Psalm 37:7 "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicket schemes."
Father, I was so happy for this day to be over. What a day. I know that nothing goes to waste and there was something in this day that You will use to teach me lessons that I need to know; something that will bring me to a deeper understanding of what You are doing in me; but Lord, I just do not like being put in these types of situations. Yes, Father, Yes, You know that. Okay, You got me here. You always know what my day will be like. Such a sense of humor Lord, yes, I am smiling too. You knew this would happen today and I was to experience another humbling test. I am not too sure how it looked to You, Lord. I did like the way I reacted to things today.
The work of the Holy Spirit in me is difficult, Lord. I struggle with trying to be just what You wish me to be, what I want to be in You. I stay concerned that I fail You, that I disappoint You....I know I disappoint myself so many times. Oh, Father, I need You so much. How long will I keep struggling instead of just giving it all to You. I don't know why I still attempt to work it out myself....I know I cannot do anything without You. Forgive me....forgive me.
I wait for You, my Lord; I wait for You. Just to be still before You and know that You are here with me. Just to be still and realize, once again, realize that You will never leave me, You are not going to leave me. Your strength as You breath fresh life into me, I am taken back by Your strength. You pour it into my spirit, lifting me up from the depths of the criticism I place on my self, the "how could I's", the "are you capable of this" and all the other doubts that hit my mind today. I am nothing without You Lord. I cannot do the things I need to do without Your constant guidance, sweet Holy Spirit, I need You, I need You.
Thank You, Lord, for Your understanding love; for Your words of encouragement to me, lifting me up to You, making me teachable, keeping me pliable in You. Move me Lord in the direction You would have me go; mold me into the kind of woman that You want me to be. Lord, I pray for my self, for my own ideas and thoughts to be replaced with only Your ideas and thoughts; nothing of me, all of You. I know You will take me and make me what You will if I just get out of the way. I AM my own worse enemy at times. Yes, Father, the human nature is hard to rid one's self of, I can only do this through You, Lord. Only through You.
Your peace, once again, is pouring out over me, Your grace causing me to relax into Your arms, rest in You so I can be restored. Is it only me, Lord, that You have to restore each night. I call You and You never fail to be with me. But I do think about the day, Father,when I will call You to myself, to come and be with me when there is no need for restoring me; I will have become so close to You, I will have become truly one with You, and it will give You rest in me as I rest in You. I love You so.
My Savior, I love You. Words fail at times like this when there is so much I want to say, when I want to express myself to tell You how worthy You are, how much I adore You; words fail. Please look inside my heart, Lord, and see the words that sing out to You there, words of praise, honor, loving worship....all for You.
This 7th day of October, I give my all to You, Lord. I rest in You and am still because I know that You love me.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
SAVOR THE MOMENT
Isaiah 45:8 "You heavens above, rain down righteousness; let the clouds shower it down. Let the earth open wide, let salvation spring up, let righteousness grow with it; I, the Lord, have created it."
The presence of You, my Lord, how precious.....what humility comes upon me when I feel Your beauty, when I smell the sweet fragrance of Your love surrounding me; like fresh rain falling on a dry land, drinking up all the living water of Your grace.....I don't want You to leave, I desire for You to stay. I bask in the moments that You are with me, that Your spirit takes residence within my own. Then I fill Your presence lift. And although I know You are still near, Your presence has moved a little further. This reminds me of the Song of Songs, the Bride asking the Bridegroom where He has gone, keeping her seeking Him with all her heart, all her soul. And when Your presence lifts, I, even knowing that you are still near, began seeking Your presence, seeking Your face.....yearning for You, loving You. The moment, once upon me, now gone. The feeling, the knowing of Your presence, savored for a long time.
How could I possible forget the beauty of a sunrise, knowing that Your hand moved across the sky and colored it just so. How many look at the sunrise and never see You in it, Lord; never see that no where could this brilliance in the sun coming up could only be set into place by the Creator. And at the end of the day, when that same sun sets, purple, rose, navy, yellow, sometimes orange. So striking but yet all the colors melt together in such glory, such a magnificent array of splendor, once again, only coming from Your touch. What beauty is given for our pleasure. A moment that will never be repeated as each sunrise and sunset are different, never repeating, always bringing glory to You, my Lord. And I savor each one that I witness, knowing the Artist, knowing Him personally.
Tears of joy flow when I feel Your presence, my God. I have not known Your presence that my body does not feel overwhelmed, almost bursting with joy and sweet tears flow as I know You are here. Tears that I know You see, those tears that You know are from pure joy, heartfelt joy at Your presence, Your flowing peace that comes down on me, that totally restoring grace that accompanies Your presence; those tears savored by You as they are a part of me expressing my love for You. A moment in time that seals our love, seals it for eternity.
