain, He died to take those things from us.  I will admit there are times when I do feel bad, but I will not let satan glorify himself hearing me say those things out loud.  He will wait a long time to hear me glorify him.  Instead he will hear me say, My Lord is God over my body, He is ruler over my heart, He is the Joy of my spirit, He is my Peace, He is my everlasting Love.

The testing is going to come when people wait to see me if I fail the test of who I am.  It is not necessary for me to remember who I was, what I had wanted to be or where I thought I would be at this age.  It is only important that I remember Who lives in me.  It is important that I remember who I am in Jesus, and Who lives in me.  Jesus lives in me.  When I surrendered my entire will to Him, then He began to live in me to the fullest extent.  He directs my comings and my goings.  He brings forth the words from my mouth.  He alone gives me the words to encourage and lift up those that He brings to me, people that so need Him, but are so down trodden they do not think He would take them back.  So part of my function for my Lord, is to encourage, to tell them of my Jesus and His great love for them; to tell of His forgiveness, of His mercy and His peace.  Then, when they begin to see beyond me, and into my heart that shows Jesus alone, and they see Him coming through the words that come from me, they will give their hearts to the Lord God Almighty.

He lives in me.  Remember the beautiful hymn, "You ask me how I know He lives...He lives within my heart".  How true these words are.  He lives in me.  "No, never alone, no, never alone, He walks with me and talks with me".  So many of the precious songs, written by people just like you and me, written through and after such battles, seeing what God can do and what He did do in their lives.  Not always the way they had wanted, but always bringing them through whatever battle they were in.  Living in the redeemed, Jesus stays close to those who give all to Him, who ask Him into their hearts to stay, loving Him so much.

My Lord, my Jesus, how I love You.  I can do nothing without You as I have learned to lean on You, I depend upon You for my every breath.  I can breath on my own but it is only a shallow life I would live without You, my Lord.  You in me, makes every breath I take, life victoriously lived.  This 14th day of September, 2011, I am pushing past all the old, I am rushing to take each test You give me, so I may continue the course, the race to the wonderful finish.  As I live in You my Lord, thank You for living in me, thank You for continuing Your life in me, for loving me so much that You would dwell with me in this earthen vessel, devoted to You alone.

JESUS TURNED THE WATER INTO WINE

John 2:5  "His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you."

The very first miracle ever, before, I believe Jesus was ready to show His power, His strength, was done at the bidding of His mother.  I think that this was an example of respecting your parents, as He could have refused her, but He saw her faith in Him, He saw that she knew He had the power to change this situation and she looked to Him to satisfy the need.  This miracle, so beautiful in itself, was only a prelude of what was to come.  All the miracles of Jesus, from this wine to raising the dead, so miraculous, was only a taste of what would happen.  The greatest miracle I believe was when  my Lord and Savior went to that cross, endured such suffering and yet, still, walked up that hill to Calvary and was crucified in my place.  That to me, that love, that beautiful love, to me is the greatest miracle of all.

Jesus turned the water into wine.  I was driving home, listening to a beautiful song, "You do miracles so great...", and I began to think about the miracles that Jesus performed while He walked the earth. The Holy Spirit spoke to me, "Jesus turned the water into wine", and then He began to pour into my spirit the following:

The water, that beautiful flow of Living Water that was poured into my life when my Lord redeemed me, when He forgave my sins and took me from that pit of destruction I was in and gave me resurrection hope in Him.  That healing Water flowed throughout my body, going into each and every door, pushing open those doors that had been sealed shut with shame, pride, horror of looking inside again, the Living Water went into each and every place and healed all the hurt, all the shame, all the fear that wasa trapped inside.  Nothing was left inside me that was not washed first with the forgiving blood of the Lamb, and then rinsed with the Living Water of my Lord.  Restoring me, giving me new life, a new heart that now had hope, and so much trust in my Savior, my precious Savior that gave so much for me, to bring me back to Him.

