EXTENDING A HAND

Luke 1:50  "His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation."

Mercy extended from the Lord to us, those of us who fear him, in righteousness, not terror.  Fearing the Lord not from a point of fearing for our lives, as that is not our Lords intent, but fearing the Lord with reverence and respect, honoring His Name, honoring His Holy Word, loving the Lord and yielding your will to His for your life.  His mercy given to us, not deserving by us, but because He loves us so and wants to draw us to Him, to give us everything He has, blessing us abundantly.  Our precious Lord, there are no words for Your glory, for Your just manner in dealing with me; so unworthy but so loved by You.  Yes, my Lord, I know what I am to do with the mercy You extend to me.

Mercy extended from the Father is mercy that should flow through us, just as His love is intended to flow through us.  We cannot sit at the Lord's feet and receive His mercy and forgiveness without extending that to others. If someone has wronged us, caused us pain, we are to forgive, extend the mercy of the Lord into that life, flooding them with wonderment at the love that flows along with the mercy.  It will cause this person to be filled with the Lord's mercy and flow from them to another, until mercy is being given throughout this earth.  From one to another, extending the mercy of the Lord, forgiving each other, loving each other.  The enemy will be watching, you can be sure, to see if one who has received mercy, forgiveness and love fails to extend it to another.  The enemy will be on you so fast you will not be able to catch your breath.

Well, I did not thing I would go here tonight, but I should know better.  When something like this is brought to my attention by the Father, I know it will appear here, on these pages.  Today, I saw a You-tube posting that was on my FB wall, a news investigation into several ministries that the government in looking into, for the wealth that is accummulated there.  Several big ministry names were being investigated as to what they spend the money on that is given by God's children for their ministries.  The news showed big houses, fine cars, lear jets....well, it went on and on.  As I watched this, I did not feel any contempt for these ministries, it is not in me to do that.  I did not begin to judge what I saw, as I was really not surprised.  I had heard a lot of this before, but now the government is digging into it, into several top ministries.  I could see the hand of the enemy all over this.  Oh, satan could care less about the news, he could care less about what the government does with this, but what he cared about was the thousands of people watching these news reports, these short videos spreading everywhere.  He was watching to see which ones would get so offended by the news as to decide they would no longer give money to any ministry, to any church, and perhaps not go to church anymore as it would appear they just took your money and used it for their own goals.  You see, in all the reports I have seen, not once have they shown lives saved, sermons preached, people healed, mininstry going all over the world to reach out, to extend a hand to the hungry for food, the thirsty for water, and through feeding them, also filled a hunger for the Word of God, a thirst for the Living Water of the Lord.  No where did you see how, no matter what they did with a lot of money, no where did you see what the Lord used them to do, to further the Kingdom of God.  And you will not see that.  That is not what the enemy wants all over the evening news.

I have to admit, it grieves me horribly, knowing that the enemy will use this for all his worth, to cause a number of the children of God to stumble, to fall.  But I know the Word of God, and He says He will take care of those that cause this, not He will let me do it.  He Will.  Only God.  And who am I to think I am worthy to judge anyone.  No, you will not find me placing myself up as judge.  For the Word of God also says to touch not His annointed.  Now I know this means physically, but in doing so by word or thoughts, by judgment, I can also cause someone else to stumble, thus making me responsible also.  And then, I am there, on that same step in front of my Lord on judgment day to explain my behavior.  So, thank you, but no, I will not be doing that.  I will leave the things of the Lord, the people that the Lord has placed in these places, to Him.  He does not need me to mess in His business.  I need to take care of the place He has put me, and to make sure the people He has given in my care, see only His love and mercy, His grace and goodness as He pours it through me to them.  I will not let them see me making judgments on anyone, much less someone in His ministry. 

So I will extend a hand in love to all those coming under attack by the enemy.  I don't know their stories, I don't walk in their shoes, but if I did, I would like to know that there were God's children praying for me, extending a hand in love, and mercy to me; knowing that the truth of things would probably never surface, just trusting the Lord to do what is right, to extend mercy and justice on everyone involved.

Thank you, my Lord, this last day of another month gone by, the 31st of May, 2011, as I feel Your presence, Your love and mercy on me; let me always extend a hand, extend through me from You to all those needing a touch from You.

CAPTURING HIS PRESENCE

Philippians 3:10-11  (Message)  "I gave up all that inferior stuff so I could know Christ personally, experience his resurrection power, be a partner in his suffering, and go all the way with hinm to death itself.  If there was any way to get in on the resurrection from the dead, I wanted to do it."

What is there about the worldly aspects of life that have people so confused about the Lord, about His love for all?  There is black and there is white.  Where the Lord is, there is no grey.  It is one or the other.  I have found that in order to truly seek after my Lord, I had to make a choice.  In the beginning it was not easy, as I was concerned about stuff.  How foolish I find it now, that I felt that way. It had to go.  It was not important.   Now I wonder why I ever bothered with it at all.

I went to the movies yesterday afternoon.  Saw Pirates of the Carribean (new one).  Jack Sparrow had not changed, the movie was okay, but halfway through it I found myself crying.  The movie is not overly sad, as this movie goes, but my eyes were running with tears.  My spirit was crying and as I thought to myself, "what is it Lord, that I cannot enjoy a movie? Is there something wrong with me?"  There is nothing wrong with me, and there is nothing wrong with going to a movie.  I would have a problem with a movie with a lot of language or explicitity in it; just can't do that. But there is nothing wrong with enjoying movies. And I am sure I will again.  But at this time, now, I found my spirit drawing me spiritually back to my Lord. 

So much of my time at home, at work, in my car, everywhere is spent worshiping the Lord.  At work, it is more mentally and spiritually than actually out loud, but there is worship and prayer going up constantly.  I believe that where I am right now in my walk with the Lord, I want so much to access His throne room, to draw His presence to me, to capture His presence.....holding Him here with me as long as possible, that I find it hard to do anything that takes me away from the Word and from worshiping my God. 

As I pursue the presence of the Lord, it takes me on a different level. There is no longer the level of a short prayer, a little worship and going into the presence of the Lord.  At times, it is just that simple.  But I believe to totally capture His presence, you must go deeper than that. I have begun to study, study and study some more the Word of my God.  I want to know exactly what He is saying to me, personally, in these scriptures.  There is a personal message for each of us that are seeking the Lord to be found in the scriptures of His Holy Word.  The Lord has told me He has a plan for me, for my life and I know I need to search His Word for access to that plan, for understanding of the plan, what He has and what He wants me to do.  There is a plan for each of us, carefully detailed in His Word.  When you study the Word and come across the plan that is designed for you specifically, the Holy Spirit will quicken your spirit and heart and let you know you have begun to find the words that pertain to you personally.

So I am seeking the Lord's will for me; running after Him without hesitation, without fear, without reservation.  I know there is nothing to fear in my Lord, His will for my life will contain a perfect plan for the beginning, the working of the plan, and the end of it, the end of it being enthroned with Him in eternal glory in Heaven.  I cannot let anything hinder me from giving Him all of me, everything that is in me, nothing held back.  I intent, fully intent to capture His presence, to hold Him to me for as long as I can.  I know that the more I pour into my pursuit of Him, the more that I gather His attention to me, the more I please Him, the more He will desire to spend time with me.  If I put all my desire into Him, He will desire me as well.  As I devote more and more of my time to studying His Word, to worshiping Him with all my heart and spirit, and to prayer, lifting up my words to Him, my petitions; as I glorify Him, give Him the praise He is so due, loving on Him, reaching up, desiring to touch His face, to see His face.....when He sees that I am completely His, then He will be completely mine....I will have captured His presence....my heart's desire.

This 30th day of May, 2011, my spirit has me sitting at the feet of my beautiful, wonderful, Lord; singing songs of worship, telling Him of my love, totally captivated in the presence of my King.  I in Him and He in me.

THE GARDENER

John 15:1  "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener."

So many people down south are begining to harvest their gardens.  But I was thinking about this weekend, Memorial Day and remembering when we lived in South Dakota.  I had decided I would plant a garden as I did not know where we could get home grown tomatoes and cukes if we did not grow them ourselves. Being new to the area, and it being small, I did not think they would have farmer markets there.  So I decided to get planting.  When I mentioned it to a neighbor, she told me that I could not plant yet, I had to wait until after Memorial Day as that was the first day we could probably count on no more frost and extreme cold weather.  I had to wait until it was time.....I had to prepare properly. 

My Lord Jesus is the true vine, the Father is the gardener.  I can learn a lot just here from my Beloved Jesus.  He is the true vine, we are the branches.  He is the supplier of what we need to grow strong and be fruitful through Him.  He supplies all the nutrients needed through His Word.  Strength, encouragement, Living Water, correction, joy, peace, protection.  He gives what we need, and if we take what is given to us, we can grow and bear much fruit.  There is a process involved each new season however, just as in my garden.  Pruning time.  All plants need pruning to continue to be fruitful, as they grow limp, the ends of the branches becoming grown over, calloused, hardened.  Once these are cut back, new growth will begin and the branch is brought back to new life.  The Lord prunes us in somewhat the same manner.  We tend to grow accustomed to things, letting things just kind of slide over us instead of noticing that it is not right; you ever laugh at something because everyone else is laughing and all the while knowing it is not funny?  Well, that is being calloused, hardened.  Your heart has lost the sensitivity, the sweetness of the Lord.  We seem at times to just fall back into old routines instead of the new life we have been led to by the Lord.  Ease back into old habits with the prompting of the enemy that it is really okay.  As long as our heart is in the Lord and our spirit seeking Him, He can prune all that off of us and restore us to the new life we were given. If we allow this pruning, it is an easy process.  But if we fight it, try to delay it, or excuse our behavior, it can become quite painful to us and grievous to our Lord.

