Psalm 61:4,5 (Message) "You've always given me breathing room, a place to get away from it all, a lifetime pass to your safe-house, an open invitation as your guest. You've always taken me seriously, God, made me welcome among those who know and love you."
Do you ever feel like you are living two lives. One where you have a perpetual smile on your lips, just always being joyful and happy; and the other, where you are feeling okay, but just tired, it being nice to just be yourself with the Lord. Take a moment and think about this. I am a happy person, I do smile a lot and usually am on top of everything, but there are those times when I would like to stay closed in, get away from everyone and everything and climb on the Father's lap and stay there for a while, just held away from all the cares of the world; all the matters of daily life.
When you are alone, just yourself, some days it gets difficult to carry on all by yourself. No one to share the day with, unless you call a friend, but then, you know they are busy with family, their lives, so you do not call. You just go from day to day.
Now before you get to feeling sorry for me, don't. I am blessed beyond all imagination. I could never have known the Lord would take care of me this way. He has not let one thing slip by that would concern me. But some days, things get overwhelming. I do not have the most fun job in the world and some days when I am forced to do the less likable things on my job, it can be disheartening for me. I do nice, I do loving, I do kindness. It is hard for me to be otherwise. But on any job, when you manage an office, there are those times you must do "all" the portions of the work, no matter how it goes against what you are made of. I do, however, temper everything I do with God's love, but it is still difficult at times. I do know God has me there to share His love with others, so I am working for Him; and He knows there are times my job is difficult for me to do. But He gives me strength to do all of my job.
It is these days, I just want to get away from it all. Go to my safe-house where I know I am always welcome; always treated as though I was just the one that was expected. I imagine I was expected though as the Lord always knows before we do what we will need. I just get away, go to my Father's guest house and stay awhile. I stay while He loves on me, listens to me, gives me direction for the next day. God loves me, He actually thinks I have some worthwhile ideas, some good thoughts. He indulges me, I believe. I can see Him smiling at me, as I tell Him my ideas, what I think about things. See, when you focus your thoughts and love on the Father, all those ideas and thoughts come with His attributes on them. That is why He smiles. He knows I get it. I have finally gotten what He has wanted me to have. A heart and a mind centered on Him and those thoughts, that love coming out of me, glorifying Him.
While I am sitting on my Father's lap, resting in Him, I just sing, I talk, I am silent; it is so peaceful, so restful. The sweet, sweet presence of my God, enveloping me as I sit there breathing Him in, perfect peace. How I love my Lord, what delight I find in Him, no place I would rather be, just being me. He lets me be just me. I don't have to smile all the time, I don't have to do anything but be the child He loves, just me being me. I can remember times when He would not have been so pleased to have me be me. But that was before, before decision time. Decision to give Him complete control, pour myself into His will, give Him my all. Now I just live for Him, give Him all my love, all my worship, yes, I know He is pleased with me, just me.
I don't want you to think I think I am perfect; far from it. I am like most of God's children, we try to please Him always, but we are human and there are times when I feel the prick of the Holy Spirit, letting me know I just did or said something that I needed to ask my Father to forgive me for. I am so thankful there are none of those things He cleansed out of me anymore, but there are still things I do not want to be doing or saying. I don't want to be thinking badly of anyone; I don't want to judge anyone; the enemy always trying to input some thought in my mind. My God, how I need Your protection over my mind constantly, years of bad habits trying to rear up; but I know in You, Lord, I can be victorious over these things. With Your help, Your counsel. I never want to let anything cause a disturbance in the flow from You to me and me to You. Nothing, ever again to separate me from You.
As I am surrounded by Your presence, my Holy God, my Lord of All, the Giver of Life to me, I want to tell You of the love I have for You, I honor You, I glorify You. You are everything to me. You are the reason I can do what You have me do. I know I do not have to do anything to get You to love me. You love me freely; but it because of that free, unconditional love You give me, that I want to live my life for You. Just for who You are. Who You have made me to be; in Your likeness, with Your spirit in me.
I think I am ready now, Father, to go back. Once again, I have loved being in Your guest house, enjoying the sweet rest. I have new direction for tomorrow now, and will be ready to go to work in the morning; a smile relaxed upon my lips, Your love glowing out of my eyes, and Your words of encouragement for someone in need. Thank You, my God, I am refreshed once again by what You offer anyone who comes looking for a refuge in You; Your special rest. Only place that rest can be found and that is in You.
This day, the 2nd day of February, 2011, finds me rested and blessed in my Lord.
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