Luke 18:16-17 (The Message) "Jesus called them back. "Let these children alone. Don't get between them and me. These children are the kingdom's pride and joy. Mark this: Unless you accept God's kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you'll never get in."
Never have I seen so many miss the Lord as they tend to make things so hard and so difficult. I am a child compared to so many. I just choose to go the heart of the matter. It is not hard. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and be saved. Give yourself wholly unto the Lord, loving Him with all your heart, worship Him from the intermost depth of your being, live your life for Him, and that's it. You will have a beautiful relationship with Him, He will give you the desires of your heart, He will supply all your needs, and some of the wants also (He so wants to give you everything), and you can be assured of eternity with the King of Kings. So I will just be simple minded where my Lord is concerned. I don't ever want to make things so hard that it will even have me confused, much less confusing someone I am trying to win for the Lord.
But I really don't feel that this is where the Lord is taking this. My heart is overwhelmed with His presence. His presence was so evident at our ladies meeting earlier tonight. We had a simple meal of fruit, cheese and crackers and some sweets. Not a lot, but you know how we church people are, sharing any kind of meal together really gets the hearts warming with each other. We love to share meals together, big or small, fellowshipping together with the Lord. Such a wonderful time, always. After our meal, we had a teaching, words about worshiping our beloved Lord at all times, all year long, each day, loving on Him. Then we sang a couple of worship songs, and then one wonderful song, Shout for Joy. It was amazing how worshiping the Lord pours such joy into the hearts of ladies. They just feel the Lord's presence there as they worship and the joy just flowed. I was so blessesd.
Then, Lord, it was time for prayer. This is a must at our meetings as there are needs, always needs, Father. In this world, so filled with evil, the enemy running to and fro trying to see who he can harm, who he can destroy, yes, it is a must to pray. Tonight all the prayers were for other family members, extended family. Father, I know You were listening as Your presence could be felt so strongly in that home. People are hurting Lord. People everywhere needing You. I am more concerned for their salvation first, Father, then their healing. Lord, why do people cut themselves. How sad and lonely for them Lord that they would hurt themselves to cover the hurt they feel inside. Yes, I am a child, Lord, as I cannot conceive such pain. I just want to grab them and hold them in my arms and make the hurt go away, make they understand what love is, give them some happiness. And it is young people doing this Lord, who came up with this horrid thing....yes, Lord, I know, the enemy. And as much Lord, as I want to love them, protect them, make it right for them, I know it is not me that is needed. It is only You, my God, that is needed here. Nothing, no one but You, Lord, can make this right in the lives of all those who are hurting so badly that they do things like cut themselves, purge, do drugs, commit suicide. And so many are children. I think on terms of anyone under 25 as a child, Lord. Too young to know what real love is as so many are not shown any real love, no one has told them of the love You have for them, they have no one. Father, I ask that You pour out Your love, Your compassion, Your healing on them wherever they may be right now as I write this. I ask this in the name of Jesus, that You be real to them, Lord. Whatever it is they need in their lives, I ask that You supply it and heal them; heal their spirits, heal their hearts, heal their bodies.
I, my Lord, as I don't understand how they do this, realize how blessed I truly am. I am so blessed for having known You all my life, known about You. I was not always the child You wanted me to be, but You also never let me go when I was not doing Your will. You have always been my protector, my sweet Spirit, and my great love. Even now, you protect me from harm, You are always looking out for me, giving me Your glorious presence that puts such peace and joy in my heart. I do not want to go from You, ever again. But Lord, I do ask that You make a difference in the hearts of these young people. The ones we prayed for tonight, and all those I do not know of, but I know You do. I can sense Your heart hurting over these children, Your children. They need to know they are Your children. Father, if there are some I can minister to, I pray You send them or let me know of them so I can pray, so I can care.
You are my Lord. I am so thankful, each moment of my life, that You are my Lord. I just want tonight Father, to crawl up in your lap and lay my head on your shoulder, just to feel Your warmth going through me with love. When I hear about so much of this, when I hear the news about Your children of this world, Lord, there is so much injustice in it all, I just want to be near You, I want to minister to Your heart also, as I know it grieves You so. But one day, Father, when our Lord returns, one day soon. For Your children. Your children.
This 10th night of April, 2011, I just want to praise You, Lord for Your goodness to me. For Your love, Your precious love for me, Your child.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
MOTHER OF THE BRIDE
Revelation 19:7-8 "Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear. (Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of the saints.)"
This morning as I was beginning my day, knowing I had a wedding to attend tonight, I was thinking of when I would be writing my blog. I decided I would wait until I came home in case the Lord showed me something at the wedding that He would want me to say. No sooner than I had thought this, and the Lord said to me "Mother of the Bride". That was followed by the soft words "Holy Spirit" and then He began to explain to me what He meant.
The Lord showed me that the Holy Spirit is a kind of mother of the bride. I did not understand at first but then He began to show me how it related. The Bridegroom has loved the Bride since before she was born. Once the Bride was born, all of us who are in the Lord, we have been prepared by the Holy Spirit for betroval to the Groom. It has been an arranged marriage from the very beginning. We were born to be worshipers, born to be the bride of Jesus. There has never been a doubt on the part of the Groom who His Bride would be, nor on the part of the Holy Spirit (Mother of the Bride). The Holy Spirit has been preparing us for so long, so gently that we have not noticed the drawing, slowly, deliberately to be passionate about the Groom. I cannot tell you what day exactly that I began to feel so in love with my Lord. I can tell you when I was saved, how my life took so many turns and twists, times I felt so alone (of course I know now that I was never alone), and times I was not sure of my faith. And I can tell you when my faith began to rise up in me and secure me to a lasting trust in my God, but when that love began so deeply, so rich, no, I cannot exactly say when that was. I just remember waking up one morning and knew I could not live without my Lord. I knew that my life would be nothing if He was not here. I needed His presence as I needed to breathe. The love I feel for my Jesus sometimes makes my heart feel like it will burst, those are the moments I have to worshp Him, no matter where I am. I love Him so much. I have to worship Him always. I try so hard to find the words to tell Him how much I love Him. I am so thankful He can see my heart as I never find the words I think can tell Him how I adore Him, and how I need Him always with me.
The Holy Spirit has been wooing me to love the Lord more and more each day. My sweet Holy Spirit has been cleaning house, so to speak, not leaving one thing undone in me that would be displeasing to the Groom. All worldly things have to go, you know, as there is not place for them in the Bride of Christ. Anything that mocks, ridicules my Lord, anything that takes the place of what I should be standing for, what my Lord expects me to be, it all has to go. So the Holy Spirit has been showing me these things, a little at a time until they are no longer a part of who I am. He will continue doing so until the day my Lord returns for the Bride, making sure nothing creeps in unaware from the enemy, seeing that there is nothing that would cause any separation of His presence from me.