If we fight it too long, our spirits will begin to wither, to die from the lack of true fellowship with the Father; the Holy Spirit will withdraw and our lives will become as dead.  There is no continual flow of the beautiful relationship that we had with the Father.  My God, please, prune away at me.  I cannot even allow the thought of this coming into my spirit, it would break my heart to be away from You for any time at all.  Let the process take off anything that is not of You, anything that would grieve You, or cause me to not receive Your blessings.  Without that continual flow from Your Spirit to mine, what good is anything.  I cannot live without You in my life.  I cannot live without Your heart connecting to mine, without Your presence with me daily.  So my precious Father, please walk into Your garden, come to the beautiful One, the True Vine, and prune the branch that I am.  Cut it back until all that is left is a living vessel that soaks up all the Living Water that flows from the Vine, the branch that draws nutrients from the Vine that are necessary for living the life of my Lord.  There is nothing in me that will draw away from Your shears, I will not hide from the process, I openly and willing give myself unto You for any correction, any refining that You deem necessary to protect my life from falling away, from dying off the vine.  I love You, my Father.

I want to bear fruit for You, my Lord.  When the Father looks at You and sees me a part of You, I want You to be able to look at me and smile, while telling the Father to look at the fruit on Your branches, look what we are producing.  I want to be doing the will of my Father, as You have taught me to do.  Your Word has instructed me as to how to be what You want me to be, how to bear good fruit, how to not waste anything that You have given me in order to spread the word of Your love, Your forgiveness and Your redemption.  You want me to use what You have produced in me to produce in others.

What a place I am in.  The Presence, the Holy Presence of my God.   My Lord, You are so holy, so very holy.  Who am I that You would invite me into Your presence.  I am so blessed, I, who You have loved back to life, to who You have given so much, and all I can give You in return is my love, my devotion, my life.  It is Yours my God, all Yours.  I will worship You with all my life, all that is in me, each day, all day, until You come for me, my Lord.  This 29th day of May, 2011; I am in awe of a Holy God.  I am in the Presence of my beautiful Lord.

THE AUCTION BOX

1 Peter 1:24,25   "For, All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the Word of the Lord stands forever."

For three and a half years, my husband and I lived in South Dakota in a small town 45 miles from Rosebud Reservation.  We had gone there as he had a call from the Lord to minister to the Dakota Sioux Native Americans.  We stayed until his health was such he could not tolerate another winter there.  But while we were there, in that small town, 1 1/2 hours away from the what you would call a larger town, Pierre.  Anyway, there was not much in the line of things to do, one movie house, one screen, showed the same movie for about 2 weeks......and auctions.  The auctions were sad I thought, as these were held when folks had passed away and their children had no use for these things or the folks were moving south to warmer weather, but what ever the reason, all these things were sold.  The auctioneers would put multiple things in boxes, smaller items, books, sort things out that way; and the boxes would be lined up.  You would bid on a box and if no one wanted it, another boxed was pulled into it.  I once purchased over 10 boxes for two dollars.  But it was a lot of fun and we got a lot of old things that we enjoyed.  I have three boxes of old cameras...that sort of thing.  But then we packed up and came home.  Some of the boxes were still unopened in the garage.  When I had my garage sale, I found the auction box.  Inside were some very old greeting cards and post cards from the later 1800s and early 1900s.  Then I found the Bible.  It is in almost pristine condition for its age, binding still intact.  Some of the cover pages a little dry around the edges, but the inscription inside reads Nov. 12, 1876.  The Word of God from so long ago, still the same as now, except in the older translation.

Never changing, the Word of God stands.  I want to read it but I do not want to cause anything to tear, and the print is so small, but everything is readable. The only thing faded is the inscription.  Inside the front cover was a small flag with 42 stars.  I will be going back and see when this flag was our flag, trying to see when it was placed in the Bible.

As I was thinking about the Bible, I thought about the Holy Spirit, and I truly feel He intended for me to find the Bible again.  I can see Him wondering when I would actually look inside the box again to see the Bible.  I saw it when we had the garage sale, but was busy and put it away.  Today I looked inside the box again and took the Bible out and looked at it, really looked at it.  It is old, very old to my standards.  But time has not diminished the words in it, all the scripture is still very readable, so very true in its content.  I know that the Lord changes nothing in His Word, it was written to give us instruction and hope, encouragement and peace, from the first Bible written to all the newer translations we have today.  God's Word, still the most important book ever written.  The very living Word of God.  The Word that comes alive when read by the seeker of God.   The one who longs to draw near to the Lord, who wants that relationship with Him that cannot be found unless you study His Word, to learn about our Lord, to truly understand His thoughts, His will for our lives.  Studying His Word so that we can learn how the Lord wants us to live, and how to do this very thing, how to live according to that very Word, the spoken Word of God.  Someone who is in despair, troubled or ill, can pick up this precious Word and find words of encouragement, words of love, words that will heal their wounded spirit, their sick soul; words that will bring life and restoration to them. 

How I love Your Word, my God.  I use to spend so much time reading everything but Your Word, and now I cannot read anything but the Word of my Lord.  I seek You through this precious Word, I seek Your will for my life; I find You between the lines of scripture, my Lord; You are there from the beginning to the end, always the same, with the same message coming forth.....You love me, You love me, You love me.  This beautiful message, the words giving me newness of life through Your mightly and unconditional love for me.  Your love.  Your Word.

And now, years after the purchase of the auction box, I am gifted once again with this precious Bible, Your Holy Word, published so long ago, but with the never changing message....You love me, You love me, You love me.  This 28th day of May, my Lord, I consecrate myself to You, to Your Word, and to Your love.  I love You, dear Lord, I love You, I love You, I love You. 

HIS ALL FOR MY ALL

Ephesians 3:17b-19    "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long, and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge...that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

I was reading a devotional today that was talking about having all of God.  Everything that God offers, taking full advantage of all His blessings, every bit of what He wants to give His children.  But there was a catch.....you had to exchange your all for His all.  The only way to receive "all" of God was to give Him "all" of me.  I reread that, it was a short devotional, but what a powerful word.  

When we truly come to acknowledge the depth of the love that Jesus has for us, of the immensity of His sacrifice for us; this cannot come about in a real way without your heart just opening wide and fully knowing Jesus and loving with all your heart.  There is no way you can come to the realization of His love, how endless His love is for us and not love Him with all your being.  This is how I feel.  I could hardly get by Easter as I was so torn every time I thought of my Savior being beaten, ridiculed and mocked....and when I think of how He took my sin, all our sins, became sin for our sake, causing His Beloved Father to turn His back on this precious Son, the pain and sorrow that fell to both of them for that time, there is no way my love for Jesus does not grow to such depths inside of me.  It is almost like a bursting feeling in my soul, in my heart, loving Him so much.  Jesus did all this, died, descended into hell and rose again giving us victory with Him over all hell held, all hell meant for sinners as He had made the way for our forgiveness from the Father, making possible a relationship with our Father.

Jesus wanted to make certain that there was no limit to what we could gain through a real relationship with the Lord God.  He gave us the power, the strength; He gave us the Holy Spirit to guide, to help us, to show us the way to the Father, to pray for us, to convict us, making us acceptable to the Lord.  My God has so much He wants to give me, He has such plans for us all, wanting to bless us abundantly with all the riches He has stored up for us.  There is no end to what He wants to do for us, His children.  But don't you know some folks that are real hesitant about what they want to receive.  I know folks on disability for injuries or illnesses that have people praying for their healing, only to be thinking, if I am healed, I will lose my disability.  Never a thought that if the Lord heals you, He will provide for you as well.  The Lord knows what is involved with every aspect of our lives.  He leaves nothing unturned.  But this happens all the time.

There are those that want to draw near to the Lord only to think about what they will have to give up if they do, so they stay in that shallow water, receiving just the crumbs from His table.  So sad, isn't it.  I want all of what my Lord has for me.  I don't want to be left out of any blessing He has planned for my life.  There is nothing as important to me as my relationship with God, with my Jesus, the precious Holy Spirit.  It doesn't matter what it means giving up, for those things are not important.  So much I have put aside, as it took from my time spent with the Lord.  I find the time I spend in the Word so refreshing to me, to my day.  I can come home from such a busy, hectic day at work, to find a peace, a joy in the Word of my Lord.  Everything I need to soothe away the strain of the day comes to me from His Word.  As I just release myself to Him, giving Him all the glory of what He has done through me that day, I can feel His arms go around me, drawing me close and giving me that quiet peace, and here I find what really matters to me, His love, His presence enveloping me, giving me such joy.

His all for my all.  The Lord wants me committed to Him.  He wants to know that I am completely His, that I am not in it for a short time, or just in only to receive a partial piece of Him.  No, that is not my way at all.  I have never been one that was satisfied for just a part of something that was for me.  I want every bit of what is mine.  And I know the Lord is my God, He is mine and I want all that He has for me.  So I give Him, yesterday, today and tomorrow all that I am, all that is within me and all that He is making me to be.  I have always been His, since the day He breathed life into me.  Always.....I got lost for a while. But He drew me back to Him, loved me back.  You see, we were His at the beginning, He created us to be what we are in Him, not what we are in the world, but what we are in Him.  Begin to see yourself as He does.  Don't listen to what the enemy says you are.....defeated, sinful, ugly, not worth it, poor, wretched; why would you listen to someone who has the reputation for lying, and is in such disgrace himself.  Close your ears to such discouraging words.  Those are not the words from our Lord, and you will not hear words like that from real Godly people.  The people that truly love the Lord will encourage you, love you.  So see yourself as God made you to be, as He sees you, as He loves you.  If you do not know what the Lord thinks about you, get into the Word and you will see the Lord's love, His intentions towards you, His plans for you.