Each moment spent in Your presence, Lord, moments of joy, moments of peace, moments captured in my memory, saved to recall as I wait on You to pour out on me again, Your precious presence. This 6th day of October, 2011, I am savoring the moments, the memories you plant in my heart, in my soul. You never leave me empty, always filled with Your love and joy; but You do always leave me wanting more of You, desiring the sweetness of Your touch and the beauty of Your fragrant love. I am totally and completely in love with You, my Beloved Bridegroom.
The presence of You, my Lord, how precious.....what humility comes upon me when I feel Your beauty, when I smell the sweet fragrance of Your love surrounding me; like fresh rain falling on a dry land, drinking up all the living water of Your grace.....I don't want You to leave, I desire for You to stay. I bask in the moments that You are with me, that Your spirit takes residence within my own. Then I fill Your presence lift. And although I know You are still near, Your presence has moved a little further. This reminds me of the Song of Songs, the Bride asking the Bridegroom where He has gone, keeping her seeking Him with all her heart, all her soul. And when Your presence lifts, I, even knowing that you are still near, began seeking Your presence, seeking Your face.....yearning for You, loving You. The moment, once upon me, now gone. The feeling, the knowing of Your presence, savored for a long time.
How could I possible forget the beauty of a sunrise, knowing that Your hand moved across the sky and colored it just so. How many look at the sunrise and never see You in it, Lord; never see that no where could this brilliance in the sun coming up could only be set into place by the Creator. And at the end of the day, when that same sun sets, purple, rose, navy, yellow, sometimes orange. So striking but yet all the colors melt together in such glory, such a magnificent array of splendor, once again, only coming from Your touch. What beauty is given for our pleasure. A moment that will never be repeated as each sunrise and sunset are different, never repeating, always bringing glory to You, my Lord. And I savor each one that I witness, knowing the Artist, knowing Him personally.
Tears of joy flow when I feel Your presence, my God. I have not known Your presence that my body does not feel overwhelmed, almost bursting with joy and sweet tears flow as I know You are here. Tears that I know You see, those tears that You know are from pure joy, heartfelt joy at Your presence, Your flowing peace that comes down on me, that totally restoring grace that accompanies Your presence; those tears savored by You as they are a part of me expressing my love for You. A moment in time that seals our love, seals it for eternity.
Each moment spent in Your presence, Lord, moments of joy, moments of peace, moments captured in my memory, saved to recall as I wait on You to pour out on me again, Your precious presence. This 6th day of October, 2011, I am savoring the moments, the memories you plant in my heart, in my soul. You never leave me empty, always filled with Your love and joy; but You do always leave me wanting more of You, desiring the sweetness of Your touch and the beauty of Your fragrant love. I am totally and completely in love with You, my Beloved Bridegroom.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
AND THEN THEY SHALL KNOW
Hebrews 12:26-27 "At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, "Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens." The words "once more" indicate the removing of what can be shaken,, that is, created things; so what cannot be shaken may remain."
Are you not astonished at the masses of people that still chose to refuse to believe that the Lord is returning for His Bride? I think they perhaps know, think that someday this may be so, but they believe they have all the time in the world, so they will simply continue on as they have been living, and, well, there is time. I am not a theologian, so far from it, I only know what the Lord shows me in His Word and what He puts in my heart; but, all the things going on, how can you not take notice, people. Wars and rumors of wars, nations will rise up against nations, famines and earthquakes. Christians will be put to death for not denying the Lord.....where will you stand when this comes to you. Don't believe it will happen? There will be false prophets....we are seeing these people rise up almost on a daily basis, bringing all is well messages, messages of prosperity, that the Lord will not condemn anyone to hell as it is not His loving nature. Yes, I realize this is harsh, but I must obey my Father.
That is one of the problems I believe, is obedience to the Father. If we are to be obedient, we must then give the message as He gives it to us, we should never whitewash the Words of the Lord to make it more palatible, ministers must not smooth over the rough places in order to keep their attendance up; and I agree, most people do not like to get their toes stepped on. They would much prefer to hear that their lives are okay, the fact that they live in the world six days a week and enjoy all the world has to offer them and on Sunday go to church so they will have a well rounded appearance for their lives. Where will they hear the truth unless it is told them when they do go to church? You can be assured they are not listening to Christian radio or TV. I have been so blessed to be in churches where the pastors are more afraid of not telling the truth that the Lord give them than they are about people leaving to go somewhere where they will not have to be uncomfortable about their life style. And the pulpit leaders, spiritual leaders, worship leaders....are they truly lead of God, or are they just performers, doing their part on Sunday, but living another life entirely all week long. Oh, Father, this is hard.....no, I will not be guilty of that. The Lord is asking me if I will sweeten His words also, but no, I will not. Nor will I ask forgiveness for giving this as He is giving it to me.
The earth will shake, it will be emptied of everything that does not stand under the protection of Almighty God. There will not be time to decide on that day what you will do. That decision has to be made before that day arrives as you will be so taken in fear, there will be no peace of the Lord within you, no confidence in His Word, no knowing that You are in His care.....fear will prevail in your heart and perhaps, regret, shame, heartache as you watch your children, who you did not raise in the Lord, destroyed by the things of earth, the ways of man.