Just as a mother would encourage a perspective bride to prepare for the goom in an arranged marriage, knowing that this is the man she will wed, she instructs the bride in the finer ways of marriage, in the ways that would be pleasing to the groom. So the Holy Spirit instructs the Bride of Christ. Encourages her to read the Word of God, learning the ways to the heart of the Lord, learning how to worship Him, the words He likes to hear. The actions He likes to see, the love He needs to know you give to others in His name. The Holy Spirit shows us the expectations of our Groom. How He counts on our purity, our righteousness, our commitment to only Him. We are shown how to love our Groom, how to adore and worship only Him. At the same time, the Holy Spirit is giving us the messages of the Groom, sharing His heart with us, showing us how much we are loved, adored, and treasured; giving us the promises of the Groom, that He will never leave or forsake us, the treasures He has stored up in heaven for us, the home He has built for us to share with Him. Just as the bride's mother would, the Holy Spirit keeps that flame burning within us with the transferring of sweet messages of love back and forth between the Groom and the Bride.
Then one day, one day soon, I pray, we will hear the trumpet sounding the wedding anthem. The Bridegroom will appear, there will never be a grander wedding ceremony than this one, for everyone will see Him appear but not everyone will be getting married that day. Only the Bride, the righteous one, dressed in fine white linen, the Bride that has been prepared for this day, knowing she is going to glory with her Groom, it is she alone, who is getting married. As a booming voice sounds through the sky and asks "Who gives this Bride" and the precious Holy Spirit that has been with her throughout the years, steps up, gives the Bride a loving kiss on the cheek and says "I do". I can see in my spirit the radiant smiles on my God and the Holy Spirit as the beautiful Bride, righteous and ready, finally ready after all this time, steps forward to be claimed by the Bridegroom.
This 9th day of April, 2011, anticipation is growing, as I pray time is nearing. The Spirit and the bride adoringly say "Come" and the Bridegroom answers lovingly, "Yes, I am coming soon". Come Lord Jesus.
This morning as I was beginning my day, knowing I had a wedding to attend tonight, I was thinking of when I would be writing my blog. I decided I would wait until I came home in case the Lord showed me something at the wedding that He would want me to say. No sooner than I had thought this, and the Lord said to me "Mother of the Bride". That was followed by the soft words "Holy Spirit" and then He began to explain to me what He meant.
The Lord showed me that the Holy Spirit is a kind of mother of the bride. I did not understand at first but then He began to show me how it related. The Bridegroom has loved the Bride since before she was born. Once the Bride was born, all of us who are in the Lord, we have been prepared by the Holy Spirit for betroval to the Groom. It has been an arranged marriage from the very beginning. We were born to be worshipers, born to be the bride of Jesus. There has never been a doubt on the part of the Groom who His Bride would be, nor on the part of the Holy Spirit (Mother of the Bride). The Holy Spirit has been preparing us for so long, so gently that we have not noticed the drawing, slowly, deliberately to be passionate about the Groom. I cannot tell you what day exactly that I began to feel so in love with my Lord. I can tell you when I was saved, how my life took so many turns and twists, times I felt so alone (of course I know now that I was never alone), and times I was not sure of my faith. And I can tell you when my faith began to rise up in me and secure me to a lasting trust in my God, but when that love began so deeply, so rich, no, I cannot exactly say when that was. I just remember waking up one morning and knew I could not live without my Lord. I knew that my life would be nothing if He was not here. I needed His presence as I needed to breathe. The love I feel for my Jesus sometimes makes my heart feel like it will burst, those are the moments I have to worshp Him, no matter where I am. I love Him so much. I have to worship Him always. I try so hard to find the words to tell Him how much I love Him. I am so thankful He can see my heart as I never find the words I think can tell Him how I adore Him, and how I need Him always with me.
The Holy Spirit has been wooing me to love the Lord more and more each day. My sweet Holy Spirit has been cleaning house, so to speak, not leaving one thing undone in me that would be displeasing to the Groom. All worldly things have to go, you know, as there is not place for them in the Bride of Christ. Anything that mocks, ridicules my Lord, anything that takes the place of what I should be standing for, what my Lord expects me to be, it all has to go. So the Holy Spirit has been showing me these things, a little at a time until they are no longer a part of who I am. He will continue doing so until the day my Lord returns for the Bride, making sure nothing creeps in unaware from the enemy, seeing that there is nothing that would cause any separation of His presence from me.
Just as a mother would encourage a perspective bride to prepare for the goom in an arranged marriage, knowing that this is the man she will wed, she instructs the bride in the finer ways of marriage, in the ways that would be pleasing to the groom. So the Holy Spirit instructs the Bride of Christ. Encourages her to read the Word of God, learning the ways to the heart of the Lord, learning how to worship Him, the words He likes to hear. The actions He likes to see, the love He needs to know you give to others in His name. The Holy Spirit shows us the expectations of our Groom. How He counts on our purity, our righteousness, our commitment to only Him. We are shown how to love our Groom, how to adore and worship only Him. At the same time, the Holy Spirit is giving us the messages of the Groom, sharing His heart with us, showing us how much we are loved, adored, and treasured; giving us the promises of the Groom, that He will never leave or forsake us, the treasures He has stored up in heaven for us, the home He has built for us to share with Him. Just as the bride's mother would, the Holy Spirit keeps that flame burning within us with the transferring of sweet messages of love back and forth between the Groom and the Bride.
Then one day, one day soon, I pray, we will hear the trumpet sounding the wedding anthem. The Bridegroom will appear, there will never be a grander wedding ceremony than this one, for everyone will see Him appear but not everyone will be getting married that day. Only the Bride, the righteous one, dressed in fine white linen, the Bride that has been prepared for this day, knowing she is going to glory with her Groom, it is she alone, who is getting married. As a booming voice sounds through the sky and asks "Who gives this Bride" and the precious Holy Spirit that has been with her throughout the years, steps up, gives the Bride a loving kiss on the cheek and says "I do". I can see in my spirit the radiant smiles on my God and the Holy Spirit as the beautiful Bride, righteous and ready, finally ready after all this time, steps forward to be claimed by the Bridegroom.
This 9th day of April, 2011, anticipation is growing, as I pray time is nearing. The Spirit and the bride adoringly say "Come" and the Bridegroom answers lovingly, "Yes, I am coming soon". Come Lord Jesus.