My all, Lord, my all.  I give myself to You for eternity, to guide, to use for Your glory and as I worship You, my God, see in my heart my total love for You.  I am sold out, Lord, to You.  I want my life to reflect the Savior whose love is boundless without end.  I want to love as Jesus loves, I want to give as Jesus gives and Father, this 27th day of May, 2011, I want to love You as Jesus does.  I give You my everything, my all for Your all.  I am so blessed by You, my God, so blessed.

PRAY FOR ME, PLEASE

James 5:16 (Message)  "Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed.  The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with."

I don't ask people to pray for me very much.  I use to, but I find that unless there is something really put out there by the enemy, I don't.  A week or so ago, I asked for prayer for protection here at home as a neighbor had seen someone looking in the window, or trying to, when I was not home.  He was chased away, another neighbor called and reported it to the police. But I asked for prayer, prayers went up to the Lord and I have had no stranger around since.  I was not worried that night, as I knew the enemy would want that, and more than that, I knew the Lord was holding me close, protecting me. 

Other than that, I don't ask much for myself.  I am so blessed by my Lord.  I guess I feel like being so blessed, and there are so many that have real needs, health, finances; so many things, that I should not be bothering with my little problems.  And I am not sure problems is the right word.  I don't consider having problems, just day to day things that all encounter.  But today, the Lord showed me that my concerns for my daily life, the things I am doing and needing, are important to Him.  He told me that His plans for each of us to pray for one another not only benefits the other person but edifys us also.  The Lord showed me that the things I feel are not as important as other's problems and needs, are important to Him and to those who love me.  He also showed me it was a little bit of "p r i d e"; oh, how I hate the thought that there is any of that in me, but here it is, no matter how far we think we have come, something like this could be a  pride thing. 

Forgive me Father.  I don't want anything not of You in me, I don't want something like this to stop the flow of intimacy between us. So, my friends, here I am before you tonight.  This is not a message of encouragement, not a message of love between me and my Beloved Lord, this will be a message from me to you, my friends.  As I humble myself before my Lord, as I ask His forgiveness and cleansing, I come before you and ask you to .....

Pray for me, please, for my daily walk in the Lord, that I may walk upright with His strength.  Please pray that the Lord give me strength and power for the work He has called me to.

Pray for me, please, for health in my body.  I am usually feeling just fine, but there are days I have aches and pains.  Please pray for rest for me at night, as I don't always sleep well.  I tend to want to spend time during the quiet of the night with the Lord and will lie awake waiting for Him to come.  Please pray that I will sleep peacefully knowing that when the Lord comes to me, He will awaken me, I will not miss His coming.

Pray for me, please, that when I pray for someone, or speak a word of encouragement, that it be the words and message of my Lord and not of me.  Pray that I will speak from Him, Whose words have the power of life in them, that His words will be words that will lift them from their illnesses, from their problems, from their spiritual battles, and fill them with His cleansing flood of grace and mercy.  Pray that I always take the time to seek Him for wisdom before I say anything.

Pray for me, please, that I always seek His will for my life before acting on any impulse that the enemy might put in my mind.  That my mind be protected by the covering of my Lord from any deceitful thoughts of the enemy; that my heart be shielded from hurt by things that satan might inspire someone to say to me or about me.  Pray that I will always hear only, the beautiful voice of my Father, the only One whose voice is dear to me.

Pray for me, please, that I may be the right kind of friend to you.  That I will always listen to your heart, not your words. For by listening to your heart, I hear what you are really trying to say to me that words may not always speak, or speak in the right manner.  Your heart will always say them right.  Pray I always hear your words with my heart, not my ears.  Pray that I always tell you how important your friendship is to me, because it is, as I know it is God given.  Let me never fail to tell you how much I love you, for love is the cord that binds us together in Christ.

Pray for me, please, as I pray for you.  My dear friends, I pray that the Lord supply all your needs according to His riches in Heaven.  I pray that you walk in perfect health according to His Word, that your bodies line up to the perfect way He designed them to be.  I pray that the Lord's presence always be with you, His love flowing through you, and His peace, His joy become a part of what and who you are.

And now I thank you.  This 26th day of May, 2010, I thank you that with the confidence I have in my Lord, my Beloved Lord who I worship with all my being; I thank you for praying for me.  I thank you for the love you have shown me from the moment I knew who you were, you have shown me precious love.  I thank you for the laughter you have given me, for the joy we have shared, and for the future we have together in the Lord.  One day, all the miles between us will be nullified and we will walk hand and hand into the throne room of our God, to worship Him together, one body, united in love, united in the sweetest worship song ever praising our Lord.

MY GOD WHO SEES ME

2 Chronicles 16:9  "For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him."

El Roi, my God who sees me.  My Lord, as I was praying this morning, as I was spending time in Your presence, I asked You, I asked what You saw when You looked at me.  I am just Your child, wanting to know if I am pleasing in Your sight.  Just wanting to know if I am doing what You want me to do, am I walking in the way You want me to, is there something that is not pleasing in me to You.  Is it un-natural to want that assurance, that reassurance that I am doing right, that I am pleasing You. 

You are so faithful to tell me, Lord.  You tell me that by faith, by my faith in You, I am assured in You, that if there is something wrong, You will put the conviction, the conviction brought about by Your love for me, in my spirit, showing me what is not right, showing me the way to correct it, getting it out of me, laying it down at Your feet.  You are faithful to cleanse me from all unrighteousness.  My Lord, how I have come to rely on Your presence with me, I have come to rely on the precious Holy Spirit to show me when I fail to be what I should, when something comes that would hinder my walk, hinder my relationship with You.  All I need to do is lay it down at the foot of the cross, knowing that it will be taken care of, and forgotten by my Father, never coming between us again.

El Roi, my God who sees me, You see me when I am worshiping You, giving You the thanks and glory for Your goodness to me.  You never fail to see me when I am sharing Your love with others.  You see me as I tell others how much I love You, how You are everything to me.  You also see me, tired, weary from my day, straining to hold a smile on my face as I am so very worn down by the pressures of the day, determined not to let satan best me with his chopping away at my shield.  The enemy trying to make me ashamed that I don't have a smile, telling me I should not be weary, all the time knowing that it is his constant barrage that wears on me, on all Your children.  But then comes the evening.

In the evening hours, things change.  El Roi, my God who sees me, watches me ready for bed, watches me worshiping Him as I lie down from my prayers, watching me as I lift my arms up to Him, sending Him a hug goodnight, a whispered note of added thanks and love, and close my eyes to rest.  My God who sees me, takes this time to pour Himself over me, pour Himself into me, into my spirit comes His refreshing strength, into my mind comes a total cleansing of whatever the enemy tried to encamp there, and into my heart comes more and more of His unconditional love.  Then just before morning comes, just before He brings me up from my rest He fills my heart with joy and then floods my entire being with new mercies as my eyes open, and then my spirit eyes see El Roi, my God who sees me, welcoming me to another day, made just for me by Him.

This 25th day of May, 2011, I am looking forward to the night as I know El Roi, my God who sees me will be watching me with love, with joy, and inputing into my soul, my spirit, my entire being, His message to me "My beloved child, in whom I am pleased".

SHIELD OF FAITH

Ephesians 6:16  "In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one."

I know what I am to talk with you about tonight Lord, but listening to this song, "I Just Want to Praise You", it is so hard not to just praise You here, just worship You for all your wonderful goodness to me this day, I feel Your presence so strong now, I just want to sit in Your arms, cry as I always do when You flood over me like this, but just sit and worship You, love on You and adore You.  I exalt Your Holy Name, my Beloved Lord.  How can I do anything but love You, but worship You, Your heavenly sweet presence flooding my being, giving warmth to my soul....

Today, I was going to lunch and was stopped at a red light.  The Lord spoke to me, "Shield of Faith".  I knew this was part of the Full Armor of God.  But as I listened, He began to tell me more about this shield He has given me to wear.  The Lord told me that this shield was a barrier between me and the world.  He told me that the enemy cannot penetrate this shield, this barrier when it is applied properly.  When it is worn appropriately.  We just cannot in the morning say, okay, I am putting on my shield of faith now and going out.  The shield of faith, along with the whole armor of God, is a preparation.  Just as I dress for work, I have a routine that pretty much follows the same pattern each morning.  I do about the same things in the same manner each day.  Brush teeth, apply makeup, fix my hair and then put on my clothes.  Pretty much the same every day. 