Heaven will open and the King of Glory will descend on a white horse, the Lord of Lords, Faithful and True, the holy Word of God will come to establish Himself as ruler of His people. And then they shall know; all shall know that what they had heard, what they had read, what they probably knew in their hearts was true. It is time to strip away pride, false security, self, and give way to the Lord, the precious Savior that died for each of us, no one over the other, but each of us the same, with the same love and mercy for all; time to proclaim Him Lord over your life, over your home, over your children. Time to give your heart to Jesus, asking forgiveness of the way you have put Him aside so you would not have to make that decision just yet....what are you waiting for? Is your life so good, really? Don't worry about what people may say, what they will think.....there is only One whose opinion matters, just the One. He loves you so, He is Lord of all. You know He is....surrender now, today.
My Lord God, thank You for trusting me with Your message. I live to do Your will, Father. Obey. Trust. Love. Words You have told me, given me from Your heart...the things that matter. I must obey You at all times, not worry about man; I must trust You as You will never fail me; and love....I must love others with the same love You pour out to me. This 5th day of October, I give myself to You, my Lord. Any part of me that has not completely surrendered, I surrender this day. I do not want to ever doubt in any way that I am not in Your will, Your grace. I look for You, my Lord, for Your return, for Your precious return for Your Bride....I pray others will heed Your Word and not wait....for then they shall truly know....Your Word, Your Truth.
Are you not astonished at the masses of people that still chose to refuse to believe that the Lord is returning for His Bride? I think they perhaps know, think that someday this may be so, but they believe they have all the time in the world, so they will simply continue on as they have been living, and, well, there is time. I am not a theologian, so far from it, I only know what the Lord shows me in His Word and what He puts in my heart; but, all the things going on, how can you not take notice, people. Wars and rumors of wars, nations will rise up against nations, famines and earthquakes. Christians will be put to death for not denying the Lord.....where will you stand when this comes to you. Don't believe it will happen? There will be false prophets....we are seeing these people rise up almost on a daily basis, bringing all is well messages, messages of prosperity, that the Lord will not condemn anyone to hell as it is not His loving nature. Yes, I realize this is harsh, but I must obey my Father.
That is one of the problems I believe, is obedience to the Father. If we are to be obedient, we must then give the message as He gives it to us, we should never whitewash the Words of the Lord to make it more palatible, ministers must not smooth over the rough places in order to keep their attendance up; and I agree, most people do not like to get their toes stepped on. They would much prefer to hear that their lives are okay, the fact that they live in the world six days a week and enjoy all the world has to offer them and on Sunday go to church so they will have a well rounded appearance for their lives. Where will they hear the truth unless it is told them when they do go to church? You can be assured they are not listening to Christian radio or TV. I have been so blessed to be in churches where the pastors are more afraid of not telling the truth that the Lord give them than they are about people leaving to go somewhere where they will not have to be uncomfortable about their life style. And the pulpit leaders, spiritual leaders, worship leaders....are they truly lead of God, or are they just performers, doing their part on Sunday, but living another life entirely all week long. Oh, Father, this is hard.....no, I will not be guilty of that. The Lord is asking me if I will sweeten His words also, but no, I will not. Nor will I ask forgiveness for giving this as He is giving it to me.
The earth will shake, it will be emptied of everything that does not stand under the protection of Almighty God. There will not be time to decide on that day what you will do. That decision has to be made before that day arrives as you will be so taken in fear, there will be no peace of the Lord within you, no confidence in His Word, no knowing that You are in His care.....fear will prevail in your heart and perhaps, regret, shame, heartache as you watch your children, who you did not raise in the Lord, destroyed by the things of earth, the ways of man.
Heaven will open and the King of Glory will descend on a white horse, the Lord of Lords, Faithful and True, the holy Word of God will come to establish Himself as ruler of His people. And then they shall know; all shall know that what they had heard, what they had read, what they probably knew in their hearts was true. It is time to strip away pride, false security, self, and give way to the Lord, the precious Savior that died for each of us, no one over the other, but each of us the same, with the same love and mercy for all; time to proclaim Him Lord over your life, over your home, over your children. Time to give your heart to Jesus, asking forgiveness of the way you have put Him aside so you would not have to make that decision just yet....what are you waiting for? Is your life so good, really? Don't worry about what people may say, what they will think.....there is only One whose opinion matters, just the One. He loves you so, He is Lord of all. You know He is....surrender now, today.
My Lord God, thank You for trusting me with Your message. I live to do Your will, Father. Obey. Trust. Love. Words You have told me, given me from Your heart...the things that matter. I must obey You at all times, not worry about man; I must trust You as You will never fail me; and love....I must love others with the same love You pour out to me. This 5th day of October, I give myself to You, my Lord. Any part of me that has not completely surrendered, I surrender this day. I do not want to ever doubt in any way that I am not in Your will, Your grace. I look for You, my Lord, for Your return, for Your precious return for Your Bride....I pray others will heed Your Word and not wait....for then they shall truly know....Your Word, Your Truth.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
LOSING ME TO FIND YOU
Deuteronomy 4:29 "But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul."