Friday, April 8, 2011
PREPARING FOR WORSHIP
John 4:23-24 (Message) "But the time is coming...it has, in fact, come...when what you're called will not matter and where you go to worship will not matter. It's who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That's the kind of people the Father is looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship. God is sheer being itself...Spirit. Those who worship him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration."
Father I am asking Your guidance on this night, as I sit here to write. I know what You want me to say, but the words are difficult. I only want Your words coming here, not mine. I love to worship You my God, I love to worship You. To give You all my praise just for Your Supreme Being, Your Majesty, and then the heart felt words, Your goodness and love, Your precious presence. There is nothing I would rather do than to spend all my days and nights worshiping You. And I feel You know that about me, You can see my heart.
Worship, true worship to the Lord, comes from the heart. It does not come from the vocal chords, it does not come from years of voice lessons. Your worship is not how well you sing, it how much you love the Lord. That is the worship He is looking for. Your love, those words that can only come from your heart. To prepare yourself for worship, when I prepare myself, I close my mind to all else except my Lord. I let my mind go to Who the Lord is, What the Lord is, and how He loves me. I think on the things that He has done for me, how He has held me through each night, seeing that I was rested, sleeping peacefully without any evilness coming into dreams to disturb me; I look at how He gets me up each morning with joy in my heart at another day with Him, and what He has planned for me. I think about what the Word says about my relationship with my Father. How my Father adores me, has loved me before I was a thought, before I had a breath, all these things enter my mind as I center everything around Him. Then I put on some wonderful worship music and begin to worship first silently just letting my heart soar with the thoughts from my mind, on His goodness and love, on His beauty. Then as I can no longer stand to keep silent, I lift my voice to Him, sometimes singing with the music, sometimes with the words from my heart, but worshiping with all my love, all my heart. I just worship. My heart is prepared, my mind is centered on pleasing my Lord, my spirit is counting on His presence, that sweet presence that I know will be entering the room where He hears the worship coming from, where He hears my heart pouring out His praises.
Things take a little different tone when I prepare for Sunday worship as part of the praise and worship group at church. I get up in the morning the same as each day, listening to worship music and praising His Holy Name, singing from my heart and loving on my Lord. You might say I am tuning my heart to His. You see you must be in tune with the Fathers heart to be in His ministry. So I prepare myself to listen closely for His voice. I get myself in line with Him. Removing everything from my mind and heart except the knowledge of what will be pleasing to Him, knowing that I will be helping to lead others in worship to Him, and wanting so badly for their worship experience that day to glorify the Lord and usher in His presence as we corporately worship our Lord.
I have a problem sometimes though staying focused as I tend to get lost in the worship and fall away from the words, I begin to sing from my heart trying though to stay with the rest of our church family. I know the Lord does not mind as the Holy Spirit sometimes leads me in a different way, wanting to just draw us into the worshp that the Lord is listening for. The Father is so listening for hearts that love Him. And sometimes, we are rewarded by the beautiful presence of the Lord coming into the room, lingering to listen to those precious hearts of His children. I am sad to say however, that sometimes, He leaves as the worship is cut short or just abruptly stops. See, I can come prepared, my sweet brothers and sisters that are worshipers come prepared also, but when there are so many, and some hearts have not prepared for worship, then the flow will not continue. But the Lord is so patient, and one day I know there will be an overflowing of worship in that place that will seem to never stop. Glory to God, what a day that will be. I know the Lord is waiting also.
But prepare. Prepare to worship the Lord. It doesn't take long. Just empty your mind, give your heart completely into your worship, thank the Lord for His goodness to you and love on Him. Give Him the worship He deserves. He does not deserve just a short little thank you Lord and quick song. Look what He has done. He has given all, can you not give your heartfelt thanks and worship to the wonderful King of Kings, the beautiful Lord of Lords.
I adore You, my Lord. My Jesus, You have given all for me, to me. I am sustained daily by the knowledge that Almighty God loves me so much, unconditionally, not for anything I am, but for Who He is. I will worship You all my life, I will never cease to give You all my worship, all my love. This 8th day of April, 2011, I am prepared for worship and I will worship You with all my heart.
Father I am asking Your guidance on this night, as I sit here to write. I know what You want me to say, but the words are difficult. I only want Your words coming here, not mine. I love to worship You my God, I love to worship You. To give You all my praise just for Your Supreme Being, Your Majesty, and then the heart felt words, Your goodness and love, Your precious presence. There is nothing I would rather do than to spend all my days and nights worshiping You. And I feel You know that about me, You can see my heart.
Worship, true worship to the Lord, comes from the heart. It does not come from the vocal chords, it does not come from years of voice lessons. Your worship is not how well you sing, it how much you love the Lord. That is the worship He is looking for. Your love, those words that can only come from your heart. To prepare yourself for worship, when I prepare myself, I close my mind to all else except my Lord. I let my mind go to Who the Lord is, What the Lord is, and how He loves me. I think on the things that He has done for me, how He has held me through each night, seeing that I was rested, sleeping peacefully without any evilness coming into dreams to disturb me; I look at how He gets me up each morning with joy in my heart at another day with Him, and what He has planned for me. I think about what the Word says about my relationship with my Father. How my Father adores me, has loved me before I was a thought, before I had a breath, all these things enter my mind as I center everything around Him. Then I put on some wonderful worship music and begin to worship first silently just letting my heart soar with the thoughts from my mind, on His goodness and love, on His beauty. Then as I can no longer stand to keep silent, I lift my voice to Him, sometimes singing with the music, sometimes with the words from my heart, but worshiping with all my love, all my heart. I just worship. My heart is prepared, my mind is centered on pleasing my Lord, my spirit is counting on His presence, that sweet presence that I know will be entering the room where He hears the worship coming from, where He hears my heart pouring out His praises.
Things take a little different tone when I prepare for Sunday worship as part of the praise and worship group at church. I get up in the morning the same as each day, listening to worship music and praising His Holy Name, singing from my heart and loving on my Lord. You might say I am tuning my heart to His. You see you must be in tune with the Fathers heart to be in His ministry. So I prepare myself to listen closely for His voice. I get myself in line with Him. Removing everything from my mind and heart except the knowledge of what will be pleasing to Him, knowing that I will be helping to lead others in worship to Him, and wanting so badly for their worship experience that day to glorify the Lord and usher in His presence as we corporately worship our Lord.