And then, after the Water had done it's work in me, letting the old man in me die, and bring forth the new, then He began another miracle.  And it even greater than the last.  My old self, dying like dead skin on my body, shedding off, never to return, just falling away from me; those old habits, old thoughts, old fears, all gone now; nothing left of them.  Then now, at this time, I have a new body, a new wineskin in which to dwell with the Holy Spirit, my Lord's gift to me.  A new heart, my spirit now new in the Lord, joined with His spirit to bring joy to my soul each day, all  new.  The Holy Spirit then told me that the Lord once again has turned the water into wine.  The Living Water has now been turned into His Living Wine, a rich, bold wine from the Fruit of His Spirit giving me that Fruit, to enbrace my life, to bring glory to His life.  The Fruit that is all the goodness of the Lord, all the characteristics of my Jesus being poured into me, into my new wineskin that He made possible, that Jesus made just for me.  New Wine, His Wine, poured out fresh each day as I let His Wine flow through me to all those around me, sharing that Wine with love, mercy and grace that only abounds in me from the Lord.  I am nothing on my own, it is that Wine flowing through me, the flow of my Lord in me that gives me the new life I have. 

Miracles, the miracles of Jesus, some people only think of the in terms of illnesses, death situations, keeping accidents from happening, and they are, these are beautiful and precious miracles of my Lord.  But you need to look deeper and see the most miraculous miracles of all....what He has done in me, what He has done in you, and what He continues to do in us each and everyday.

This miracle, my Lord, that You did in me, I am lost for words to tell You how much I love You, how much I thank You for loving me so much, Your sacrifice for me, such a miracle to me.  And then love, forgiveness, favor.....miracles, all.  But now the new wine flowing through me, bringing with it the fruit of Your Spirit, turning the water into wine in my new wineskin, given wholly to You for Your use, to bless You and to bring You glory.  This 13th day of September, 2011, I am flowing in the spirit, my spirit that flows up and joins the Spirit of my Jesus as He continues to turn the water into wine.....turning me into His vessel....satisfying my every need as I yield to His need. 

MY DAILY BREAD

Matthew 6:11  "Give us today our daily bread."

The Lord's Prayer, I learned at an early age.  I thought this was the way I was to pray until some years ago when I learned it was the example, the way prayer should be; and yet it is also to be prayed as in groups of people uniting their prayer together, lifting up their hearts to the Lord.  But an example of how to put  my offering of worship and prayer to my Lord.

Today, as I was singing and worshiping with the song of the Lord's Prayer, the Holy Spirit spoke to me of the "daily bread".  Thinking always that this was a way of asking the Lord to provide food for me, the Holy Spirit's words truly touched my heart.  The Word tells us that the Lord promises us food and rainment.  We do not need to ask Him daily for food or clothes.  These are promises to us and the Lord never breaks a promise. 

Our daily bread.  The bread is the body of Christ, "take and eat all of it".  The body of Christ, our Savior, the Living Bread.  This is not a physical bread, but it is the very Bread of Life that is needed daily, each day, as we, who are in the Lord, cannot survive a day without the Bread of Life.  This precious gift, and it is a gift, paid for in full by the blood of the Lamb, our Savior, is what is necessary for each day's journey.  When we ask "give us today" we are asking for that Portion of what is necessary for that day's work, that day's ministering that the Lord would have us do, our work for Him.  It is His mercy, new each morning; His grace, given fresh each time we call to Him, needing more grace for the situation; His peace that needs to be present in us at all times and His love, that unconditional love that is unfailing, unfaltering, always poured out on us, in a constant rain from our Lord's throne room.

