Jeremiah 17:14 (Message) "God, pick up the pieces. Put me back together again. You are my praise!"
Lord, I can remember praying for You to put me back together like I was before I failed You. Failed myself. It seems like a long time ago, and then it seems like yesterday. Time plays such a game with us. It goes by so fast, but holds it's memories of long ago in present time. How forgetting these things would be a blessing. But the enemy makes sure they stay in our mind. That is his playground. Our mind.
My mind takes me back to the days I walked boldly by myself, perhaps I should say foolishly by myself. I turned away from my true Love and assured You I could do this myself. I could decide for myself, make good decisions, did not need help, thank You. What foolishness this was. And You, my Lord, You just let me go. You knew, as You already knew I would do this, and You already knew the outcome. But You let me go, and just waited. One bad choice after another. The terrible part of this is that for a long while I did not realize what bad choices they were. The enemy has such a smooth way of making you think you are doing so good; after a while starting to drop things off, shaving off one thing after another, joy, peace, love...all the things you once had, now gone. No real rest as there was worry, stress, unhappiness. Each day a repeat of the day before. All the good times I thought I was having slowly being stripped away. See that is what the enemy does; makes things seem so wonderful and once he has pulled you from the Father, he starts slowly letting things unfold, letting you fall into his pit a little at a time until there you are. This is where I ended up. In his pit. So deep, so dark, all the light gone from my heart, my eyes, my soul.
But God. My God, whose love never wavers, always loving, always waiting. My God heard my cry and came to me. Lord, I cried, I cannot do this on my own. He listened. I told my Lord, I was wrong, I did need His help, His deliverance from my sin. I knew He heard me, I could feel His Spirit begin to fill my soul, my heart. His Spirit stirring in me, showing me my sin, showing me where I needed forgiveness, giving me courage to confess my sin to the Lord. Yes, the Lord knew my sin, but I needed to communicate with Him, vocally tell Him what I had done, and He listened, He loved me, He forgave me.
I would have been happy with just the love of my Father; I would not dare ask for favors, it was wonderful enough to just be forgiven, loved and restored in His fellowship. But God is not like that. He had so much more to give me. He patched me up, fitted my broken heart with a new lining of righteousness, gave my mind restoration knowledge of His glory, His power, His deliverance; and my soul was restored with joy and peace. I became refurbished, a refurbished vessel for His use. The Lord showed me that nothing could not be repaired, and once repaired became better than new, as the walls of the restored vessel had strength from the lessons learned in breaking my will, the walls had pillars of wisdom in what my God was all about, and the walls were covered in unconditional love that could never be tarnished. Then He filled me with His love, His grace and His mercy, renewing each day, never running out, never running dry. He then gave me a new life, a new walk with Him. I came into a new day in my life, full of God's direction, God's plans.
Do you feel like you have taken a wrong turn and dropped out of sight of God's love and protection. You are not out of His line of sight, He is only out of yours. Call out to Him, He will come quickly as He has waited for your call. You can become like me, refurbished with God's love and mercy, pieced back into a vessel for His use, for His calling. We are not failures in God's eyes, only in ours. He has always know what we would do, and we do not fail Him. We get lost in ourselves, in the world we live in. But He is there to pull us to Him, to begin again with us, we, never losing sight of the fact that He is our Maker, He is God, He is in control.
Lord, as I surrended back to You then, those years ago, I surrender again each day to You. I want to surrender my will afresh each day to You, making sure nothing has entered my mind that would cause a separation of me and You again. I surrender all, all of me to You. My will to Yours, my heart to Yours, my spirit so enveloped into Yours. I love you. I will be the worshiper You taught me to be, I love to worship you Lord. It is what I do best, as I love You so much. You are a great God, there is no one like You my Lord. No one can take Your place in my heart, I will be only yours. I need Your presence Lord, I need You every minute of every day. You are so worthy of all my praise. My heart will sing to You, I will worship You with my whole heart. My lips will cry out Your worthiness and majesty to all.
I love you, my God, and am humbled before You, this 1st day of February, 2011.
No comments:
Post a Comment