Psalm 19:12-13 “Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults. Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. Then will I be blameless, innocent of great transgression.”
I was thinking about some things that we discussed at church last night. We were talking about the cleansing power of the blood of Jesus, the cleansing of sins, forgiveness and how the enemy has no claim over us bringing to mind our past sins.
The Lord was showing me some things concerning this today. When we repent and ask His forgiveness, He is gracious to us, loving to us and forgive us our sins. But I don’t believe that completes the forgiving process. I remember asking the Lord to forgive me my sins, repenting completely in my heart when I asked the Lord to take me and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. But then for a long time after that I was so drug down by my sins. I knew I had been forgiven but I could not let go of the guilt, the burden of what I had done. I don’t even think the enemy had much to do with it, I was just so overwhelmed at the things I had done, how I had grieved the Father, grieved the Holy Spirit. Never did I realize I was still grieving Them. My precious Lord brought this to my attention when He asked me, “Are you better than I? Are you greater that I?” I was struck down by this accusation from the Lord. I quickly told Him, never would I think such a thing. I would never think I was better or greater than my Lord. I could not imagine why He would ask me something like that. My Lord was quick to tell me what He meant.
The Lord told me that He had forgiven me all my sins when I repented and asked Him to cleanse me completely. And He said this forgiveness was for all sin I had done, all I would do. I was completely His. He would forgive all past, present and future sins as I would be repenting daily asking for cleansing. The Lord told me by not letting go of the past, the sins that I had been forgiven by Him for, I was putting myself as one higher than He that could not forgive my sins. He told me if He, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the Great I Am could forgive me, who was I not to forgive myself.
I had never thought of this. Here I was shaming myself still for letting my Savior down when I sinned, for hurting the Holy Spirit with my sin, still racking myself over the coals for the things I had done, the time wasted in my life when I was not worshiping my Lord, just everything I had not done right causing more sin in my life. I was judging myself when I had nothing to judge, it had all been forgiven and forgotten by my Lord. There was nothing left to forgive, I had been cleansed. The slate was wiped clean. Mind, heart, soul washed white as snow by the blood of my Savior. I was forgiven. Past, present, future. Forgiven.
The process was not finished as I had to let it go. I had to put it away just as my Lord had done. Forgive myself. Lift my head up, look into my Lord’s eyes and see the love He was showing towards me, look in the mirror and smile at myself with love for myself as I was loved by the Lord, I was lovable, ready to be loved by myself. The Lord showed me when He loves us so much, we are to be loved by ourselves also. Be liked by ourselves. I had to finish the forgiveness process. I was forgiven by the Most High God, who was I not to follow that beautiful pattern of forgiveness and not forgive myself. And so I did. I just let the love and grace of my Master flow over me, I let His peace come into my being, my soul was like a sponge soaking up that beautiful peace, that quietness that went into me; all the shame and dislike, hatred was replaced by such an unmistakable joy, the perfect joy of the Lord.
When you look into the mirror, if you are not liking what you see in your eyes, take a deep look inside of yourself. Are you hiding some things inside? Do you have layers of unforgiveness of yourself. That would be a great transgression. If you have repented of these sins to the Lord, know that He loves you and has forgiven you. There is nothing that He sees in you that is not righteous now. You also need to let it go, forgive yourself, remove all shame of yourself from your eyes, begin to love in yourself what the Lord loves, that would be everything. He loves everything about you, in you. He made you what you are. He loves what He made, you are forgiven, you are cleansed by the blood of the Lamb, you are righteous in His eyes. Let His beautiful peace flood your soul and let His joy enter your being and just pour all over you until you cannot contain it and let it peal out of you in beautiful, free, chain breaking laughter. You are free of sin. The forgiveness process is completed, completed in the love and grace of the Lord.
My precious Lord, how I love You. I pray my Lord that these words You gave me tonight will set my brothers and sisters free from the sin of unforgiveness of themselves. You have set me free, my Lord, to love. You are everything to me, Lord, and I glorify Your Holy Name. This 12th day of May, 2011, I am complete. I am complete in You.
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