My Lord, I cannot live without the fresh Bread of life coming into me each day.  There is battle raging against me each day, Lord, You know the battles that rage against me, You had them come against You.  You showed me the way, You made a way for me to get through each day, no matter how difficult the journey, You have supplied the elements necessary for me to walk on that path that You set.  You have supplied the fresh mercies each morning, all sins and failures of the previous day, forgiven, cast aside; You have cleansed me with Your precious blood, and I emerge each morning, righteousness flowing over me and allowing me to go before the Father.  Grace flows down to me as I come into different circumstances during the day, grace needed for that moment, Your timing never wrong, just when it is needed, it flows through Your Holy Spirit to me.  Your peace surrounds me as this grace abounds, that peace that I will never be able to understand, but all I know is that it gives me such rest, such rest in You.  I can just lean back in my chair, the car, wherever I am when I need to have Your peace and just say Your precious Name......Jesus.....and the peace flows like a river over me.  And Your love, O my Lord, Your love; that sweet essense of Your love, coming to me in waves, never ending, like the waves of the sea, controlled by the tide; Your love controlled by Your passion for me.  And then it is all drawn together, Mercy, Grace, Peace, Love.....put together in an offering coming as a beautiful gift; above all the promises You gave me, these are a gift, from Your heart to me, filling my spirit, my entire being with the assurance that these gifts are mine forever.  They will not end.  I am Your worshiper, You are my adored Lord, who I love with all my heart.

And if this were not enough, if these blessings were not enough of a gift, You give me the most beautiful gift, the most precious "daily bread" of all......Your Presence.  Your sweet Presence that transcends me from earth to heaven in a moment's time; that makes any place I am a beautiful garden when You and I sit, where we talk, where You tell me of Your love for me and I give You my heart, again and again.  My Daily Bread, my Savior, my King.

This 12th day of September, 2011, I am filled, I am satisfied, I am blessed by the Daily Bread, the daily offering, the eternal gift of my beautiful Savior, my adored Lord, my Bridegroom.

PREPARATION FOR PRAISE

Psalm 138:8  "The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever....do not abandon the works of your hands."

My Lord, my God, how I love You.  Your Name thrills me when I hear it come out of my lips as it flows out of me with so much love and I know in my  heart how You are receiving this expression of my praise.  It was not always so, not as it is now.  I have loved You for a long time, but it was not with this deep, longing adoration that is so present in me day and night.  I cannot imagine my life without You, my King, without Your presence filling my home, filling the space around me constantly and filling my heart.  Your Glory surrounds me as I prepare to praise You, as I come before You to open my heart to You and ask You, once again, to look inside of me and see if there is anything that is unworthy of Your worshiper, unworthy of letting me come into Your presence.  Everything that is not of You has to be totally removed from me, I want no part of anything worldly when I come to You, when I offer up the praises from my heart, when I sing to You the new songs that the Holy Spirit has taught me, has drawn from me to praise You.  Only with a pure heart can I truly worship You, praise You like You deserve, as fitting from Your worshiper.

Dear Father, how I love to worship You.  You have touched my life in ways that some people could not understand.  You alone have given me new life, a totally new heart and eyes that see clearly Your Word, ears that can hear the slightest whisper when You say my name, when You tell me how much You love me.  Because You love me, because You have drawn me to Your side, to sit with You, to listen to Your sweet, beautiful voice.  Yes, I know, some will wonder if I have heard Your voice and the answer will not mean a lot to one that does not understand.  But my spirit hears Your voice, my spirit smells the sweet essence of Your love when You come near to me and translates that voice, that beautiful fragrance to my natural eyes and ears.  It becomes so real that I can sit in Your presence and just bask in the joy of Your Glory.

I honor Your presence, Lord.  I honor the glory that surrounds You.  I honor You, my King, with all my heart.  I always want to be prepared to praise You, my Lord.  I know if I just praise from my lips and not my heart You will hear me, I know You will accept the praise, as You are so worthy of all praise of the earth; but when the praise comes from my pure heart, humbled low before You in love, in adoration, then  my worship becomes that aromatic flow of sweetness that melts Your heart.  That love that touches You deeply, as You see the heart that is pouring herself out to You, giving of herself to tell You how You are adored, how You are welcome where ever she is.  That is me, Lord, You know that is me, as I worship; as I praise You.  You are my God, my Lord, my Father, my Pappa, my Redeemer, my King, my precious Jesus.  There is that sweet name again, Jesus.  I love Your name, Lord.  Jesus.