Hard as I try, each day, each time, crying out to You, my God, to cleanse all of me away, not to let my flesh overtake my thoughts; still they find a way to sometimes prevail. I seek to do Your will each day, I do not want my will but Yours and I believe in this I am gaining strength. When my mind and thoughts begin to make plans, have ideas of what I should do, I am recognizing this and rebuke it in the Name of Jesus, Your Son. I have conditioned my mind to wait, to wait for Your will for me. I know, Lord, I have more work to do there also, but You are giving me grace to do so.
I seek Your presence, my Lord. From the time I wake in the morning until I rest at night, Your presence, Your thoughts, Your will for me, I seek. I do not want to find my way alone, I want to walk with You, along the path You have made for me. This is so difficult to write as I know so often I fail, even though I want Your will more than life, Your presence more than breath, but this fleshy body I live in, my mind can wonder and cause me to grieve. I believe that is the only cause of grief to me now is when I fail to be the child You want me to be. Yes, Lord, I am listening for Your voice now. Yes, I know You love me. I am not grieving You? Only me? But sometimes Lord, I don't find You when I seek You. Yes, You are still there.....Yes, I hear You.....I must hunger for You more than anything, more than anything in me. I must lose what there is left in me of selfish desires for man's approval, thoughts of who I am in this world; only be concerned with who I am in You. Yes, Lord. I try Lord, but sometimes these thoughts still come, and I fight pride so hard. I was raised to be proud of accomplishments, of who I was, of achievements. It is hard, but I am trying to rid myself of me, trying so hard. Yes, Lord, I know I am so special to You, Your beloved child; I know You give me favor on earth, and so many blessings, I lose count. So much, so undeserved, especially when I find myself still so full of me.
Holy Spirit, I need You so much. Please help me to change, to get rid of all the things that I have been accustomed to thinking, to the way I was raised to think of myself, give me humility, give me a servant's heart, a true servant's heart, seeking to serve my Lord alone, not for myself, but to glorify Him alone. I want to be emptied of all of me so I can be filled with all of You my Lord. All You and no me. I want to walk with You. With You. Deservingly, appreciating Your beauty, Your thoughts, with no thoughts of self, just thoughts of You. Of Your Majesty, of Your Wondrous Majesty. I only want to find You in me, Lord. When I think, I want Your thoughts to come to my mind. When I look at something or at someone, I want to see them with Your eyes. When I love, I want it to be Your love pouring through me, Your mercy do I want to give, Your grace. Nothing in me, Lord, but You.
This 4th day of October, 2011, my God, my Beloved Lord, all I want is You. I love You so much; I desire to be in Your presence, knowing that I can be there because I have given all of myself to You; because I have put the desires of the flesh aside, because I have lost myself in You, You alone, not the world. I want to find You in everything I say or do, I want to find You.
Hard as I try, each day, each time, crying out to You, my God, to cleanse all of me away, not to let my flesh overtake my thoughts; still they find a way to sometimes prevail. I seek to do Your will each day, I do not want my will but Yours and I believe in this I am gaining strength. When my mind and thoughts begin to make plans, have ideas of what I should do, I am recognizing this and rebuke it in the Name of Jesus, Your Son. I have conditioned my mind to wait, to wait for Your will for me. I know, Lord, I have more work to do there also, but You are giving me grace to do so.
I seek Your presence, my Lord. From the time I wake in the morning until I rest at night, Your presence, Your thoughts, Your will for me, I seek. I do not want to find my way alone, I want to walk with You, along the path You have made for me. This is so difficult to write as I know so often I fail, even though I want Your will more than life, Your presence more than breath, but this fleshy body I live in, my mind can wonder and cause me to grieve. I believe that is the only cause of grief to me now is when I fail to be the child You want me to be. Yes, Lord, I am listening for Your voice now. Yes, I know You love me. I am not grieving You? Only me? But sometimes Lord, I don't find You when I seek You. Yes, You are still there.....Yes, I hear You.....I must hunger for You more than anything, more than anything in me. I must lose what there is left in me of selfish desires for man's approval, thoughts of who I am in this world; only be concerned with who I am in You. Yes, Lord. I try Lord, but sometimes these thoughts still come, and I fight pride so hard. I was raised to be proud of accomplishments, of who I was, of achievements. It is hard, but I am trying to rid myself of me, trying so hard. Yes, Lord, I know I am so special to You, Your beloved child; I know You give me favor on earth, and so many blessings, I lose count. So much, so undeserved, especially when I find myself still so full of me.