I have a problem sometimes though staying focused as I tend to get lost in the worship and fall away from the words, I begin to sing from my heart trying though to stay with the rest of our church family. I know the Lord does not mind as the Holy Spirit sometimes leads me in a different way, wanting to just draw us into the worshp that the Lord is listening for. The Father is so listening for hearts that love Him. And sometimes, we are rewarded by the beautiful presence of the Lord coming into the room, lingering to listen to those precious hearts of His children. I am sad to say however, that sometimes, He leaves as the worship is cut short or just abruptly stops. See, I can come prepared, my sweet brothers and sisters that are worshipers come prepared also, but when there are so many, and some hearts have not prepared for worship, then the flow will not continue. But the Lord is so patient, and one day I know there will be an overflowing of worship in that place that will seem to never stop. Glory to God, what a day that will be. I know the Lord is waiting also.
But prepare. Prepare to worship the Lord. It doesn't take long. Just empty your mind, give your heart completely into your worship, thank the Lord for His goodness to you and love on Him. Give Him the worship He deserves. He does not deserve just a short little thank you Lord and quick song. Look what He has done. He has given all, can you not give your heartfelt thanks and worship to the wonderful King of Kings, the beautiful Lord of Lords.
I adore You, my Lord. My Jesus, You have given all for me, to me. I am sustained daily by the knowledge that Almighty God loves me so much, unconditionally, not for anything I am, but for Who He is. I will worship You all my life, I will never cease to give You all my worship, all my love. This 8th day of April, 2011, I am prepared for worship and I will worship You with all my heart.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
CALLED TO PRAY
Matthew 26:40-41 "Then he returned to His disciples and found them sleeping. "Could you men not watch with me for one hour?" he asked Peter. "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."
As I read the scriptures tonight, looking for the verse that the Lord would have me use for this, I read through these verses and on through to the end of Matthew. Then, I read the ends of the other gospels also, the happenings of the last days of my Lord. I cannot keep from crying as I read the despicable things that were done to my beloved Jesus. If you can read these scriptures telling of the beatings and mocking He endured, for me, for you, and not weep, then you need to go back to the foot of the cross and ask forgiveness and give yourself completely to the Lord. I will not apologize for that statement as I don't know how one can think on what was done to our Savior, what He took on Himself so we could be saved from our sin; so we could have eternal life. I can never look on my lot in life as hard, as I am not being beaten to death for the lives of others. And if the day should ever come that I am, that I am treated as my Lord was for the saving of others, please my Lord, give me the strength that You found in the Father to do so, for You, Lord, let me do so, that they may be found in You also.
But the scripture tonight, watch and pray. Can you imagine, close your eyes for a moment and see yourselves in the garden. Jesus wants to step away by himself to pray and seek the Father, and all He asks is that we watch, just for a little while, not long, but just sort of stand with Him. But we were asleep when He returned. Can you sense His disappointment in us. I believe that is the same disappointment He must feel when He puts someone or something on our hearts and we do nothing. He is not just dropping thoughts in our heads for no reason, He puts them there because He knows that person needs prayer, right now. And situations you just think of out of the blue, did you not think the Lord would not put concerns in your mind, on your heart? They are there because He knows the situation is urgent and He is calling His children to pray. Know that you are not the only one He is calling at that time, for that prayer, He knows there is strength in unity and He is calling His children, right then, right now. It doesn't matter if you are at work, or if you are busy, give into your spirit, pray in the spirit. You may not even always know what is needed, just that there is an urgency to pray at that moment. Pray in the spirit, pray without ceasing until you feel a release from the Lord. Sometimes you will find out later what was happening, sometimes not, but that won't matter. What matters is the obedience.
Should you put these thoughts and urging to pray aside, ignore those thoughts placed in your heart and mind by the Lord, well you can look at yourself as one of the sleeping disciples. And if you truly love the Lord, you will feel that disappointment by Him. If you truly love Him, you will not feel that but once, for the next time, you will instantly be in prayer.
God calls all His children to pray. It is the next thing to worshiping the Lord. Prayer. I am not talking about prayer for your needs, but prayer for those that need. Prayer for others. Intercessory prayer. The unselfish act of giving into anothers life, their needs, to lift them up to the Lord in special prayer. To give your time, your love and devotion to the Father, to be there for the sake of His children in need. Doesn't matter what the need, if asked by the Lord to be an intercessor, to know that His will for you is to spend time in prayer, submitting yourself to devotion to Him by loving others enough to pray for their needs; doesn't matter what time night or day. Have you ever awoken at night and felt such a need to pray, not knowing why, but you begin to pray. Intercession. There is a need, and your heart is ready. Your mind is fixed on the Lord and your heart is always ready to pray.
Should you pass someone on the street and your spirit receives a little jolt, pray. Pray for that person. Do not look on them and wonder if they deserve prayer or not; just pray. It is not our business to judge whether or not we should pray, we just do as we are called. To pray. God knows people's hearts, He alone knows their situations and what is needed. To pray. That is our calling.
My Father, let me not be one that would fall asleep when asked to watch and pray. Let me ready, in season and out of season, at the quickening of my spirit by You, Lord, give me the grace to pray as You want me to. Give me the words that will reach Your heart on behalf of my brothers and sisters. Let my prayer be the breaking of the chains that bind them to where You will reach down and release them from their iniquity and where they can be changed by Your love. Let me pray Lord, for those who are sick, those whose spirits are so ill that the body cannot mend, those who have not the strength to pray for themselves, let me pray. Let my words to You Father, reach Your throne room and tender Your heart, releasing healing power and mercies to them. Let me pray Lord, for the renewal of minds and hearts, for comfort of the hurting, the lonely. Let me so love Your children, Father, that I will pray for Your touch on their lives.
I am so grateful Lord, for all the times when I was low in spirit, broken, alone and dying in sin, and You touched the heart of another, in intercession for me. You led some beautiful soul to pray, to stand in for me when I lost the will to pray, did not think I was worthy of lifting my voice to You, You put me on someone's heart to pray. Thank you my Lord for loving me so much.
I will pray, my Lord, as You lead me, when You lead me. I love you my Lord. I am honored to be called to pray by You, to be chosen to be a prayer warrior, to worship you with my life in prayer. This 7th day of April, 2011, my God, I will pray. I will pray.
As I read the scriptures tonight, looking for the verse that the Lord would have me use for this, I read through these verses and on through to the end of Matthew. Then, I read the ends of the other gospels also, the happenings of the last days of my Lord. I cannot keep from crying as I read the despicable things that were done to my beloved Jesus. If you can read these scriptures telling of the beatings and mocking He endured, for me, for you, and not weep, then you need to go back to the foot of the cross and ask forgiveness and give yourself completely to the Lord. I will not apologize for that statement as I don't know how one can think on what was done to our Savior, what He took on Himself so we could be saved from our sin; so we could have eternal life. I can never look on my lot in life as hard, as I am not being beaten to death for the lives of others. And if the day should ever come that I am, that I am treated as my Lord was for the saving of others, please my Lord, give me the strength that You found in the Father to do so, for You, Lord, let me do so, that they may be found in You also.