This day was a remembrance day, Father, of a day ten years ago that drove fear into the hearts of so many of Your children.  But You did not leave us for a moment, Your hand stayed on Your people and sustained us, protected us.  I thank You for Your touch, Your comforting touch, Lord, on all those who lost loved ones that day.  You are truly an awesome God as You give so much to those who do not praise You; You give to them and You wait for that day they too will call Your name once again.

This 11th day of September, 2011, I want to worship You, my Lord.  I want to praise You knowing You have prepared me for praise, for praise that goes only to You, my God.

THE KNOWING

Hosea 2:20  "I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness; and thou shall know the Lord."

Know that you know, know that you know.  How many times have you heard this phrase in a sermon?  I can remember hearing this so many times and yet, until you truly know, you do not know. 

My Lord, how long did You wait for me to truly know You?  I know it was a long time by my standards, and when I think of how long You patiently waited for me, waited for me to truly know You; all I can say is thank You, my Lord.  Thank You for not letting ne go and for loving me so much, You waited; You did not give me up for loss.  You slowly taught me, slowly showed me that I could trust You and You gave me reason after reason to trust You.  You comforted me, You supplied my needs, You gave me more grace and mercy than I knew possible.  And faith came,.  I always thought I had faith; I believed in You, loved You and knew You loved me.  But I only had part of the verse down.  You drew me into Yourself and faith developed, but I still did not truly know You.

Over the last year as You have taken me into Yourself so deeply, drawing me into such an intimate relationship with You, loving me, cherishing me, pouring out Your Spirit on me, day after day, night after night, never leaving me alone, just You and me, I began to see.  I began to see a God that put me in a type of cocoon, wrapped so tightly in Your love that it was no longer easy for the enemy to come in and give me any doubts of Your love.  I know You love me.  I know You are taking care of me in ways unknown to mortal man.  Spiritual envelopment, totally one with You, not letting me slip into any form of mind that is not of You. When the enemy comes, I know all I have to do is ask You to protect my mind, to put a shield around my mind, to let no thoughts contrary to Your Word enter there.

And now I can say I know that I know.  I have complete faith in You, my Lord. Total trust in my Lord, the God that created me to be His worshiper.  From the beginning of time You knew I would worship You, and You waited until You were my hearts desire, and then You closed the deal.  The covenant You made with me is completed, finished, and there is no breaking of what was placed in my heart; I will never go from You my God; Never.

I know You are my Redeemer, I know You are my Comforter, I know You are my Savior, I know You are my Shield and my Rock, I know You love me and I know You are my Bridegroom, Who will be returning for me one day soon.  This 10th day of September, 2011, this day, and forever, my Beloved Lord, I know that I know.

FRESH ANNOINTING

1 John 2:20  "But you have an annointing from the Holy One, and all of you know the truth."

Fresh annointing.....the words just kept coming to me tonight Lord, as I sold CDs that are, well, some of them 10 years old or more.  There is nothing old about the annointing.  When You bless, Lord Jesus, You bless continually.  When You annoint someone, when the blessing comes, it is always fresh.  Just as new mercies are fresh everyday, so is the annointing. 

I thank You, Father, that You annoint me with the fresh oil of the Holy Spirit.  The freshness of what You are doing now, this day; not having to live in what was back then, or what I wished it could have been, but an annointing for this season, for what You will have me do now, in You.  I feel Your annointing when I pray for others Lord.  Whether it is in person, or when I am home, alone, praying for those You put on my heart.  It is of You that the annointing comes, Your Spirit brings the annointing in Your timing, not any of my own. 

Fresh annointing, that sweet fragrant outpouring of Your Holy Spirit on me, on what You are doing in me.  I thank You my Father for Your faithfulness to give me what I need, at the right time of need; that You never leave me floundering alone when You send me to do something.  You set me on a course and You steer me in the right direction.  You are the wind in my sails, You never leave me; my strength and my wisdom comes from You alone. 