Well, putting on the full armor of God, my shield of faith is also a preparation each day.  That is what the Lord is trying to say today.  First, you must prepare yourselves by spending some time beginning the day in worship to our Lord.  This is the first thing I do every  morning.  I begin singing to my God, my precious Lord, singing out worship from my heart, from my spirit, longing for His presence, reaching up to Him in love and thanks for my rest in the night, for His looking over me while I rested, holding me close, giving me that sweet peaceful sleep.  Then I begin to pray, seeking His will for my day, asking for His guidance, His words to speak and not my own, asking for His grace, His perfect peace for my day.  I thank Him for His goodness to me, for His amazing love, and for His mercy extended to me new each morning.  Then I get up and go into my little office, just a bedroom that I have set up for an office.  I sit at my desk and look at my open Bible.  It is always open.  I have scraps of paper all over my desk on which I have scriptures written, where I have jotted down notes of what the Lord has told me, His words that He has dropped into my spirit during the night, or at other times of the day.  It really looks a mess, but I can't bear to part with one paper that has a word He has given me.  Then I look at the Word, to see where I left off the night before, to see what the Lord might have for me that morning.  And for a while I read.  Then as I pray, asking for strength for the day, for His power over the enemy and for Divine guidance, I put on my Shield of Faith along with the rest of the beautiful, blessed Armor of God.  But his shield, this protection, this expression of my trust and faith, this is the part of the armor that I believe blesses my  Lord the most.  This is the part of the armor that gives back to Him.  The part that shows my Lord my total trust in Him.  The faith I have in Him, the faith that He knows is built stronger and stronger each day as I see Him move in my life.  As I see the Lord turn what could have been harmful to me, see Him turn it around for His glory, for my good, my faith builds.  When I see what is a situation that has no way of coming to pass, I see Him move my mountains to obtain the goal He has placed before me.  Faith building, trust inspiring acts that continue to draw me into Him closer and closer.  The Lord just showed me a spider's web, build so intricately that anything going into it cannot penetrate it, it gets caught on the outside, and stuck there.  So is anything that is thrown against me, any plot to harm me, to draw me from His protection, gets caught outside my shield of faith.  Cannot get through to me, I am inside my Lord.  He surrounds me.

My faith has grown so deep, I don't see a lot of things coming against me, because I don't expect to see that.  I know the Lord is keeping me unto Himself and I trust Him to do so.  He has never failed to take care of me, so why would He not do so now, now that I am totally His, more than before.  Now that I love Him with a passion that I did not know I had, a passion to please Him more and more each day, a desire to spend my time worshiping Him alone, spend my time with Him.  How I worship You, my Lord.  I worship You.

My Shield of Faith, my Lord of Lords, is the beginning of my day, each day.  He is the end of my day, as I remove the outward shield and submit my heart, my soul, my spirit to Him for His cleansing, gentle cleansing to refresh me, to renew my being.  During the night, I get strength renewed, I get rest for the next day, I get His sweet breath of life poured into me, adding layers to my shield while I rest, layers of faith, restored, rebuilt, any dents the enemy may have made in my shield are straightened out, smoothed over, gently rubbed and shined with His righteousness, all while I rest, He is at work, doing for me, tending to me.  O, my Lord, how I love You.  Hallelujah to You, my God.  I worship You. 

This 24th day of May, 2011, I worship You, my Lord.  You are my Lord, my Beloved Bridegroom, You are my everything.

HE TAKES MY BREATH AWAY

Psalm 16:11  "You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

When I came home this evening from work, I was worshiping the Lord as I changed.  You know how tired you can get, whether you worked hard or not, just from the long day away from home, away from the reading of the Word, away from the open opportunity to worship the Lord.  My heart felt so blank, just nothing.  As I lifted my hands up to the Lord, I just asked Him, as I so often do, "Lord, please let me feel Your presence" and immediately He flooded my entire being with His presence.  When His presence fills me, just sits down on me, flooding every part of me with His glory, it literally takes my breath away.  When I can breath, all that comes out of my mouth seems to be "Oh, my, oh my".  And I am just weak, standing there hardly able to contain the joy that fills my being. 

The splendor of my Lord, His beauty, His righteousness flows through me, cleansing me of anything that might not be worthy of being in His vessel, His abode in me.  How I treasure these moments, each one, each time He pours Himself over me, is more wonderful than the time before, if that were possible.  How special He makes me feel, how truly special that He would come, visit me, pour His spirit over me in love, His presence lingering with me, my just not wanting this time to end.  Just wanting to stay in His arms, not moving, not thinking of anything, anyone but Him, just wanting to get so deep into His presence, so close to Him.

This morning, early as I lay awake worshiping, praying for the things that were so on my heart, my mind.  Friends needing prayer for different problems, obstacles in their lives, friends grieving as I over the status once again of the land of God's chosen people, of Israel, and grieving for the people that live in Israel, always in peril for their lives, not knowing from one minute to the next if they will be there.  But as I was praying, I too was grieving, just so wanting the Lord to touch, to heal, to destroy the enemy of His people.  I finally fell asleep and when I woke, actually the alarm woke me up, which is rare, but today I slept to it going off. But when I awoke, the first thing I knew was the words to that beautiful hymn going through my mind, actually just the first line of the song, over and over.  "When peace like a river attendeth my way".  It stayed in my mind, the Lord just using those words to that beautiful song "It is Well With My Soul"; using that to remove all the burden of the nights prayers, showing me that to be effective as a prayer warrior, as an intercessor, I must leave those things at His feet.  I must pray and pray, but I must release them along with the prayers going up to His throne room and not try to carry them.  Before long, He showed me, I would be so burdened down by the cares and worries, the concerns for all those I was praying for, I would get depressed, weighed down by things I was not equipped to carry.  I must give them all to Him, the prayers, the people into His care, and His beloved Israel.  Pray and let go.  Be grieved but release to Him to carry them through.  Trust Him, know that He will answer my prayer in His will, not mine.  Just trust Him completely. 

Tonight, my precious Lord, how I love You.  You are life to me, my only desire is to know You more and more.  To feel Your beautiful presence all the time, to completely stay in Your presence.  This 23rd day of May, 2011, I want Your presence to fall on me, once again, to take my breath away.

PLEASING MEDITATION

Psalm 105:34  "May my meditation be pleasing to Him, as I rejoice in the Lord."

I spend a lot of time thinking about the Lord.  Thinking about my relationship to Him.  As I worship, singing along with the music that plays almost constantly in my home, or if I am singing to Him from my heart, from my spirit, expressing my love and adoration for Him, my mind is thinking on Him.  I wonder, I think, am I pleasing my Lord.  Am I doing the things that are pleasing to Him.  You know, the enemy is quick to let you know, 'no, of course not!'  But when you are singing and worshiping Him, you can discount anything negative you hear.  In fact, if you are walking in the Lord, giving unto the Lord continually your love and worship, you can discount any negative thoughts completely.  You will not hear negativity from the Lord during this time.  He loves to be worshiped from your heart.

But again, I am drifting.  I think of the Lord as I want to hear from Him what He would like me to do.  Is there something I can do that would please Him more in my worship, during my devotion time.  Pleasing my Lord is my passion, it is what I desire to do most with my day.  As I drive down the street, work, visit friends, have dinner, there is practically nothing that does not take my mind directly to the Lord.  Everything I see brings the glory and beauty of the Lord to me.  I know, you may think there is a lot of ugly out there, and I suppose there is, but you must learn to look beyond what your eyes only see, and let the Holy Spirit show you what is really there.  What you should be looking at with your spiritual eyes.  And, there you will see the beauty.  There you will see the glory of the Lord shining through.  No matter how bad a situation looks, the glory of the Lord will be there. 

A terrible rain storm, with dark clouds looming, lightning across the sky, you will see a split in those clouds and the light is shining through, the sun is shining through to let you know what you see is surface, it is going to end, but coming next will be a better day.  There will be a better day if you remember that the Lord has everything in His control.  You are in this day, you do not have to be part of it.  The Lord is the maker of the day, and He is your strength and support in it.

But as I read the Word, as the scripture goes into my heart, I see so many times how God's people have turned from Him, to do their own thing, of course, worship other gods.  I am amazed at the, well the word that comes to mind is stupid, I am sorry, but stupid it is.  The people of God have seen His hand protect and save them time after time, but would still go back to the sinful nature they had before.  Each time the Lord would forgive them when they cried out to Him.  Today is no different.  The Lord has lifted our country, our earth, out of one conflict, tragedy; forgiven and restored; for a while people would remember and praise Him, then back to their old ways, back to their sin.  I don't understand this, Lord.  I only know it hurts You and grieves You.  How long, my God, will this continue.  As I think of Your love for me, for Your people, I wonder how long You will put up with the response that rises up from this earth.  Or rather, the lack of response to You.  They only see You as long as it suits them, and then back following the ways of the world, the evil one, our natural enemy, the true enemy of Your children.

I can't help but think, my Lord, of how You have protected me, Your people, just in our daily lives.  How You have shown compassion and mercy, grace, goodness to us, everyday giving unto us what we need for our substance, sustaining us, loving us.  I don't understand how people can turn from You knowing Your goodness.  Where I stand in You today Lord, is not where I want to be.  I want to be closer, nearer, I want to be one with You.  I need to be in You at all times Lord.  I need Your annointing on my day, in my work, in my life.  I want to be the one that You can hear worshiping You with continual praise, continual adoration.  I want to bring others along with me to worship, to let them see Your glory when they look out their eyes. 

I want Your glory know to all men everywhere.  I want to tell others how to let their spiritual eyes do the seeing for them.  The time for looking with earthly eyes is over.  We need to begin to see what is going on in this land, our country.  Take the blinders off, the rose colored glasses, stop being led by those who are not being led by You.  We need to let the Holy Spirit show us what we need to see, no matter how terrifying it may seem, we need to look at it until we can see, until we can detect for ourselves, the true glory of the Lord in it.  For everything that happens is for Your glory.  To bring glory to You, O God.  Just You, all glory and honor.  You are calling us to Yourself, to see Your glory, to proclaim Your glory to all men.  It is not ours, it is not theirs, the glory is Yours alone, my Lord.

This 22nd day of May, 2011, my Lord, let my meditations be pleasing.  Let me think of You, spend my time thinking on You, and Lord, please let me spend my time in Your presence.  I love you, my Lord, my worship to You comes from my heart, my soul and my spirit that has been meditating on You, Your glory, Your beauty.

THE DESERVING ONE

Psalm 115:1  "Not to us, O Lord, not to us but to Your Name be the glory, because of Your love and faithfulness."