But the scripture tonight, watch and pray. Can you imagine, close your eyes for a moment and see yourselves in the garden. Jesus wants to step away by himself to pray and seek the Father, and all He asks is that we watch, just for a little while, not long, but just sort of stand with Him. But we were asleep when He returned. Can you sense His disappointment in us. I believe that is the same disappointment He must feel when He puts someone or something on our hearts and we do nothing. He is not just dropping thoughts in our heads for no reason, He puts them there because He knows that person needs prayer, right now. And situations you just think of out of the blue, did you not think the Lord would not put concerns in your mind, on your heart? They are there because He knows the situation is urgent and He is calling His children to pray. Know that you are not the only one He is calling at that time, for that prayer, He knows there is strength in unity and He is calling His children, right then, right now. It doesn't matter if you are at work, or if you are busy, give into your spirit, pray in the spirit. You may not even always know what is needed, just that there is an urgency to pray at that moment. Pray in the spirit, pray without ceasing until you feel a release from the Lord. Sometimes you will find out later what was happening, sometimes not, but that won't matter. What matters is the obedience.
Should you put these thoughts and urging to pray aside, ignore those thoughts placed in your heart and mind by the Lord, well you can look at yourself as one of the sleeping disciples. And if you truly love the Lord, you will feel that disappointment by Him. If you truly love Him, you will not feel that but once, for the next time, you will instantly be in prayer.
God calls all His children to pray. It is the next thing to worshiping the Lord. Prayer. I am not talking about prayer for your needs, but prayer for those that need. Prayer for others. Intercessory prayer. The unselfish act of giving into anothers life, their needs, to lift them up to the Lord in special prayer. To give your time, your love and devotion to the Father, to be there for the sake of His children in need. Doesn't matter what the need, if asked by the Lord to be an intercessor, to know that His will for you is to spend time in prayer, submitting yourself to devotion to Him by loving others enough to pray for their needs; doesn't matter what time night or day. Have you ever awoken at night and felt such a need to pray, not knowing why, but you begin to pray. Intercession. There is a need, and your heart is ready. Your mind is fixed on the Lord and your heart is always ready to pray.
Should you pass someone on the street and your spirit receives a little jolt, pray. Pray for that person. Do not look on them and wonder if they deserve prayer or not; just pray. It is not our business to judge whether or not we should pray, we just do as we are called. To pray. God knows people's hearts, He alone knows their situations and what is needed. To pray. That is our calling.
My Father, let me not be one that would fall asleep when asked to watch and pray. Let me ready, in season and out of season, at the quickening of my spirit by You, Lord, give me the grace to pray as You want me to. Give me the words that will reach Your heart on behalf of my brothers and sisters. Let my prayer be the breaking of the chains that bind them to where You will reach down and release them from their iniquity and where they can be changed by Your love. Let me pray Lord, for those who are sick, those whose spirits are so ill that the body cannot mend, those who have not the strength to pray for themselves, let me pray. Let my words to You Father, reach Your throne room and tender Your heart, releasing healing power and mercies to them. Let me pray Lord, for the renewal of minds and hearts, for comfort of the hurting, the lonely. Let me so love Your children, Father, that I will pray for Your touch on their lives.
I am so grateful Lord, for all the times when I was low in spirit, broken, alone and dying in sin, and You touched the heart of another, in intercession for me. You led some beautiful soul to pray, to stand in for me when I lost the will to pray, did not think I was worthy of lifting my voice to You, You put me on someone's heart to pray. Thank you my Lord for loving me so much.
I will pray, my Lord, as You lead me, when You lead me. I love you my Lord. I am honored to be called to pray by You, to be chosen to be a prayer warrior, to worship you with my life in prayer. This 7th day of April, 2011, my God, I will pray. I will pray.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
HUMBLE IN SPIRIT
James 3:13 "Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom."
I don't know just how this came to me, it was this morning as I was thinking over some things that happened yesterday. I can remember saying something to someone and thinking afterwards, wow, that really is something profound that came from me. And when I thought about it, the Holy Spirit just zinged my spirit and let me know right away where that thought came from. And if was not from my Father. It was from my old nemesis, once again showing me how easy it can be for him to enter into our thoughts, well, my thoughts. It it had been Our thoughts, the Lord's and mine, well, it would have not had any effect, so it was just my thoughts he entered. And for a moment, he had gained a point. But, thank You, Father, for the precious Holy Spirit that stays with me, never leaving me, keeping me on the path of Your righteousness. Forgive me, Lord, for any thought that enters my mind that is not of you.
This reminds me once again, Lord, that I am nothing without You. Nothing I say that has any merit, nothing I do that touches people in a good way, nothing that comes from me that is loving and encouraging is from me. It is all of You. Just You. Without You, I am nothing in myself. I only want those things of You, Lord, only You, nothing of me.
I have a sinful nature, as all do. But it is my choice, my complete desire to be of my Lord, my glorious God in Heaven, to live and love in Jesus. It is a choice I made years ago and struggled with. So hard, as I had not discovered the secret to living in Jesus each and everyday. I had not found the joy of His Holy Presence. I found it months back last year in worship. In keeping my mind on my Lord. Never letting my eyes stray from His eyes, His beautiful face. Letting not sin, times I fall, keep me from coming immediately to His throne and asking for forgiveness. Showing Him my heart, letting Him dwell there, asking that He help me keep it pure and santified for His use, for His glory. Worshiping my Lord constantly, keeping my spirit in continual prayer, letting the Spirit pray for me, knowing the words my voice would have trouble speaking, knowing just how to pray. So important, praying in the spirit. The Holy Spirit knows what to say, how to say it, how to appeal to the Almighty, how to approach Him for certain needs that I don't even know of. But my desire is to draw near to the Lord and my spirit knows how to do this.
Humbly, not proud. Gentle, not assuming. Boldly before God, not afraid. See you can be humble and gentle and still be bold. A boldness before the Lord is just knowing that He is going to receive you, hear your prayer and answer you. It is knowing that He loves you dearly and He is so happy to have you come to Him with every detail of your life. It is important to Him.
It is important that your life reflect that of a life He is living in. The only way to be humble in spirit is to let Jesus be seen in your life. In everything you do. Lord, I only want to live for you. I know I cannot do a daily walk without You in the lead. I want to follow. I do not want to lead, as I will only make mistake after mistake. Remember, I tried that. You had to rescue me from that mess. I don't ever want to go there again. I love how You lead me Lord. I love the life I have in You. There is nothing else I want other that to live in You, to do Your will.