Father, I love You.  I thank You for the blessings You have poured out on me continually.  I thank You for tonight, for the fresh annointing of the Holy Spirit in the sanctuary; for the new songs of worship rising up to bless You.  It thrilled my soul to hear the beautiful worship rising up to glorify Your Name.  You are my God, I am so in love with You.  This 9th day of September, 2011, my spirit is rejoicing in the fresh annointing from You, my Lord, my Beloved.

THE ORPHAN COMPLEX

John 14:18  "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."

I know this is what I am to write about, but as I sit here, I am wondering just what the Holy Spirit is leading me to.  I know I became a orphan at 40 years old when both of my parents were killed in a house fire.  Strange, to feel orphaned at such an age, but I did.  Never going home again to sit with my folks and pretend for a few hours that I was still that girl, young and free of responsibilities, free of obligations, just a kid with her parents being taken care of.  But one day, that was over.  No more going home, no more leaning on my parents for advice, for guidance.

I floundered for two years after they died.  I quit my job and stayed home, did not much of anything except feel sorry for myself.  A grown woman, can you imagine, just shutting down.  My heart breaks for children who lose a parent, much less both of them. But so many children only have one parent to begin with, so they are partial orphans already.  We grow into this way of thinking, that we are not what we could be if we don't have that parental figurehead.  This is a secret tool of the enemy; one of his most prized weapons; leaving us thinking what we might have become had we not become orphans, what we do not become is a fault of our parents.  How each it is to place blame on someone that is not here with us.  What easy targets bereaved people, or young people are for the enemy, especially when he uses the lack of a parent to make us feel inadequate, failures, or less than what we could have been.

Our Lord has told us He would never leave us or forsake us.  We have a Heavenly Father that is a full Father and Mother to us.  A parent that will never leave us.  He takes full control of that area that is left void from lack of a parent either from the beginning of our lives or from what ever season we become orphans.  He has always been with us, from birth, but as we have our parents, even one, we do not realize who our Real Father is.  The Holiest of Holy, our God, the Creator of all we will ever know and so much more, has always been our Father.  But when our parents are alive, we don't always realize Who He truly is to us, as we have our parents to rely on.  I realize not everyone falls into this category, but if they were to be real honest with themselves, they will see this as some truth in their lives also.  So often we do not see our Heavenly Father as the Father He is until our parents are gone.  But as I said there are some exceptions to this.  I can only speak of my own life.

When I began to realize that God, my Heavenly Father, was taking care of me, was protecting me, comforting me, loving me so much; my eyes began to see the true picture.  A Heavenly Father, always there; truly the One that had been taking care of me all along, with my parents overseeing things here on earth, but He was the One that was the real Parent, always where I was, never leaving me.  A Parent that would never die, never walk away, never neglect, never harm.  My parents were wonderful, they always loved me dearly, always took care of me and my brother and sister; we were loved so much.  But how many parents do you read of, or know, that fit into those who walked away, neglected, harmed their children.  Our Lord, bless You, my Lord, takes these children, no matter the age, young or old, and holds them to Himself, restoring their souls, their spirits that have been trodden down, their bodies so misused, and begins to show them what real parenting is like.  It is so important that we show the love of our Father to all, so those who are hurting deep inside, orphaned by death or abandonment, see that they can be adopted into the family of our God, of a Father who loves them so much.

There is never a need to feel alone, to fall under the orphan complex, when we have a Father that is holding out His arms for us all to rush into.  He is waiting to show us all how special He thinks we are, what a difference we make in His life and the difference He would like to make in ours.  He wants to pour out His love onto us; He wants to heal our broken spirits; He is waiting to pour His balm of mercy and grace into our souls.  Beautiful Father, who holds us in His very hands, blowing sweet breaths of life into our entire being.  "Come, now my love," the Father says, "come, let me give you life in Me, let me restore your broken hearts, let me show you a Father's love".