Have you ever seen a rooster struting across a hen yard, kind of going "look, look what I did", "look, look what I did", just crowing about what he thinks he has done, but in reality, he did nothing but be.  That is how I saw myself at times.  You know when the enemy can just jolt you for a minute, whispering in your ear how great an achievement you made, what a wonderful job you did, wow, did you ever save the day on that one....yes, you have been there too.  We all have.  But when I look inside me, when I close my ears to that lying voice, that deceiving lying voice, I see that I have done nothing.  I know that my accomplishment, whatever it was, was small in myself.  The accomplishment that was outstanding was my Lord.  Without my Lord, nothing would have been done in this manner.  Oh, I can do things, I am fairly intelligent, I am a determined person who likes to get things done right, but so weak, so human.  I can do nothing in myself that would amount to what comes out of me, it is my Lord who draws out of me what is an acomplishment.  He supplies the strength, the annointing, the words that I speak, the words that I write, the songs that I sing.  It is He who deserves the glory for whatever I do.  I would be lying if I said I can do this all on my own.  I can't.  I need the Lord to help me in everything I do.  I want the Lord to help me.  I don't want to do anything without Him.  I have been there, done that.  It did not turn out well.  It seemed good, but I was empty inside.  It was all a facade, all external, there was nothing inside of me that was of value, nothing to be cherished.  Nothing.

My beautiful Lord Jesus, You are the one who deserves all the praise, all the honor, all the glory for whatever I am.  And I believe I am someone in You.  We all are.  When we place ourselves in the hands of the Almighty, just look at what He makes of you.  He takes one like me, broken, empty, needing of a Savior, and lifts them up to Himself.  He lifted me up out of lonliness, despair, crippled in spirit and put me on the path He had designed for my life.  You ever think you are doing so good, at least that is what you are showing to the world, and inside there is such an emptiness that just aches and aches.  It physically is painful.  But the One, the One that deserves all the glory, comes in and begins His work inside your heart, giving comfort, pouring love into you, restoring faith.  He cleanses your mind, taking away and destroying all the remnants of the lies told you by the enemy, those lies that had destroying in the intent of them, washing them out with the shed blood, that precious blood that He gave for me, for you.  Then He takes your spirit, that spirit that has lost life, hanging on by a thread of life now, so destitute and He enjoins it with His beautiful, life giving spirit, and you begin to feel a newness coming into you as hope springs up, a hope that seems to grow daily, stronger, stronger.

There is nothing that the enemy puts on you, no matter how low you think you have sunk, whatever depths of despair you are at, that the Lord God Almighty cannot bring you up from, no mind game you have been a part of, no sin you have commited, nothing you have been a party to; absolutely nothing that He, the Holy One of Heaven, the Deserving One, cannot change.  I am proof of what the Lord can do with a soul that seems too far gone, hope destroyed, life defeated; and now what I am, I am because of my Jesus, the Deserving One who never gave me up, never left me, just waited until I could see nothing, noone but Him and gave Him complete control to do what He would with me.  He deserves all the glory for me, for what I am, for what He made of me, what He is still doing in me.  He has set me upright and placed His righteousness on me, lifted my head up, restored my mind, healed my spirit and placed unmatchable joy in my heart.  Thank you Lord.  Thank you, my Jesus.

My precious Lord, Savior of my soul, how I love You.  You have given me life, unconditional life in Your beautiful love for me.  You have annointed me with love, Your love.  You have given me direction and a desire to worship, a need to worship, a hunger to worship only You.  This 21st day of May, 2011, You deserve all the glory, all the honor, all  my worship.  Every day, every minute of my life.  You are the Deserving One.

GOODNESS OF THE LORD

Psalm 27:13  "I am confident of this; I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the Living."

Tomorrow is to be the day, according to an elderly gentlemen bent on proclaiming that our Lord will return tomorrow.  The end of the world.  This man is leaving no room for debate, he is insisting that it will be tomorrow, 6 PM to be exact.  It will begin, he says, where on earth that time arrives first.  To be perfectly honest, I have not paid too much attention to the claim of this man, and since I don't watch a lot of TV, haven't seen a lot either.  I have heard more ridicule towards this man than anything.  Because of this type of comments, I am feeling quite sad for this man.  He is so determined that it will be tomorrow; he was wrong once before.....but is so sure of tomorrow.  In my heart, in my soul, I truly hope he is right.  But my spirit, in tune with my Holy Spirit of God, tells me it is not so.  What a shame for me, for all of us that long for the Lord to return for His Bride. 

I truly feel that my Father would prefer that people not do this, not make proclamations such as this, as it makes a mockery of Judgment Day.  And that, that is a real day that is coming.  But when things like this go on, it is harmful to those that are just on the edge of accepting Jesus as their Savior, seeking Him, coming closer to Him each day.  Then someone in the name of Christianity, begins once again to cast  ridicule on one of the most important events that will ever take place.  And the Word tells us, that NO ONE knows except the Father; not even our Lord Jesus.  How many times have people tried to figure out just the right day.  Remember 2000.  So many people were thinking that the world would end then, people were stocking up food, getting ready for calamity to happen.  One day, I am sure things will seem like the end of the world as things escalate on earth but no one will know which day.  We may have wars, bombing that seems like the end, but it will not be God's planned end.  How many terrible wars have there been, the destruction on earth, centuries and centuries back.  One country, one people, after another, wanting the power, the wealth, the land.  And doing anything and everything to gain it.  But this does not make it the second coming of our King.

Sunday morning, this poor man who has gone to great lengths to make so many believe this, will be put to shame.  I am concerned for him, that he may not be able to take the disappointment of being wrong, again.  He will possibly lose friends, acquaintances will judge him, family members be embarassed.  But what of this man.  I know what the Lord will do, because I know my Lord.  My Lord will reach down and put his arms around this old soul and love him.  The Holy Spirit will begin to comfort him, encouraging him to ask the Lord's forgiveness, and restoration to the Father.  And because of the goodness of my Lord, it will happen.  My God, my great God will forgive, because the Son asked him to.  Our Jesus, the goodness of our Jesus.  No matter how, once again, men put Christianity in a bad light, no matter how it sets the plan back once again, myJesus will lift him up.  Forgive him, love him.

I would like to think that all Christians everywhere would have this precious goodness of our Lord.  To see human fraility, to sympathize with them, and not ridicule.  We don't know what drives people to do these things, only our Father does, as He knows the heart.  We must, especially at these times, watch what He will see in our hearts. 

You can see at the beginning of this, the title and the verse, that I had no idea we would be discussing this.  I had begun before this, only to erase it thinking, no, we won't be going there.  But I guess we did, didn't we Father.  But I am confident, and know for certain in my heart, that I will see the goodness of my Lord in the land of the living.  That means here on earth, in my lifetime.  I will see people giving unto others, helping them in the Name of Jesus, giving love to one another as the Lord loves us.  Lifting up instead of putting down, compassion and not hate and mistrust.  In this land, in my time, the goodness of the Lord will shine forth with a beam that will be the Light of our Lord.  He will shine on earth like never before, as people begin to worship His Holy Name, lifting Him up for all to see, His precious goodness as they become more like Him.  I can see some of you, in  my spirit I see you, smiling at this, thinking, poor Pat, she really is just too optimistic.  And perhaps I am, but why not.  Why not look at the way it should be and not the way it is?  If we look for good, and put good into action, why can't it be so.  Think the way it should be and it will be.  If all would unite together and put forth actions that reflect the Lord, His Word, Holy Spirit led people, just think of the different world we would be living in.  The goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

I love you my Lord.  My Jesus, You are life to me; You are the goodness I pray I show to others.  Inhabit my praises Lord, dwell within me, pour through me Your goodness, Your love that I may be one who will make a difference.  This 20th day of May, 2011, I want, with Your help O Lord, to show Your goodness in the land of the living.

JESUS, I BELIEVE

John 11:27  "Yes, Lord", she told Him, "I believe that You are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world".

Where do I begin.  You know when you first become a Christian, first accept the Lord as your Savior, it seems almost surreal....like you are watching yourself from outside your body.  I can remember crying, I was so caught up in the service I was in, the music, the preaching, and here I was, at that altar, with some of my friends, giving my heart to the Lord.  The first time I gave my heart to the Lord, I was eight years old.  I just knew that I loved the Lord and wanted to have Him love me. I don't think I understood everything then. And truth be told, I did not know the second time I went to the altar either, not really.  I loved the Lord and wanted to be saved.  I did not want to go to hell, like the preacher talked about.  Funny now, as you don't hear the word hell used in too many services these days.  Just isn't a popular subject, turns people off, they may not come back next Sunday so we just don't mention that there is a judgment day when sinners that have not turned their lives around will go to hell if they have not accepted Jesus as their Savior.  But once again, I rabbit trail ....

But I gave my heart to the Lord.  Little did I know what He would become to me so many years later.  I have talked about my life several times before.  I so do not want to go there again, Lord.  I have no way of explaining the outcome without giving you some of the why fors.....I sang in the choir at church most of my growing up, youth choir, adult choir, I went to a denominational church most of my early life until I was about 22 or so.  But I always sang, was in choir in high school, college, for the short time I went.  But that also is another story.  But I sang.  I married, it was such a failure.....did you know you can not change people, no matter how much you try to love them, no matter what kind of a home you try to make with them?  Only God can change people.  So for a few years I did not even go to church.  It was easier not going than to go and suffer for it.  And at the time, I suffered enough without Sundays also.  How different I would do that now.  But after a horrible few years, I got away and moved out of town for a while.  When I came back home I began to sing in a nightclub, not regular, but when I would go, the band would ask me to sing with them.  That is where I met Robert.  He was enthralled with the little girl singing with the band, at least that is what he told me.  So you can see this romance got off to a great start, in a bar, so to speak. 