Father, my prayer tonight is that You be the center of my life always. Let my eyes stay focused on You, no where else. Let my words be Your words, let my actions be of You, directed by You and let my life so reflect Jesus that no one will ever doubt Who I belong to and Who my Lord is. Send me those You want me to minister to and Lord, then I ask that You give me the words of Your Truth to give them. Let it be nothing of me, just all of You. Let the old man in me stay dead and buried and fill the new creation You have made of me to the brim with just Jesus, just His love, just His words, just His humility, just His spirit. Amen.
My Lord, how I love You. How I long to be the child You are making me into. I desire nothing more than to please You each day with my actions. I want my life to glorify Your Name. I want to give you the ultimate worship I can by living my life for You. I want to sing praises to You with my thoughts, my words and my love. This 6th day of April, 2011, I want to humbly bow before You and tell You of my adoration and love for only You.
I don't know just how this came to me, it was this morning as I was thinking over some things that happened yesterday. I can remember saying something to someone and thinking afterwards, wow, that really is something profound that came from me. And when I thought about it, the Holy Spirit just zinged my spirit and let me know right away where that thought came from. And if was not from my Father. It was from my old nemesis, once again showing me how easy it can be for him to enter into our thoughts, well, my thoughts. It it had been Our thoughts, the Lord's and mine, well, it would have not had any effect, so it was just my thoughts he entered. And for a moment, he had gained a point. But, thank You, Father, for the precious Holy Spirit that stays with me, never leaving me, keeping me on the path of Your righteousness. Forgive me, Lord, for any thought that enters my mind that is not of you.
This reminds me once again, Lord, that I am nothing without You. Nothing I say that has any merit, nothing I do that touches people in a good way, nothing that comes from me that is loving and encouraging is from me. It is all of You. Just You. Without You, I am nothing in myself. I only want those things of You, Lord, only You, nothing of me.
I have a sinful nature, as all do. But it is my choice, my complete desire to be of my Lord, my glorious God in Heaven, to live and love in Jesus. It is a choice I made years ago and struggled with. So hard, as I had not discovered the secret to living in Jesus each and everyday. I had not found the joy of His Holy Presence. I found it months back last year in worship. In keeping my mind on my Lord. Never letting my eyes stray from His eyes, His beautiful face. Letting not sin, times I fall, keep me from coming immediately to His throne and asking for forgiveness. Showing Him my heart, letting Him dwell there, asking that He help me keep it pure and santified for His use, for His glory. Worshiping my Lord constantly, keeping my spirit in continual prayer, letting the Spirit pray for me, knowing the words my voice would have trouble speaking, knowing just how to pray. So important, praying in the spirit. The Holy Spirit knows what to say, how to say it, how to appeal to the Almighty, how to approach Him for certain needs that I don't even know of. But my desire is to draw near to the Lord and my spirit knows how to do this.
Humbly, not proud. Gentle, not assuming. Boldly before God, not afraid. See you can be humble and gentle and still be bold. A boldness before the Lord is just knowing that He is going to receive you, hear your prayer and answer you. It is knowing that He loves you dearly and He is so happy to have you come to Him with every detail of your life. It is important to Him.
It is important that your life reflect that of a life He is living in. The only way to be humble in spirit is to let Jesus be seen in your life. In everything you do. Lord, I only want to live for you. I know I cannot do a daily walk without You in the lead. I want to follow. I do not want to lead, as I will only make mistake after mistake. Remember, I tried that. You had to rescue me from that mess. I don't ever want to go there again. I love how You lead me Lord. I love the life I have in You. There is nothing else I want other that to live in You, to do Your will.
Father, my prayer tonight is that You be the center of my life always. Let my eyes stay focused on You, no where else. Let my words be Your words, let my actions be of You, directed by You and let my life so reflect Jesus that no one will ever doubt Who I belong to and Who my Lord is. Send me those You want me to minister to and Lord, then I ask that You give me the words of Your Truth to give them. Let it be nothing of me, just all of You. Let the old man in me stay dead and buried and fill the new creation You have made of me to the brim with just Jesus, just His love, just His words, just His humility, just His spirit. Amen.
My Lord, how I love You. How I long to be the child You are making me into. I desire nothing more than to please You each day with my actions. I want my life to glorify Your Name. I want to give you the ultimate worship I can by living my life for You. I want to sing praises to You with my thoughts, my words and my love. This 6th day of April, 2011, I want to humbly bow before You and tell You of my adoration and love for only You.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
FANNING THE FLAME
2 Timothy 1:6 "For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands."
The Message Bible translates this verse as "And the special gift of ministry you received when I laid hands on you and prayed. Keep that ablaze! God doesn't want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible."
It should not surprise me that the word the Lord gave me this morning about fanning the flame would be a little different than I thought it would be. The Lord gives me the title, what it would be about, and I look for the scripture that He has hidden and waiting for me in His Word. Tonight it was so easy, there the scripture was, the exact words almost that He had given me. But when I read it in the Message Bible, I felt a jolt in my spirit and I knew then it would be different than I thought it would be. I sincerely thought this was a message to be given to others, somewhat to myself, but to others also. But when I saw the verse, I knew He was talking to me. He even sent a confirmation to me today when I was home for my lunch break.
There was a knock on the door when I came home for break and when I answered it, it was a close friend of mine. She said she did not have much time as she had an appointment but she wanted to give me something. She handed me a check and said she wanted to sow a seed into my ministry. I told her I did not have a ministry and she took me in her arms for a big hug and told me "Yes You do". And I cried, as I am now, knowing now that the Lord was priming me for this tonight, for when I would read this verse and see that He was trying to reaffirm a word He had given me. I know He has something special planned for me, but He has not told me what. Just to go, just to be faithful and obedient. So I am making plans to go, to do what He has for me. But it seems like He is telling others before I know. But with that, the words He has previously given me to go, and the scripture tonight, all I can say, is Yes, Lord. Whatever and whenever Lord, Yes.
Fanning the flame to me means keeping alive that purpose the Lord has for your life. No letting that plan He has die down, keep it alive in you. Faith stored up in you, the faith that has built through months of watching the Lord take care of every need, every concern, evidence building faith. Not some word from another of what the Lord can and will do, but actual knowledge, my knowing, of what He is doing in me, for me. How He has brought me through so many things. This faith, as He has shown me His Works, His faithfulness to me, knows that no matter what or where He leads, what He has planned, I can trust Him to take care of each and every detail. Nothing will be left out, He will see to everything.