As long as the enemy can keep you living in a orphan complex, you will never know the true love of our Heavenly Father, our Great God, the Ruler of Heaven and earth.  No matter whether you have your parents still or not, most of us suffer from the orphan complex.  It comes when ever we place blame on our parents for what we are not, for any lack they might have put out on us, their fault or not.  The enemy will use what ever small thing and blow it into a complete separation of our life from our parents.  Causing an orphan complex.    Only the true love of the Father can restore us, only He can restore relationships with parents, with siblings and other family members.  Only when we realize what real love is.  Real love is not about ourselves, it is about a flow of the Father's love through us.  When one tends to keep what they are given, like love from the Father; it this love is not transferred through us to others, it dies.  It will become complete dead weight in ourselves, as the Father's love is not meant to keep for ourselves, there is plenty to come back to us, but this love is intended to flow through us.  When His love flows through us, it causes life to begin anew in us; it fills us with such joy and peace, this love that stirs such emotion, such love for our Father to build up in us.  There is no need to try to hold His love within ourselves as if we do not let it flow out to others, He will give it to someone that will.  You will dry up, you will resume that orphan complex again.  Let His love flow through you.  Be a useful vessel; sharing His love and peace, His beautiful joy with others will make you part of the family of God, and you will never be orphaned again.  You will have a Father who will always be your Father, and you will have more family than you ever thought possible.  A family that loves you.

My precious Father, how I love You.  You have made me Your beloved child.  You have poured Your love through me to others and I have never felt so loved, so cared for.  I have a huge family that love me because we have a Father in common.  We are kin in You.  I worship You my Lord; I worship You for all my life, I am loved, I am loved by my wonderful Father in Heaven.  This 8th day of September, 2011, I am living a whole, wonderful life, in the most beautiful family of all; the Family of God, my Father.

THE DEEP TOUCH OF THE LORD

Psalm 42:7  "Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me."

My Lord, I can hardly take a breath without the overwhelming knowledge of my heart's passion for You.  Words of love rise up out of my mouth constantly and I can feel Your presence with me.  The Holy Spirit constantly warming me with Your love, with Your words of love, drawing me deeper and deeper into You, into Your presence.  I had no idea life could be like this, had I known, I would like to think I would have come to You sooner.  But part of me wonders if that would have happened with all that was going on.  There was a time that You had set to draw me to You, completely, without reservation, without any interference from outside matters, just me, just You.  An appointment in time, Your perfect time.  You have used all the things that happened prior to that time to bring glory to Your Name, to draw my attention to how You have sustained me, protected me, loved me and given me grace and mercy through those years, those days.

The shadow over my life has been lifted as Your Light has filled every part of me.  No longer is there any doubt when things seem to go crazy in my earthly walk as I know Who holds me in His hands, Who is watching over all that is going on, and I know Who has already known that this would take place; that You have prepared me for what will happen.  You have shown me Your faithfulness, Your passion for me, and I know You are not leaving me, no matter what I do, You will never leave me.  I will likewise never leave You, my King.  I know a day may come when I am told to deny You.  I am ready for that day; I will never deny You.  My heart, so deeply rooted in You, will never let those words rise out of me.  I can only stand and profess my eternal love for You, knowing that no matter what happens, I am with You, here on earth or in Your throne room.

Deeper and deeper I am drawn into Your Word, into the messages You have put there for me, for Your Bride.  I only have to look at a scripture, begin to read and You begin to show me what there is for me there, that special message that You put there so long ago and I never saw those messages until now.  But this is when You planned for me to have knowledge of Your Word, to know what Your love can do, to know what faith can build.  I have built a sanctuary for You, my Lord, built on the faith that You have brought me to with Your constant message of love and grace, with Your sweet presence keeping me each day close to You, deep in Your heart.