After we had been married a few years, I got a cold, lost my voice, and when my voice returned, I discovered that I had lost my singing voice. Literally could not sing a note.  My voice would crack, squeech, make very funny noises but there was no singing.  The gift I had been given had been taken back.  I had misused a precious gift that was given me to worship the Lord and justly so, He just took it back.  I like to think it was given to someone during those years that used it to worship Him with.  To my great surprise, after my husband went through what was probably one of the worse years of his life, I came home one day to be told that on Sunday we were going to church.  He had watched a service on TV that day while I was at work and the Lord called him and he gave his heart to Jesus.  So Sunday we went to church, sat on the back row. But we were in church. He had some friends there that he worked with so it wasn't too strange for us.  It was a non-denominational church.  Yes, I tried to sing, it did not happen.  I would like to say that I could sing right away because I was again going to church, being who I was suppose to be, but it did not happen.  It was a number of months of going to church, almost a year, changing the way I was living before anything happened.  And it was not gradual, just one Sunday morning, I opened my mouth to sing, thinking I would hear the usual squeak, but instead out poured the voice that I had forgotten was once mine.  And so I sang.  I sang specials in church, did for years after that, but that is what I did; I sang songs about Jesus.  About Him.

Jesus, I believe You never let me go from You.  I just did not know You.  I knew about you.  Jesus, I believe You protected me from all that was intended to destroy me, from the time I first gave my life to You.  Jesus, I believe You knew everything that was going to happen to me.  Jesus, I believe You knew what I would do with the voice You gave me to sing to You.  Even knowing what I would do, did You not wish that I would have stayed on course.  I sure do.  I wish I had always been there, where You intended me to be. 

But I sang again, finally sang again, but a lot of times it was still for man, for approval, making sure all the notes were right on, the words were perfect, worrying that I might forget a word, might not be perfect.   How foolish I was, still misusing my voice. Still not being who I was to be in You.  So far off target.  What a waste of years.

Jesus, I believe You had this time in my life all mapped out.  Jesus, I believe this would be the time that what I could do would make the biggest difference in my life.  Jesus, I believe You are using me to make a difference in other's lives.  Jesus, I believe that You walked me through everything that happened to me for just this time, right now.

I don't sing anymore.  I do not sing songs anymore.  I worship.  I glorify the Lord that has never left me alone for a moment of my life.  I worship my Jesus, my sweet Jesus who has given me back my voice once again.  I did not lose it through the songs I sang, but it was not the voice I have now.  Now I have a voice that worships my Lord, that sings out songs that come from my heart, from the depths of my soul with love to my Jesus.  I belong to a Praise and Worship, I stand amazed this past nine months that they trust me with an open mike.  They never know what I am going to say, what I am going to sing; I don't know either.  I just know that if the Holy Spirit tells me to say this, I do; if He leads me to begin worshiping the Lord with different words than everyone else is singing, that is exactly what I do.  I do not sing, I worship.  The words I sing when I do a special may not always come out right; I have gotten caught up in the spirit of my Lord and lost myself, not even knowing what I was singing except to know they were not the words of the song.  Afterwards the enemy has tried to make me feel ashamed for messing it up, but I found out that no one even realized it had happened.  They had gotten caught up in the Lord also.  It is the way it was meant to be.  Music, words that are used to express the feelings of my heart to the Son of Almighty God, the Man who walked this earth so many years ago, making salvation possible through His sacrifice on the cross.  I worship this precious Savior, Who upon His return to the Father, sitting beside Him on His throne, looks down upon me, just a simple woman, no different than any other, except that He changed my life, changed because He never let me go.

Jesus, I believe You love me.  Jesus, I believe You will always love me.  On this 19th day of May, 2011, Jesus, I believe You know how much I love You.  Jesus, I believe You know I will never let go of You again.  Jesus I believe You are coming back for me.  Yes, my precious Savior, I believe; for eternity; Jesus, I believe.

THE SANCTUARY OF PRAISE

Psalm 114:2  "Judah became God's sanctuary, Israel his dominion."

As I was reading the Word, this verse spoke to me really differently.  That happens so often now, now that I am seeking the Lord with all my heart, diligently looking to understand His Word and what He is trying to tell me.  This morning as I read, Judah became God's sanctuary; instantly I knew that Judah was praise.  The sanctuary a place of refuge, the dictionary says a safe place, but I think perhaps the Lord sees, my feeling of how He would see it, as a being a place of acceptance, quiet acceptance, nothing there but a peaceful place of welcome.  My praise, my worship inviting my Lord into this sanctuary of praise.

Israel His dominion.  Israel means one who struggled with God. I want to say it is not letting go of the Lord,  not releasing the hold you can obtain of the Lord through heartfelt worship.  The grasp your worship and praise has, lifting up from your heart and soul, the longing in your spirit to be one with the Lord and not letting up until you know that you have been brought into the Holy of Holies, right to the throne of the Lord and given His blessing.

So as I can understand what I have been shown here, through this small scripture is that the Lord, as I have always known, inhibits the praises of his people.  But now I understand it to be a sanctuary for Him, a place He knows He is welcome by one that has sought His presence, desiring to see His face,  to lovingly reach up and touch that beautiful face of the One who has given everything to make this possible; now He can come in to rest in the love, the worship, the quiet sanctuary to which He is welcome without anything wanted of Him, save His presence and love.  And then to have this place inside of me, the deepest place, have that place invaded by the Holy Presence of the Lord.  The Spirit of the Lord resting in me, listening quietly to my offerings of worship, the praise that rises from my lips just to Him, just for Who He is.  Not wanting anything, just to be with Him.  He, who is so Holy; just to be with Him.

Come, Lord Jesus, abide in me.  Come into the sanctuary of worship, of praise that I offer to You alone.  Come where You are welcome, always, to stay, never leaving me.  Stay.  I will lift my voice up to You as long as I walk this earth and then one day, I will join so many others around Your throne to worship forever.

My precious Lord Jesus, You are welcome in this place, this heart of mine.  I long for Your presence, I need Your presence, Your presence is life to me.  This 18th day of May, 2011, I am offering this sanctuary of praise to You, my King, and I will not stop, I will not let go until I am there, one with You.

MY TIME TO WORSHIP

Hosea10:12 "Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground, for it is time to seek the Lord, until He comes and showers righteousness on you."

For more nights that I can remember, I am talking months here, I have woke up about 2 in the morning.  Sometimes a little after, sometimes about ten minutes to, but close enough to two to settle on that time.  Well, last night, the pattern was the same. It does not matter what time I go to bed, early or late, this is the pattern.  I woke up and looked at the clock, one minute after 2 a.m.  I just lay there, listening to the worship music that always plays on my I-Pod all night and began to worship, but then I stopped and decided, this night I would ask why....why was I always waking up at this time.  So I asked, "Lord, what is it about 2:00 in the morning, what is it, why am I always woke up now, at this time?"  Almost instantly, into my spirit the Lord answered me "Because it is your time to worship me".  Tears welled up in my eyes as I began to laugh with joy. 

In the next instant, I was recalling what a friend describes as his view of what heaven will be like for us worshippers.  The way he sees it was as such.  There will be a lot going on, we will be worshiping but not all the time, for there are other things to do.  He will be visiting with King David, they will have a lot to talk about; psalms and songs and all.  Then he will need to visit Mary of Bethany cause she invited him to come by, lots of things going on.  But then at 6 PM, that is his favorite time, he will be called to the main arena, it will be his time to go and worship the Lord in the throne room.  He will be in the magnificent presence of the Lord, Almighty God to worship and glorify the Lord.  To honor Him.  There will be an assigned time when you are expected.

So as I lay there for a few minutes crying as the presence of the Lord was so great, thinking about this assigned time in the heavens, I began to sing along with the music playing.  I began to worship my Lord.  After a while I began to sing from my heart, the songs the Lord loves most, the ones that no one has written before, the songs that come from the depths of our spirits so filled with love and adoration that they are one time only songs.  The only remembering of them will be the Lord, for it is out of the heart, the spirit that these songs come, not from the head.  I could feel His righteousness flooding my body, to the depths of me.  I could feel His love pouring out onto me. 

I sang for what seemed to be a short time but the clock said otherwise.  Some time had passed.  I prayed for a while after that for some needs that were urgent.  I know when my Lord is worshiped and adored, when my heart reaches up and touches His, that His ear is listening intently to what I might ask, what is dear on my heart.  There are friends that are ill, needs that are important for the week.  So I talked to my Lord about these things.

Then I lay there and thought about this assigned time.  I knew and understood why it might be needed in Heaven.  So many of us wanting to go in at the same time and worship.  I could be there from sunup to sundown, just wanting to sit at the feet of my Lord and worship Him.  But there will be people to visit and talk to; can you just feel what it will be like to see mama and daddy, family members, loved ones, dear friends; the wonderful people of the Bible.  I want to talk to Martha and Mary, to Ruth.  We will have such a wonderful time.

But I was thinking about this time the Lord told me was my time to worship.  I had the feeling while I was worshiping Him that I was not alone, that I had lifted my voice and joined a chorus of others that had the 2:00 time slot.  So many willing voices, willing to be woke up, joyful at the thought that the Lord was inviting us in to worship Him at that time.  You see, I know He could have asked anyone else, but He chose me.  It was important for me to worship at that time.  I think He has a special chorus for each time and all the voices blend into such a wondrous melody for Him, special voices blending together in pure worship and love.  O my Lord, how I love to worship You and to know that You love to hear me worship You brings such joy to my soul, such stirrings of my spirit. So special to be asked by You, to be drawn into Your presence to worship at this special time to You.

