Hebrews 12:14-15 "Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord, looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble and by this many become defiled...."
I am so uncertain as to this scripture....but as I looked to see what the Lord said about what He had spoken to me just a couple of hours ago, this is the one He led me to. I am sure, though, as I write, it will become plain to me....and I pray to you also.
I struggled since yesterday about where to attend church this morning....I still have not found where I feel the Lord would have me go......as I am looking for a church locally, one nearby where I can become more of a part of than just Sunday morning worship when I drive 30 or 40 miles to get to.......so I struggled.....did I want to go where beginning of the service is not set in stone (I am so on- time oriented.....well, I just feel others should feel that way also....you can see what the Lord puts up with me....He is dealing with me on so many things, breaking the chains of my thoughts.....showing me His thoughts), but here the people are loving, and it is a church the size I am seeking; or was I going to attend a much larger church, actually a satellite church but the worship leaves my heart aching and needing more. Well, I piddled around too long to attend the first and so I went to the second option.
As worship began, rather I would consider this praise as it was a upbeat, many worded, quick paced song.....I found myself thinking, "O Lord, I just want to worship You with these people, just worship You...." but I tried to enter into the song. Well then I saw the lights flickering on the walls, the music beginning to attack me like noise and I began to notice the way the people on the platform were dressed.....real trendy, men with that kind of actor type of unshaven look....new male wardrobe styles you see on NY runways.... Well, you get the picture....I was sinking fast.
I then heard the words "Sight and Sound" flood my spirit. And I knew what would follow. I knew the Lord was beginning to download into my spirit something I was to write. My first thought, forgive me Lord, was "Not now Lord, I can't sit and begin to write at this time". But, as I have found, the Lord gives when He is ready....NOT when we are ready. And so He began to speak to me. I found by the time He was finished why He was giving this to me at that moment....at that precise moment. Like lots of folks, we have a mind that has learned how to block out what we don't think is meant for ourselves.....You know some of those scriptures that we tend to feel, well that surely doesn't pertain to me.....those times. The Lord wanted to show and tell me these things right then, because that is when I was allowing the enemy......the enemy of my own mind to distract me from Him, from seeking His face, His presence. This, when I think on it, is exactly what I pray and ask the Lord to do for me.....not to let me fall into a sinful place with my mind....my heart.....any part of me that is not of Him. Here I was beginning to fall into the very trap I ask Him to keep me from and I wanted to argue His timing on it. Well, you can imagine how I felt when He was done. All I could think then and now is "Forgive me Lord, forgive me".
I was allowing what I saw.....which there was nothing wrong with, but the enemy knows which of my buttons are still being dealt with by the Holy Spirit, he knew just what to show me.....just what to let me hear, twisting and turning so that I would begin to find fault, displeasure, dislike with and to....to distract me from the very reason I went to church. I went to join in with the others there in a corporate time of worship to my Lord, to my God. I went to join with the body of Christ.....to become united with them to pray and worship the King of kings, the Lord of my life. Not all music will be the kind of worship music that I find draws me instantly into the presence of the Lord, the worship music that I cannot hear without drawing me right into worship from my spirit, from my heart.....I don't understand all this, and I am not saying this to make it seem that my preferences are right and others wrong....that is not what I am saying. I am just saying that I, we, should never let anything distract us when we are "with the body of believers" to keep us from the object of our being there....to corporately worship, corporately pray, corporately seek the Lord.
When our hearts, when our spirits are seeking the Lord.....truly seeking the Lord, we must be so careful not to let what differences in our worship preferences, our dress preferences, any of our personal preferences to interfere or take our minds off of the importance of joining together in church. Keep our hearts, keep our minds on the Lord. Ignore what is around you in worldly form and concentrate on the spirits that are reaching out to the Lord.....that is what the Lord was showing me. It is the spirits of those around me that is important, not what they look like.......it is the spirit of the music.....the words being sung......praises to the Lord, our God......that is what is important.
Now that I believe I have put down all the Lord wants me to.....I looked back up at the scripture He gave me.....bitterness.....like unrest so easily can spring up within you when differences.....sights and sounds.....abound. Keeping my eyes on Him, dear friends, keeping your eyes on Him....our only sure way to keep our hearts pure, our spirits undefiled....the only way.
Thank You, Lord, for Your words to me........I know You, with loving grace, have forgiven me for what wanted to rise up in me......You touched me with Your immediate word, as I have asked You to do.....and took me eyes off the world and drew them back to You, where I always want them to be. I love You so much. Thank You, Lord.
patspennings
07-14-13
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