How marvelous is Your presence, my Lord.  How beautiful is Your touch.  What love.  Indescrible, Your love, Your touch, Your presence.  I have difficulty telling people how I feel as it is so hard to put into words, the feeling I get when I am drawn so deep into Your presence.  When You lift me from one place and spiritually show me another place, and then put me back; that is so hard to tell people that have never known that kind of relationship with You.  They don't understand how You can transport me out of myself to show me something You want me to understand, to write about.  I can only pray that one day soon they too, will know the deep touch, the beauty of Your presence, the magnitude of Your love.

My Lord, how I love You.  When I think of what You gave, the blood You shed for me, so I could experience this freedom in You, this deep, beautiful, intimate relationship with You.  I can only say, again and again, I love You my Lord, I love You, Jesus, my King, my Savior, my Beloved.

This 7th day of September, 2011, I am falling deeper and deeper in love with You, my Lord, and living deep into deep with You, loving Your sweet touch on my life, Your glorious presence. 

WHISPER JESUS

Revelation 3:11  "I am coming soon. Hold on to what you have, so that no one will take your crown."

How soon, my Lord, how soon are You coming.  I know You cannot tell me the answer to that question so many ask, and I don't mean to ask again, but I long for Your return.  My heart cries out for you, softly whispering Your name, all day, each night. Jesus, my Jesus, come, dear Lord, come.  My hope is in Your promise that You are returning, You are coming for me, Your Bride.  I know that Your Bride is so many but I look at Your return so personal, that it is for me, that I look for You constantly.

How great You are, my God.  How wonderful You are, how beautiful Your promises to me.  It is those promises I hold on to, that I will not let go of.  Letting go of Your promises, of Your Word, will be letting my crown be taken from me.  My crown is Your Word, Your promises, my redemption in You, all these encased in the crown You have given me.  To wear this crown, this beautiful crown on my head, shining with so many jewels, each one You have given to me for loving You, for worshiping You alone, for giving my complete life to You, my King.  But I gladly give it back to You, my Jesus, I lay my crown at Your feet for only You are worthy of such beauty, such honor, just You, my Lord.

As I whisper Your beautiful Name, sweet Name of Jesus, my heart fills with such love, such expectation.  I expect Your return my Lord.  As I see others around me, living their lives as though Your Word is just a book of some future they will not see in their time, it saddens me that they are losing so much, losing the wonderful life in You they could be having.  They are missing out on the blessings You bestow on those that love You so much.  At the whisper of Your Name, peace surrounds me like a cloud, Your presence pouring peace and love over me like a tidal wave, heavy enough to saturate me but soft enough to hold me steady in its waves of color, radiating off the crown of life You have given me.  Darkness tries to come over me and once again, I whisper Jesus, and Your Light pushes out the heavy veil of darkness that the enemy tries to put over me like a shroud.  It cannot hold me as Your Light comes piercing like an arrow through the veil, releasing my spirit into Your joy, into Your Glory, Your Presence.

I stopped writing for a little while, my Lord, just to worship You, how great You are my Lord.  How worthy You are.  So worthy to receive all my praise, all my worship.  You are a great, great God.  No where can I find a love that thrills my soul, fills my heart with such joy and contentment. Great is my Lord, my King, my Jesus.  I will never stop worshiping You my Lord, that would be releasing that hold on my crown of life.  You are the reason for the crown I wear, the crown You have given me, it is all of You, my crown is.  My crown is Your loveliness, Your goodness, Your love for me.  My crown shines with the reflection of Your glory, the purity of Your Word, and the essense of Your love.  The sweet, fragrance of Your love filling my crown.  And this crown You place on me, literally, each time I whisper Jesus, my Beloved.  I know joy fills Your heart when You hear me whisper Your Name with love and adoration.  I will always love You, my Lord.

When I whisper Your Name, crying Holy are You my Lord, I feel Your arms surround me.  I will always whisper Your Name in our intimate times when it is just You and I, when I know You are here to share love with me, visit with me, walk with me.  This 6th day of September, 2011, I am whispering the Name of my precious Bridegroom.....Jesus.....Jesus.....Jesus.....come, Lord Jesus, come.