Holy Spirit, I need You so much. Please help me to change, to get rid of all the things that I have been accustomed to thinking, to the way I was raised to think of myself, give me humility, give me a servant's heart, a true servant's heart, seeking to serve my Lord alone, not for myself, but to glorify Him alone. I want to be emptied of all of me so I can be filled with all of You my Lord. All You and no me. I want to walk with You. With You. Deservingly, appreciating Your beauty, Your thoughts, with no thoughts of self, just thoughts of You. Of Your Majesty, of Your Wondrous Majesty. I only want to find You in me, Lord. When I think, I want Your thoughts to come to my mind. When I look at something or at someone, I want to see them with Your eyes. When I love, I want it to be Your love pouring through me, Your mercy do I want to give, Your grace. Nothing in me, Lord, but You.
This 4th day of October, 2011, my God, my Beloved Lord, all I want is You. I love You so much; I desire to be in Your presence, knowing that I can be there because I have given all of myself to You; because I have put the desires of the flesh aside, because I have lost myself in You, You alone, not the world. I want to find You in everything I say or do, I want to find You.
Monday, October 3, 2011
THE VALLEY OF DECISION
Joel 3:14 "Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision! For the day of the Lord is near in the valley of decision."
Most decisions, and I believe the lasting decisions come from the valley of one's life. Many people make a real decision to call out to the Lord with their whole heart while in a valley, a deep, dark, soul-wrenching valley. So many know the Lord, but not intimately. They have been raised in church, consider themselves to be a Christian and go to church every Sunday. It is the way they were raised, it is what they have always done, and so this is what they do. They also go to work everyday, they also bowl or play golf each week, have their hair done weekly, have lunch with friends, and probably have a night they visit with family. This is done without fail, each week, each month, each year. This is what is called a routine. This is their life, calenderized, so nothing changes, can't leave anything out, day in, day out. Routine.
If your life is on a schedule that is the same week after week, what happens when the Lord wants to interrupt this with a plan He has made for you. What do you do when the Lord injects His wishes for you to spend some time with Him. Perhaps go to a special night of worship or fellowship that He has arranged just for you? Do you know the Lord so desires to spend time with you, He will orchestrate a special night just to have you attend, so He can have some real time with you. As a friend has said so many times, the Lord has known from before you were born that you would be in a certain seat, on a certain night, in a certain church, right where He wanted to put you, so you would hear just the words He wanted you to hear, words that would draw you into His presence, so He could woo you to Himself. He will take this time, through this speaker, or musician, to make you feel so lost in yourself, so alone, so desperate for His company that you will cry out to Him. You will have such a hunger in you that you will begin to cry out words of worship and praise to Him, to give Him deep, heartfelt, truthful worship. You will forget who you are, what you had planned for the moment you left the service, as you only set aside so much time to be here as you had your routine to keep. But you can't leave, you can't do anything but weep and worship the Lord. Then the service is over, and you are spent, physically and emotionally spent. You have never had such a reaction in church before, you don't understand what happened; all you know is that it left you feeling so satisfied, so in love with the Lord. You know in your heart that the Lord was there, that He held you in His arms, that His love is real. You are invited to return tomorrow night for another night's service.
You go home, too emotionally drained to do what you had planned. And then you see the calendar, with it's filled spaces of this event, this activity, tomorrow night is full. You begin to sink into your routine mode, the thoughts in your mind taking over, you have this to do, you have that. You begin to sink deep into dispair. You cannot understand why you are feeling so low. It is your spirit. Your mind is taking control, once again, silencing your spirit that is telling you, "tomorrow night, there is another night you can worship the Lord, that you can go into His presence again, be with Him".
The valley of decision. What will you do. Will you stiffle the beautiful Holy Spirit within you, remember Him? The sweet Holy Spirit that the Lord sent to dwell in you, comfort you, guide you, lead you into His presence. Will you stiffle the urging of God's Spirit drawing you back to the service, back to His presence, so you can keep up the routine that is expected of you, the world's schedule, or will you get off that fast track to misery and dispair and follow the leading of the Spirit.
The Lord will not decide for you; it is your choice. You can probably ignore the prompting of the Holy Spirit until one day you will truly be desperate for the Lord, and then He will, of course, welcome you with His open arms of love. He won't turn you away. But you will realize, when you completely let Him engulf you in His loving arms, showering you with His blessings of mercy, grace and joy, His perfect peace; you will realize how much you have missed, what times like these you have wasted, thrown away, with the wrong decision; with delaying the decision to be with the Lord,
My Father, my God, thank You for drawing me to You so long it seems now, but I know it was only not quite two years ago I was in the valley of decision. I knew I was a Christian, but I had my Christian routine, so much to do, so little time. But You did not stop until You sat me in a service, told me I was home, and held me as I made my decision to come out of the valley and up on the mountain with You. This 3rd day of October, I am praising You with my whole heart knowing what a life you have given me; what rewards there has been since my decision was made to follow only You; not church, not people, but only YOU, my Lord God, only YOU.