I know I need to be careful not to let negativity come in as the enemy will try his best to forge doubt and unbelief as things come up. The enemy will do everything to stop me from following the call of my Lord. You'd think he would learn, but no, he will keep trying. And I will keep going forth with my Father. To keep the flame burning strong, I will constantly think on the things of my Father, I will let the precious, sweet Holy Spirit rise up inside of me, drawing me to the Word to drink in the message of my Lord. I will feed my inner man with the beautiful Word of the Lord. I will worship my Lord with beautiful songs I can sing along with or with new songs coming from my heart; songs that the Holy Spirit writes on my soul and teaches me how to sing them, songs and words only meant for my God. From my heart to His heart. Constantly fanning the flames of love in my heart for my Lord, drawing Him close to me, into that place where He can fine tune my spirit, my heart, all that is in me, my mind focused to His will, just refine me so when He puts me in that place, that work He is planning for me, preparing me for, I will be ready. I will have His Word in my heart, His praise on my lips and on Him, only on Him will my eyes be focused. He will never have to doubt where my adoration lies or who is in my heart. He will know I am His alone, ready to do what He calls me to do, if it is to sing praises to Him, teaching others to worship Him with their whole hearts, or to pray for someone, to share His Word, to encourage someone whose faith is weakened by situations, by dispair. I will be ready.
My Lord, thank You. You are so wonderful to me, I see how You are working in me, gently, tenderly guiding me in Your ways, Your love. I adore You, my Lord, I worship You from the depths of my soul, and love, I can never explain the depths of my love for You. This 5th day of April, 2011, fanning the flame of my love for You in a fire that will never go out.
The Message Bible translates this verse as "And the special gift of ministry you received when I laid hands on you and prayed. Keep that ablaze! God doesn't want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible."
It should not surprise me that the word the Lord gave me this morning about fanning the flame would be a little different than I thought it would be. The Lord gives me the title, what it would be about, and I look for the scripture that He has hidden and waiting for me in His Word. Tonight it was so easy, there the scripture was, the exact words almost that He had given me. But when I read it in the Message Bible, I felt a jolt in my spirit and I knew then it would be different than I thought it would be. I sincerely thought this was a message to be given to others, somewhat to myself, but to others also. But when I saw the verse, I knew He was talking to me. He even sent a confirmation to me today when I was home for my lunch break.
There was a knock on the door when I came home for break and when I answered it, it was a close friend of mine. She said she did not have much time as she had an appointment but she wanted to give me something. She handed me a check and said she wanted to sow a seed into my ministry. I told her I did not have a ministry and she took me in her arms for a big hug and told me "Yes You do". And I cried, as I am now, knowing now that the Lord was priming me for this tonight, for when I would read this verse and see that He was trying to reaffirm a word He had given me. I know He has something special planned for me, but He has not told me what. Just to go, just to be faithful and obedient. So I am making plans to go, to do what He has for me. But it seems like He is telling others before I know. But with that, the words He has previously given me to go, and the scripture tonight, all I can say, is Yes, Lord. Whatever and whenever Lord, Yes.
Fanning the flame to me means keeping alive that purpose the Lord has for your life. No letting that plan He has die down, keep it alive in you. Faith stored up in you, the faith that has built through months of watching the Lord take care of every need, every concern, evidence building faith. Not some word from another of what the Lord can and will do, but actual knowledge, my knowing, of what He is doing in me, for me. How He has brought me through so many things. This faith, as He has shown me His Works, His faithfulness to me, knows that no matter what or where He leads, what He has planned, I can trust Him to take care of each and every detail. Nothing will be left out, He will see to everything.
I know I need to be careful not to let negativity come in as the enemy will try his best to forge doubt and unbelief as things come up. The enemy will do everything to stop me from following the call of my Lord. You'd think he would learn, but no, he will keep trying. And I will keep going forth with my Father. To keep the flame burning strong, I will constantly think on the things of my Father, I will let the precious, sweet Holy Spirit rise up inside of me, drawing me to the Word to drink in the message of my Lord. I will feed my inner man with the beautiful Word of the Lord. I will worship my Lord with beautiful songs I can sing along with or with new songs coming from my heart; songs that the Holy Spirit writes on my soul and teaches me how to sing them, songs and words only meant for my God. From my heart to His heart. Constantly fanning the flames of love in my heart for my Lord, drawing Him close to me, into that place where He can fine tune my spirit, my heart, all that is in me, my mind focused to His will, just refine me so when He puts me in that place, that work He is planning for me, preparing me for, I will be ready. I will have His Word in my heart, His praise on my lips and on Him, only on Him will my eyes be focused. He will never have to doubt where my adoration lies or who is in my heart. He will know I am His alone, ready to do what He calls me to do, if it is to sing praises to Him, teaching others to worship Him with their whole hearts, or to pray for someone, to share His Word, to encourage someone whose faith is weakened by situations, by dispair. I will be ready.
My Lord, thank You. You are so wonderful to me, I see how You are working in me, gently, tenderly guiding me in Your ways, Your love. I adore You, my Lord, I worship You from the depths of my soul, and love, I can never explain the depths of my love for You. This 5th day of April, 2011, fanning the flame of my love for You in a fire that will never go out.
Monday, April 4, 2011
INSATIABLE HUNGER
Matthew 5:6 "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled."
I don't know how to begin this Lord, that won't make it seem like I am not grateful for what You have given me, what You have done for me. I am so content with the life You have given me, I don't want anyone misunderstanding what I am saying. You have been so good to me, so faithful, so wonderful. There is not one thing You have not done for me, in fact, You have done more for me than I feel I deserve. Yes, Father, I know, I am Your beloved child and it is Your pleasure, Your will to do good for me. All my daily needs are met, and yes, there is always enough to eat, I am not hungry for food.
My Lord, I hunger for You. It seems that the time You spend with me, only makes me hunger for more of You. I can't find the words right now. Help me find the words, Lord, to tell You how much I love You, how Your presence thrills me, how You fill me to overflowing, but then no matter what I do, I seem to lose that total absorption of You. Where You totally have me floating on air, in Your presence, being held by You, feeling Your spirit all over me, I am totally absorbed by You. You surround me with a sweet, sweet incense of You. Sometimes You are gone and I still can smell Your presence, but it too, fades away.
I have come to feel You do this on purpose, my Lord. I think You leave us for periods of time to see just how hungry we get for You, for Your presence. To see which of Your children truly hunger for You, to see if some have been content or happy with what You gave them and don't ask for more of You. I know, there may be some like that, my God, I know. I don't understand them any more than You do, although You understand, as You can see their hearts. All I know is that when You are with me, Your presence sitting above me, I do not want You to leave, I want more of you.