I believe that the Lord has orchestrated such across this whole earth, special voices, special worshippers that love Him so much that time doesn't matter, as long as they can worship the Lord that gives them life, that gives them the very breath that sustains them.  Just to worship Him, to glorify His beautiful Name, the precious Name of Jesus.  So there will be others in their time slots also.  Other people around the world stopping at a certain time of day, some understanding why, some not knowing, just knowing that at this time of day or night, they begin to worship the Lord with all their hearts, just pouring out their love to Him, with joyful hearts; resounding worship throughout the earth, twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, each week, each year.

I have done this for a long time now at two in the morning never knowing why.  I am so glad I asked.  Because now I know that I am a part of something that is so much bigger than just me, a part of a united group of lovers of the Most High, a unity of voices lifting their songs of worship and praise to the Heavens to glorify and honor Jesus....Jesus.....Jesus, what a wonder You are, how I love to sing Your praises, You are exalted on high, Lord Jesus.

This 17th day of May, 2011, my heart is so full of love for my King.  You have given me love, life and thank You, precious Savior, my time to worship.

TO KNOW HIM IS TO LOVE HIM

I John 4:8  "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."

As I woke up this morning, I was drawn deep into thought as my soul overtook my mind, my heart racing, and longing from deep inside me came forth in prayer to the Lord.  "Jesus".  "Jesus".  I kept saying His name and then I knew what my spirit was calling for.  "My Lord, please, please my Lord, imprint Your face on my soul, on my heart, deep within my spirit, so that when I close my eyes I will see Your face."  I was weeping as I prayed this prayer to my precious Jesus.  I want to close my eyes and see Him, see that Face that beauty comes from, that Face whose eyes can look deep into my being and see a heart that adores Him, that worships only Him, that lives for only Him. 

Of course, today would have been wonderful had I been able to stay home and worship my Jesus, but I had to go to work.  Worshiping in the car on the way to work I was brought to tears again as my Lord just seemed to settle on me for the ride.  Never letting go.  The ride to work is way too short sometimes.  I did pretty good for a while but then I was waiting a customer about noon time and the Holy Spirit swelled up inside me and whispered into my spirit "To know Him is to Love Him".  It was all I could do to contain the tears that sprung up in my eyes.  I got done with the customer as soon as I could because I knew more was coming.  As soon as she left I began to jot this down while the words were fresh in my mind, on my heart.

Knowing the Lord, loving Him.  It is one and the same.  If you truly love Jesus, with all your heart, you will take the time to know Him.  To know what He is like, who He is.  To learn of His beautiful attributes that He so lovingly shared in His Word, to give us a goal for life, to give us instruction of how we are to live.  If we just say we love the Lord and do not resemble Him in our lives, do not live or even try to walk like He did, then we cannot say we love Him.  So often the word love is used so carelessly.  Love is truly wanting to know who this person is, what are they like.  What are their interests, what things do they not like.  We want to do everything we can to please this one that has become the object of our affection, of our love.  And as that love deepens, we move our schedules around to spend time with them. More and more time getting to know them, letting them see that our hearts are theirs.  Knowing and loving.  These are the key ingredients to intimacy.  Real intimacy is based on facts of love.  Why do you love this person, what is it about this person that draws you so deep into them that you cannot stand to be without their presence for a moment.

And this is where we are.  Jesus, the precious Son of Almighty God; He, who came to earth as a baby, born of a virgin, out of the love of the Father.  Grew in statue showing love to others, showing that it was possible to be tempted and sin not, never boasting of himself, but humbling himself to serve others.  A friend to all that came to Him, never judging but loving each the same, sharing the knowledge of His Father with all.  Then, the depth of love extended when He was crucified, walked up that road to be crucified, knowing what lay there for Him, but knowing it was necessary to give us a freedom, a redemptive freedom that would come with His death.  No such love ever manifested itself such as this.

How can you possibly know these facts of this great love, the greatest love ever shown to man, and not love Jesus with all your heart.  Perhaps you chose not to know these things, makes it easier to live like you do, in the world, one foot in, one foot out.  Sitting on the fence, so to speak, wanting to be one of the Lord's some days, but not willing to give up what you think is so important, so much fun.....how can it be so much fun when it keeps you stirred, confused, lost.  You need to chose; before it is too late.  Take up the Word of the Lord, read of His love for You, begin to know what He did, how He walked this earth, who He is, a Living Savior, a Loving God.

I have chosen.  I know my Lord Jesus, I know Him intimately.  He is my everything.  I love Him above my live.  He is the very blood that runs through me, my very breath.  My life depends on Him.  Without Him is no life.  And knowing Him, my love for Him exceeds anything I have ever known.  Now, I am asking Him, imploring Him to imprint His face on my soul, my heart, my mind, and my spirit.  Into the depths of my being.  I want to close my eyes whenever I want to and see His face.  That beautiful face. I want to look into those eyes that shine with love for me, that drink me up into His presence so I cannot even breath unless He does.  I want to become one with Him.  I want to see that face, that precious face that looks down on me from His throne room and smiles when I worship Him, when I call out to Him in love.  His name is on my lips when I awake during the night and I want to see His face when those eyes of mine close again.

My Lord, my Jesus.  You are the Light of my life.  This 16th day of May, 2011, I am worshiping You, I am adoring You, I know You, I love You.  I am desiring to see Your face......the face of my Jesus, my Lord.

THE GRACE TO GET UP

James 4:6  "But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: "God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble".

Grace.  God's grace, that precious atoning grace.  Without that grace I would not be doing this blog, I would not be singing and worshiping my Lord every Sunday morning in front of people, there is no telling where I might have ended up.  Perhaps no longer on this earth.  How could I even imagine life as it is without the grace of a mighty God that has so much love for me, so much tenderness where I am concerned, so much mercy and so very much grace towards me.  How precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed.  But then I fell to the side of the path, and because of His grace He brought me back to Himself, put me back on the path He had set for my life and through His grace is keeping me there.

My Lord is working things out for me, working things out of me.  Pride....what a tool of the enemy.  My Lord kind of wiped some more of that from me yesterday as He had me tell of one more characteristic I use to have that He healed in me so I could be even more useful to His kingdom.  I cannot believe this.  I have the broadcast on while I am typing this, it should have been the program from this past Thursday, but no, it is from Monday, also about grace, deciding to follow Jesus.  The Lord never lets me wonder long if I have the right word from Him on what I am to write.  Yes, my Lord, I see Your plan, and I am following You.  Never turning back but continually after You, so close I will be as a shadow of You, of Your righteousness as You continue to prune me, structure me in Your ways, through Your wonderful and precious grace.

Once again, I am off subject, but as it is the Lord and I, you see, you are really just along for the ride, so to speak, on a journey began last year that the Lord is leading me on.  But I am happy you decided to come along, it is a wonderful ride.  I hope you enjoy what the Lord is doing in me, and I pray it blesses you also.

Pride.  This is an area that I am trying to rid myself of.  See, the enemy knows I am proud of being who the Lord is making me; not boastful pride, but just proud of the person I am in Him, liking myself.  Not to brag or anything like that.....Father, is this wrong?  Please let me know about this one for I am not sure of this. I think satan would like me to thing this one is wrong so I would lose that wonderful feeling of loving what You have done with me.  But the pride that the Lord is concerned with is, that pride that comes when we think we are doing this all on our own.  Just look at me, look what I can do, look what I did.  This pride, so silly, for we can do nothing on our own.  I can do nothing save what the Lord does through me.  Nothing is done without His grace.  As He instills His love and care into me, I find myself praying daily, more of You, Lord, more of You, less of me.  I don't want anything inside of me that would cause my Lord not to be pleased with me, and I know He hates pride.

So, the Lord finds an area in me that needs cleansing, some area that has cropped up under the enemy's careful manuvering.  The enemy really has to get subtle with those of us that know his ways, know what to watch for.  So he uses things like making us feel good about some accomplishment, some special thing we did well.  And I don't think there is anything wrong with feeling good about these things, as long as we remember it did not come to us on our own, it did not get done without the beautiful grace of the Father.  But the Lord searches daily, invited to do so, through me and finds anything that is not of Him and cleans it up.  He will not do this without being invited to do so, without being asked to search your heart daily, to cleanse you daily.

It is a very humbling thing to completely expose yourself to the Lord.  It is also very humbling for Him to expose you to the world, as He has done to me many times in these blogs. He does so for my good, for my benefit, for my walk with Him; doing so leaves me completely open to only Him.  You know how you go into a house you want to buy and there is a lot of gunk on the floors.  You can see that underneath those layers and layers of tile or carpet there is a hardwood floor.  You can see the wood is something wonderful but it will take work to clean it all up.  Well, that is what the Lord is showing me. He has taken layer after layer of self, pride, silly notions of life, and just plain ol' me and He is down to the bare, stripped down base.  And now He has begun to polish me up.  And in doing so, sometimes there is something that is still trying to attach itself there that doesn't belong on this refurbished, new, beautiful heart.  So He exposes it to the Light and in doing so, sometimes He uses only the two of us, and other times He has me put it out there for all to see.  I guess I could refuse to do it, but I would be disobedient, I would lose the very prize I so seek.....His presence, His throne room.  So I obey Him, but sometimes fall very low in statue, humbled, exposed.