Most decisions, and I believe the lasting decisions come from the valley of one's life. Many people make a real decision to call out to the Lord with their whole heart while in a valley, a deep, dark, soul-wrenching valley. So many know the Lord, but not intimately. They have been raised in church, consider themselves to be a Christian and go to church every Sunday. It is the way they were raised, it is what they have always done, and so this is what they do. They also go to work everyday, they also bowl or play golf each week, have their hair done weekly, have lunch with friends, and probably have a night they visit with family. This is done without fail, each week, each month, each year. This is what is called a routine. This is their life, calenderized, so nothing changes, can't leave anything out, day in, day out. Routine.
If your life is on a schedule that is the same week after week, what happens when the Lord wants to interrupt this with a plan He has made for you. What do you do when the Lord injects His wishes for you to spend some time with Him. Perhaps go to a special night of worship or fellowship that He has arranged just for you? Do you know the Lord so desires to spend time with you, He will orchestrate a special night just to have you attend, so He can have some real time with you. As a friend has said so many times, the Lord has known from before you were born that you would be in a certain seat, on a certain night, in a certain church, right where He wanted to put you, so you would hear just the words He wanted you to hear, words that would draw you into His presence, so He could woo you to Himself. He will take this time, through this speaker, or musician, to make you feel so lost in yourself, so alone, so desperate for His company that you will cry out to Him. You will have such a hunger in you that you will begin to cry out words of worship and praise to Him, to give Him deep, heartfelt, truthful worship. You will forget who you are, what you had planned for the moment you left the service, as you only set aside so much time to be here as you had your routine to keep. But you can't leave, you can't do anything but weep and worship the Lord. Then the service is over, and you are spent, physically and emotionally spent. You have never had such a reaction in church before, you don't understand what happened; all you know is that it left you feeling so satisfied, so in love with the Lord. You know in your heart that the Lord was there, that He held you in His arms, that His love is real. You are invited to return tomorrow night for another night's service.
You go home, too emotionally drained to do what you had planned. And then you see the calendar, with it's filled spaces of this event, this activity, tomorrow night is full. You begin to sink into your routine mode, the thoughts in your mind taking over, you have this to do, you have that. You begin to sink deep into dispair. You cannot understand why you are feeling so low. It is your spirit. Your mind is taking control, once again, silencing your spirit that is telling you, "tomorrow night, there is another night you can worship the Lord, that you can go into His presence again, be with Him".
The valley of decision. What will you do. Will you stiffle the beautiful Holy Spirit within you, remember Him? The sweet Holy Spirit that the Lord sent to dwell in you, comfort you, guide you, lead you into His presence. Will you stiffle the urging of God's Spirit drawing you back to the service, back to His presence, so you can keep up the routine that is expected of you, the world's schedule, or will you get off that fast track to misery and dispair and follow the leading of the Spirit.
The Lord will not decide for you; it is your choice. You can probably ignore the prompting of the Holy Spirit until one day you will truly be desperate for the Lord, and then He will, of course, welcome you with His open arms of love. He won't turn you away. But you will realize, when you completely let Him engulf you in His loving arms, showering you with His blessings of mercy, grace and joy, His perfect peace; you will realize how much you have missed, what times like these you have wasted, thrown away, with the wrong decision; with delaying the decision to be with the Lord,
My Father, my God, thank You for drawing me to You so long it seems now, but I know it was only not quite two years ago I was in the valley of decision. I knew I was a Christian, but I had my Christian routine, so much to do, so little time. But You did not stop until You sat me in a service, told me I was home, and held me as I made my decision to come out of the valley and up on the mountain with You. This 3rd day of October, I am praising You with my whole heart knowing what a life you have given me; what rewards there has been since my decision was made to follow only You; not church, not people, but only YOU, my Lord God, only YOU.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
LEARNING THE WAYS OF GOD
2 Timothy 2:15 "Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth."
How long, Father, before I no longer make these mistakes, these things that the enemy takes such glee at taunting me with. I want to be the child You want me to be, to be the one who does everything just the way You plan for me to, just the way You want me to. I try, You know I try, dear Lord, each day, refreshed from the rest You give me, the restoring of my body through this rest, fresh mercies, I am ready for what the world brings as I know You are with me. And yet, something always manages to trip me up. Not always, but more times than I like. Still the enemy can drop thoughts into my head. Most of the time, I can reject them right away, but sometimes.....sometimes they linger there enough to make me feel like such a mess. Just to give the enemy time to gloat thinking he has gotten me; but when I feel that condemnation, I quickly run to You, my Lord, for You to take that from me. But it sure would be nice if this wouldn't happen to me; if I could just learn Your ways, stay in the right lane on the path and not be subject to the gloating taunt of satan. Yes, Lord, You are showing me something....pride. I see it....pride. Ouch, that hurts. I did not think that would be what causes this.