The need to be in Your presence is becoming an obsession with me, and I don't know how to stop it. I think the real problem is I don't want to stop the need for You, the desire for Your presence, the hunger for You which I never want to cease. So many have claimed to love You and to want Your presence, and have disappointed You, my Lord. But search my heart, surely You can see that is not me, surely you can tell how much I love You. You are on my mind, you are in my heart all the time. I am obsessed with wanting to read Your word, sing worship songs to You, some others have written, but those new songs from my heart meant just for You to hear. I just want to please You, Lord. Please You so You will want to be in my presence as much as I want Yours.
If I could just know, if there was a way, to be here and do Your will, do the work You have for me here on this earth, and to be there with You, in Your throne room at the same time....You are talking to my spirit now. Yes, Lord, I know. I see, I don't like it but I do understand. Yes, if You were surrounding me all the time, I could not function in this life. I know. Yes, I cry when Your presence is on me, loving me, I cannot do anything other than listen to You, write when You tell me what to say, as now; I know. Yes, Lord. I had to stop here for a little while, but I think I can continue now. Thank you, Lord, for Your touch, for Your love.
The Lord just told me that He is with me always. The reason I don't feel His presence so intense always as those special times when it is just the two of us, is because I would not be able to withstand under His Holy Presence and try to work, do the things that I need to do daily. I know the times His presence has surrounded me in my car I began to cry and could not hardly drive so I do understand. Don't like it much but I do understand. My Lord told me that I will know He is there by the peace that flows through me, that river of peace that flows from His Spirit to mine and the joy that floods my soul constantly as I think of Him, as I read His Word. He is with me. And the annointing of His presence will still be upon me daily, and then; then, when it is just us, He said even if it is in my car, or at work, when it is just us, and I have that hunger growing so intense in me, He will shower me with His presence to satisfy that moment, that need and desire that is draining me of strength from the longing for Him, He will be there and I will feel His presence.
One day, I will be present in my God's throne room, I will be there with all the other saints, singing and worshiping the King of Kings, the Lamb of Glory, as He is lifted high above the earth, the heavens, rising up on the wings of the glorious worship of His Bride. There will my hunger finally be filled, where I will thirst no more, all of me being satisfied for eternity as I become one with Him for eternity. Never to be left wanting, never to know the emptiness of when His presence leaves, never alone without Him again.
My precious Lord, I worship You with my song, with my love, with my life this 4th day of April, 2011. You will be continually the desire of my heart, I will always have this insatiable hunger for Your presence until that day when You return for Your Bride.
I don't know how to begin this Lord, that won't make it seem like I am not grateful for what You have given me, what You have done for me. I am so content with the life You have given me, I don't want anyone misunderstanding what I am saying. You have been so good to me, so faithful, so wonderful. There is not one thing You have not done for me, in fact, You have done more for me than I feel I deserve. Yes, Father, I know, I am Your beloved child and it is Your pleasure, Your will to do good for me. All my daily needs are met, and yes, there is always enough to eat, I am not hungry for food.
My Lord, I hunger for You. It seems that the time You spend with me, only makes me hunger for more of You. I can't find the words right now. Help me find the words, Lord, to tell You how much I love You, how Your presence thrills me, how You fill me to overflowing, but then no matter what I do, I seem to lose that total absorption of You. Where You totally have me floating on air, in Your presence, being held by You, feeling Your spirit all over me, I am totally absorbed by You. You surround me with a sweet, sweet incense of You. Sometimes You are gone and I still can smell Your presence, but it too, fades away.
I have come to feel You do this on purpose, my Lord. I think You leave us for periods of time to see just how hungry we get for You, for Your presence. To see which of Your children truly hunger for You, to see if some have been content or happy with what You gave them and don't ask for more of You. I know, there may be some like that, my God, I know. I don't understand them any more than You do, although You understand, as You can see their hearts. All I know is that when You are with me, Your presence sitting above me, I do not want You to leave, I want more of you.
The need to be in Your presence is becoming an obsession with me, and I don't know how to stop it. I think the real problem is I don't want to stop the need for You, the desire for Your presence, the hunger for You which I never want to cease. So many have claimed to love You and to want Your presence, and have disappointed You, my Lord. But search my heart, surely You can see that is not me, surely you can tell how much I love You. You are on my mind, you are in my heart all the time. I am obsessed with wanting to read Your word, sing worship songs to You, some others have written, but those new songs from my heart meant just for You to hear. I just want to please You, Lord. Please You so You will want to be in my presence as much as I want Yours.
If I could just know, if there was a way, to be here and do Your will, do the work You have for me here on this earth, and to be there with You, in Your throne room at the same time....You are talking to my spirit now. Yes, Lord, I know. I see, I don't like it but I do understand. Yes, if You were surrounding me all the time, I could not function in this life. I know. Yes, I cry when Your presence is on me, loving me, I cannot do anything other than listen to You, write when You tell me what to say, as now; I know. Yes, Lord. I had to stop here for a little while, but I think I can continue now. Thank you, Lord, for Your touch, for Your love.
The Lord just told me that He is with me always. The reason I don't feel His presence so intense always as those special times when it is just the two of us, is because I would not be able to withstand under His Holy Presence and try to work, do the things that I need to do daily. I know the times His presence has surrounded me in my car I began to cry and could not hardly drive so I do understand. Don't like it much but I do understand. My Lord told me that I will know He is there by the peace that flows through me, that river of peace that flows from His Spirit to mine and the joy that floods my soul constantly as I think of Him, as I read His Word. He is with me. And the annointing of His presence will still be upon me daily, and then; then, when it is just us, He said even if it is in my car, or at work, when it is just us, and I have that hunger growing so intense in me, He will shower me with His presence to satisfy that moment, that need and desire that is draining me of strength from the longing for Him, He will be there and I will feel His presence.
One day, I will be present in my God's throne room, I will be there with all the other saints, singing and worshiping the King of Kings, the Lamb of Glory, as He is lifted high above the earth, the heavens, rising up on the wings of the glorious worship of His Bride. There will my hunger finally be filled, where I will thirst no more, all of me being satisfied for eternity as I become one with Him for eternity. Never to be left wanting, never to know the emptiness of when His presence leaves, never alone without Him again.
My precious Lord, I worship You with my song, with my love, with my life this 4th day of April, 2011. You will be continually the desire of my heart, I will always have this insatiable hunger for Your presence until that day when You return for Your Bride.
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