Grace.....then the grace begins to fall down all over me, flooding over me in a cloud of His glory, healing the spots that He had to polish harder on, shining that area to match the other areas He has completed in me.  His marvelous grace, precious grace that never ends, never stops flowing, always reaching out to me to pick me up, envelop me into His arms of love, His arms of joy.  Wonderful, miraculous, glorious grace.

Blessed, santified, righteous, loved; all words that would describe how He had made me.  What He has done in my heart, my spirit so healed of the past, my soul calm and peaceful.....all because of my Lord's grace.  Grace, grace, God's grace, grace that will pardon and cleanse within; grace, grace, God's grace, grace that is greater than all my sin.  Such a beautiful song, so much truth to this.  It is all by God's grace.  Just God's grace.

My Lord, my precious Beloved Lord, this 15th day of May, 2010, I am under the wonderful annointing of my Lord.  My love is only for You, I love You with all my heart.  I worship You because You have given me the grace to come before You, sit at Your feet and adore You.  It is Your grace, Your grace that allows me to do this, Your grace that invites me in to the Holy of Holies to be with You.  Grace, pure, precious grace.

UNRECOGNIZED BEAUTY

Proverbs  15:4  "The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit."

After I left work today, I had to go to the store.  There are some trees along the way, and I was thinking how beautiful they were.  Not that they were special really, but I use to oil paint and came to appreciate the beauty of snarled looking trees and unusual shaped ones.  As I was thinking about these trees, the Lord spoke to me and clearly said "I wish my children could be looked upon as people look upon and care for trees".  Yes, I immediately began to listen to Him as He told me what He meant.

The Lord told me that as I was doing, so many trees caught the eye and admiration of people.  And the trees could be odd shaped, drooping limbs, broken limbs, all kinds and shapes.  There were trees that had been hit by lightning only to have people go to great expense to save them.  The Lord reminded me of how people will gather together and stand again the cutting down of old trees or beautiful trees in certain areas.  Remember, He said, how after Ike, how upset the people were at all the trees that were lost on the island.  How they used the wood from the trees to carve beautiful things to remember the trees by.  We treasure trees, want to protect them.  And yet, abortion rates grow every year.  Babies, beautiful creations of the Lord, aborted, not wanted, mistakes.  There are no mistakes when babies have been conceived.  They are children of the Lord, He has plans for each one.  And then the Lord told me that these babies, these babies are what the enemy uses most to persecute and hold His grown children captive to sin.  They just cannot seem to get over what they did, and the enemy uses this to keep them chained down, defeated.  Away from Him, their forgiving Father.

Then He told me that so many of His children were neglected because they were not beautiful, not special.  Children were made fun of if they were not pretty to look at, if they were not perfect, they were teased, some so much they wanted to die, and some did.  He reminded me of years ago how He had to work with me to get me over the illness I had inside when I was confronted with someone that had a disease.  It is humbling for me to tell you these things.  But the Lord tells me I am not that person any longer, that He worked hard with me to overcome what I would go through.  When I would be confronted with someone that has a disease, disfigurement, or even elderly people in a nursing home, I would physically get ill.  It was so upsetting to me.  I came to realize it was because I could not do anything to help them and it would just make me ill.  I worked in a department as the main clerk for the manager at one time.  There was a man there with MS, yes, he was teased a lot.  He drolled, sometimes spit when he spoke, but he was a very nice man.  But it still made me a little ill, as there was nothing I could do.  Well, the Lord wanted to show me there was something I could do, but He had to get me over how I handled this.  The men that worked with this man kept telling him that his vacation had been cancelled. I was the one that kept the calendar on the men's vacations, and everyday he would come to my office for almost three weeks before his vacation to make sure it was not cancelled.  At the end of the three weeks, I could look him straight in the face, smile with love in my heart and assure him that no one had cancelled his vacation.  The Father is so faithful to make sure He can walk you through whatever problem you have, to glorify His Name.  I spent so many years feeling so ashamed of how sick I would get, so horrified at my feelings, the enemy using it to keep me from the joy of knowing these beautiful and wonderful people.  The Father healed me by using my friend at work to stay in front of me until I could see the beauty inside him.  Precious man.

The Lord showed me how people will shore up a fragile tree so it can get a good start by supporting it on all sides to hold it upright; how they will painstakenly water, prune, and gentle protect their trees to see that they have a good start.  He told me, how many of my children get the same treatment.  Little children are so often neglected, pushed aside for lack of time, lack of interest by their parents, teachers, friends, church groups.  Yes, even church groups can be insensitive to some children, to some grownups also.  When some are shy, they are not treated the same way as, well, someone that is outgoing and makes themself noticed.  These are the ones that need our attention more.  They need the love, the nuturing love that the Lord puts in us to give them.

I don't believe I can look at trees anymore without seeing all the children of the Lord that are neglected, abused, unloved, in need of one hand, one smile, one greeting of love.  My Lord, I thank You for Your words to me today.  I am humbled, once again, at Your using me to spread Your word, to share what You have given me today.  Let me always offer that smile, that hand of friendship, that love so freely given me to share with all God's children.

You are my Lord, my Beloved Lord, who I love more than my life.  I commit myself to being used by You, my God, in anyway you please, let me be always worthy (my God, how I want to be worthy of You, how I desire to be pleasing to You).  Nothing is more important to me that pleasing You Lord. Let me always be sensitive to Your heart, Your wondrous works and creations, be it a tree, the sky, cloud formations, and most especially, all Your children.  Your precious children.  Keep in me a right spirit, my Lord, an open mind, a loving heart, dedicated to You, to Your plan for me to serve You.

I love You, Lord.  This 14th day of May, 2011, my heart is overflowing with love for You, desire to be in Your presence always, wanting more and more of You, less and less of me.

CHOSEN

Matthew 22:14  "For many are invited, but few are chosen."

Wondering today about what I am doing for the Lord.  Why was I chosen to do the things the Lord has me doing?  Sometimes I think my Lord gets a little weary of me constantly asking all these questions, and at other times I feel He likes that I think of these things.  But I truly was wondering why chose me?  I know I was called by Him to work where I do, as I give comfort and encouragement to others there.  I know He called me to write my blog, each night for a year, after that I don't know what He will tell me about that.  I know I am to have it bound at the end of the year for family and some friends. But after that year, I don't know if He still wants me to do it. I guess I will find out.  I believe a lot of the every night for a year is about obedience, and dedication to Him.  Making what He told me to do a priority. But I am wandering again.

I know the Lord has me sharing what He gives me with a number of people.  Even in church, He calls me to do things I would never do on my own.  I feel as though some people just look at me sometimes, kind of just tolerating me, wondering where I get such stuff to say, wondering how I know some things. Thinking what makes her think she can do this or that.  I was pretty unsure of what I was doing there for a while.  I just knew the Lord told me to do it, called me to follow Him and obey His instructions for me, for my life.  God is so good to me. He sent me confirmation of what I was doing through several friends.  One told me that I should never let other people deter me or put down what God was doing in me.  They told me that the enemy was using these people to keep me from doing my Father's work.  I think that is true in a lot of our cases.  The enemy, when he can't get to us, will use those around us, friends, family members, to try to put what we are doing for the Lord down, to discourage us. 

But when you know the Lord is calling you to His service, to His ministry, you know in your spirit that it is true.  The Holy Spirit will not lie to you. He will lead you into what the Lord is calling you to.  You will know you are called by the fact that you will be changed from the inside out.  Your behavior will change, you will flow in the spirit of the Lord no matter what you are doing. People will see that flow of the Lord's spirit through you and there is no denying that you have a calling.  When my Lord called me to be His worshiper, He changed me.  He took a singer, someone who sang on the Praise and Worship team and made a worshiper out of me.  Now I don't sing on the team, I worship on the team.  I now help to lead worship.  And that worship is in me constantly, all day, at night when I awake, I worship my Lord.  The Lord called me to worship and He trained me how to worship like He required, into what would please Him, and I followed into what He had for me to do.

My Lord is giving me strength and enpowering to minister to people when asked.  If it is speaking to one person, or to a dozen or more, when it is what He determines, there is no fear, no nervousness, just knowledge that this is what my Lord wants me to do.  The Lord makes available all I need to do what He calls me to, He makes it available to everyone He calls....but not all want what is offered, what He wants to give them.  The cost is too great.  Not everyone who is invited is called.  Invited is one thing.  The Lord invites us all, but unless we are willing to lay down everything of this world, to follow after only Him, we will not be called.  When we are invited to "come", it is necessary that we do so willingly, excited to follow our Lord, to serve Him alone.  But unless we rid ourselves of the old man, totally give all unto the Lord, we will not be called.  We will not be chosen.    For example, lets say a bride to be calls all her friends to come to her house to talk about being bridesmaids.  They all know she can only chose so many, but they come. When the bride tells them the expenses involved, the amount of time it will take, the personal things they will have to give up during this time to help with all the planning of the wedding, well, then it takes on a different tale.  So many will then decide they don't want to give what it will take to do this, so they will not be chosen. Inability to commit oneself totally will result in not being chosen.  The Lord will not share His chosen with the world.

So now I am chosen by my Lord, my precious Lord.  I commit everything I have to my Lord's service, to His ministry.  What He has given me to do I know will increase as He sees me faithful in these things, I know He will add to what I have.  I want to do all I can for Him, I want to please Him with my life, with who He has made me to be.  My Beloved Lord, I give myself unto You, today, tomorrow, for eternity.  I love being Your chosen.  You have honored me, my King.  The most important chosing that I have been chosen for, is to be in the Bride of Christ.  Humbled before my Lord, I am so humbled by Him to be His Chosen.

This 13th day of May, 2011, my Lord, my precious Lord, thank You for chosing me, Your servant to serve, honor and worship You.  Chosen to be Your Bride.