The Lord is telling me that I should not let the taunts of satan bother me. He is telling me that it is a type of pride that wants to be free from these taunts. To think that I should not be bothered by these thoughts and attacks, that because I am a child of God this should not happen to me. My precious Jesus says that He had to endure the taunting of the enemy while He was on earth and I should never expect to be different, or to have things different for myself as long as I seek to walk after Him, to follow Him, to be His. Yes, Lord, I see; I will be tempted, tried and taunted by the enemy as long as I am physically on this earth. We all will, for these are the ways of the world. So, now, Lord, take me back to the beginning. Let me start again to learn; to draw from You, sweet Holy Spirit, the lessons of each day; guide me to become more each day like Jesus, walking in love and grace like my Lord. Give me Your strength my Lord, to walk each day in the knowledge of Your Word, living in You, letting Your Word pour through me like a river, never running dry; Your living Word, not a book, but Your living Word that restores me when I fall, refreshes new mercy on me each time as You lift me up and brush me off, telling me how much You love me, how You know I love You, and setting me back on the path again, each time further than where I was before as I have learned from each mistake, each fall.
Precious Lord, You are so beautiful to me. You give and You give and You keep giving to me Your love and grace, Your sweet joy, Your beautiful peace. As I receive from You, all I want to do is to return this love, this grace, this joy back to you in praise. I worship You, my Lord, my King, my Savior. There is no one like You, no one. This 2nd day of October, 2011, I lift my hands to You in worship, in praise, in adoration, my Jesus, my Lord. I will learn, as You let me sit at Your feet, loving being in Your presence, I know You will teach me more, each day, each moment to live in You, to walk in Your ways.
How long, Father, before I no longer make these mistakes, these things that the enemy takes such glee at taunting me with. I want to be the child You want me to be, to be the one who does everything just the way You plan for me to, just the way You want me to. I try, You know I try, dear Lord, each day, refreshed from the rest You give me, the restoring of my body through this rest, fresh mercies, I am ready for what the world brings as I know You are with me. And yet, something always manages to trip me up. Not always, but more times than I like. Still the enemy can drop thoughts into my head. Most of the time, I can reject them right away, but sometimes.....sometimes they linger there enough to make me feel like such a mess. Just to give the enemy time to gloat thinking he has gotten me; but when I feel that condemnation, I quickly run to You, my Lord, for You to take that from me. But it sure would be nice if this wouldn't happen to me; if I could just learn Your ways, stay in the right lane on the path and not be subject to the gloating taunt of satan. Yes, Lord, You are showing me something....pride. I see it....pride. Ouch, that hurts. I did not think that would be what causes this.
The Lord is telling me that I should not let the taunts of satan bother me. He is telling me that it is a type of pride that wants to be free from these taunts. To think that I should not be bothered by these thoughts and attacks, that because I am a child of God this should not happen to me. My precious Jesus says that He had to endure the taunting of the enemy while He was on earth and I should never expect to be different, or to have things different for myself as long as I seek to walk after Him, to follow Him, to be His. Yes, Lord, I see; I will be tempted, tried and taunted by the enemy as long as I am physically on this earth. We all will, for these are the ways of the world. So, now, Lord, take me back to the beginning. Let me start again to learn; to draw from You, sweet Holy Spirit, the lessons of each day; guide me to become more each day like Jesus, walking in love and grace like my Lord. Give me Your strength my Lord, to walk each day in the knowledge of Your Word, living in You, letting Your Word pour through me like a river, never running dry; Your living Word, not a book, but Your living Word that restores me when I fall, refreshes new mercy on me each time as You lift me up and brush me off, telling me how much You love me, how You know I love You, and setting me back on the path again, each time further than where I was before as I have learned from each mistake, each fall.
Precious Lord, You are so beautiful to me. You give and You give and You keep giving to me Your love and grace, Your sweet joy, Your beautiful peace. As I receive from You, all I want to do is to return this love, this grace, this joy back to you in praise. I worship You, my Lord, my King, my Savior. There is no one like You, no one. This 2nd day of October, 2011, I lift my hands to You in worship, in praise, in adoration, my Jesus, my Lord. I will learn, as You let me sit at Your feet, loving being in Your presence, I know You will teach me more, each day, each moment to live in You, to walk in Your ways.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
YOUR LOVE STILL AMAZES ME
Jeremiah 31:3 "I have drawn you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness."
My Lord, my wonderful Lord, I can not move past Your presence these last few days. The realization You have given me, so tender and merciful, of Your love for me. No matter how I look at myself, no matter how irritated I get at myself for not being what I think, what I feel I should be at this time and place, You move all that aside in me to show me what is important....You love me with an everlasting love. What I do or do not do is not what makes You love me; it is who You are that makes You love me. The songs keep coming to me, "How can I keep from singing Your praise", and "Holy, Holy, Holy are You Lord". Just over and over, resounding in my spirit, Your wonderful Holiness, so Holy, so beautiful You are, my Lord, so beautiful.
For days now, I have been taken into a special place with You; I do not want to leave this place, so peaceful, so sweet. And now, Your presence fills the room as I try to type this, leaving me, leaving me powerless to do anything but sit, and wait until You allow me to continue. My God, my God, how precious You are. Words fail me now, as I am so aware of Your love. Coming home today, the enemy so active in thought piercing my mind, can you believe he put a thought of suicide in my mind. Just drive your car off the road, he said. What evil he can put in minds. I hate to think of this thought going into the mind of someone that doesn't know Your love, Lord. He just does not give up, no matter how I think he would quit trying to slip things in on me, he still does. I rebuked him instantly and asked Your precious Holy Spirit to put a safeguard on my mind, to reject these thoughts as soon as they come. Why would I contemplate something as this I told that evil one, how could I ever want to leave what You have for me here, the plans you have for me, Lord. Why would I even want to do this? As I am writing this, thinking perhaps I should remove it, You won't let me. It is for someone that will read this. I see, my Lord, it was so I would place it here. It was not meant for me at all; the thought was showing me someone else's mind. I see now, it happened to me as You knew I could reject those thoughts, secure in Your love; someone else perhaps not as secure might let these thoughts linger, causing them to question You, wonder if You loved them. Yes, Lord, I understand. You want those who read this to know without a doubt that You love them, unconditionally; they can do nothing too bad for You to love them, they will never be cast aside as long as they will call on You, You will lift them from whatever place that they think cannot be changed, and You will draw them to Yourself, taking that burden from them, loving them and forgiving; being their Savior, their Lord.
I wondered at the time Lord, why this thought was placed in my mind, now I see Your plan. You knew I would have to talk to You about it and You could give me the words for Your child that needed it. I know You will have that one right person read this. I may never know they read it and needed the message, but You know, and all I want to be, is a useful vessel for You.
If I may return now, Lord, to Your love for me, I am so blessed. Today having that thought in my mind for that instant, it reminded me of what real love is. Your love, the only real love I know. I love You, Lord, I love You passionately. This 1st day of October, 2011, this day ending this week, a week that has been so filled by Your presence, I still, my God, am amazed at Your powerful, wonderful, beautiful love for me.
My Lord, my wonderful Lord, I can not move past Your presence these last few days. The realization You have given me, so tender and merciful, of Your love for me. No matter how I look at myself, no matter how irritated I get at myself for not being what I think, what I feel I should be at this time and place, You move all that aside in me to show me what is important....You love me with an everlasting love. What I do or do not do is not what makes You love me; it is who You are that makes You love me. The songs keep coming to me, "How can I keep from singing Your praise", and "Holy, Holy, Holy are You Lord". Just over and over, resounding in my spirit, Your wonderful Holiness, so Holy, so beautiful You are, my Lord, so beautiful.
For days now, I have been taken into a special place with You; I do not want to leave this place, so peaceful, so sweet. And now, Your presence fills the room as I try to type this, leaving me, leaving me powerless to do anything but sit, and wait until You allow me to continue. My God, my God, how precious You are. Words fail me now, as I am so aware of Your love. Coming home today, the enemy so active in thought piercing my mind, can you believe he put a thought of suicide in my mind. Just drive your car off the road, he said. What evil he can put in minds. I hate to think of this thought going into the mind of someone that doesn't know Your love, Lord. He just does not give up, no matter how I think he would quit trying to slip things in on me, he still does. I rebuked him instantly and asked Your precious Holy Spirit to put a safeguard on my mind, to reject these thoughts as soon as they come. Why would I contemplate something as this I told that evil one, how could I ever want to leave what You have for me here, the plans you have for me, Lord. Why would I even want to do this? As I am writing this, thinking perhaps I should remove it, You won't let me. It is for someone that will read this. I see, my Lord, it was so I would place it here. It was not meant for me at all; the thought was showing me someone else's mind. I see now, it happened to me as You knew I could reject those thoughts, secure in Your love; someone else perhaps not as secure might let these thoughts linger, causing them to question You, wonder if You loved them. Yes, Lord, I understand. You want those who read this to know without a doubt that You love them, unconditionally; they can do nothing too bad for You to love them, they will never be cast aside as long as they will call on You, You will lift them from whatever place that they think cannot be changed, and You will draw them to Yourself, taking that burden from them, loving them and forgiving; being their Savior, their Lord.
I wondered at the time Lord, why this thought was placed in my mind, now I see Your plan. You knew I would have to talk to You about it and You could give me the words for Your child that needed it. I know You will have that one right person read this. I may never know they read it and needed the message, but You know, and all I want to be, is a useful vessel for You.
If I may return now, Lord, to Your love for me, I am so blessed. Today having that thought in my mind for that instant, it reminded me of what real love is. Your love, the only real love I know. I love You, Lord, I love You passionately. This 1st day of October, 2011, this day ending this week, a week that has been so filled by Your presence, I still, my God, am amazed at Your powerful, wonderful, beautiful love for me.
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