Saturday, November 17, 2012

THANKSGIVING OF THE HEART

Psalm 30:12  "To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent.  O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever."

I was looking for a Thanksgiving prayer that I had given at a ladies meeting a number of years ago and not finding it on my computer, I pulled out a thumb drive on which I had saved a number of things from my old computer. Well, it wasn't there either, but I saw a document called "My Testimony" and decided to see what it was.  It was my testimony that I had given at church, I guess it must have been about 5 or 6 years ago.  To tell the truth, it was probably not a good idea that I read it..... I don't know how good it is to go back in time, especially when the Lord has brought me so far, but I read it anyway. 

As I read about my failures, disappointments, heart break, and then rejoiced again at the miracles the Lord had done in my past.....as I finished reading it and remembered what I had gone to the flash drive to find, the old Thanksgiving prayer.  It seems foolish now, looking for an old prayer, even thought it was so beautiful and fit with the day coming up, thanking the Lord for family and friends, for His blessings and grace; it still falls short of what is in my heart.

When I look inside my heart now, as I let myself look at what the Lord has done in my life, how could I ever think that something someone else had written could truly express my heart, my heart today.  All the things I read in "my testimony", those times I remember having my heart freeze up to everything, become stone, in reality the flesh just hanging on by a thread of what you might consider... call it hope, maybe even desperation for something to fill my heart, to ease the pain.  So many years, it seems like it took so many years for me to realize that that hope I was desperately looking for, was there all along. 

My heart, my heart is so filled with love for my Lord.  What was once a stone has become a fountain that flows with love, it is filled by the River of Life from the throne of my Lord, never running shallow, never running dry, but is constantly restored with His love, with His Words of encouragement and clarity....the Holy Spirit never failing to show me the way I should go, never ceasing to remind me that I am exactly who the Lord designed me to be, that there is nothing I can not do in Him, for He strengthens me daily, He restores my soul....to His glory.  He restores me so that my life can glorify Him alone.

My Thanksgiving prayer has more words than space would ever allow, but can be condensed in these precious words, these words that will spill out of my heart, out of my spirit and through my praise, in my constant worship to my God, my Lord and King.....

I love You, I love You, I love You, my Lord.  I love You, I love You, I love You, my Lord.  I thank You, I thank You, I thank You, my Lord.  I thank You, I thank You, I thank You, my Lord.

11-17-12

Sunday, November 4, 2012

LET IT BE ME

Mark 10:37  "They replied, "Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory."

As the disciples argued over who was to be the most important, the ones that should be on the right and the left, sitting with Jesus in His glory, I feel it must have saddened my Lord greatly, His knowing that their desire, although being heartfelt, was not truly understood.  Even, the mother of James and John, she came to Jesus asking for favor for her sons.  He asked of them "Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?" (Matthew 20:22)  He knew that they had no knowledge of what was to come, and He also knew that in their human form, their fear would betray them.

I was left wondering about this myself.  I love the Lord so much.  I desire to be with Him.  What I would have given, I think so often, to have walked with the crowds of people, along those dirt roads with Him.  To have seen the miracles, to have heard His Words, the lessons He taught; to have seen those eyes of love looking into mine.....  How would I have felt listening to the disciples arguing foolishly among themselves to be the ones He would choose to be near him......would my mind, would my heart have wanted that place for myself?  Would you have desired that place also?

After the question was asked, the desire made known, the air must have been so still.  I can imagine the birds even stopped their singing to listen to what the Lord would say, how would he answer them?  As the Lord spoke again, he assured them that they would indeed drink of His cup....but the places next to Him were not His to grant, but the Father, who had already prepared this for His chosen.  Drink of His cup.....the disciples certainly did, in time, do just this.  And yes, my friends, those of us that choose to follow our Lord, to serve others as He served, to speak His truth to all, and to show His love without fail....we will all drink of His cup. 

We are to serve others, put ourselves last, not first, fearlessly speak of truth as God leads us, show His love, His compassion, His forgiveness to all.....keeping nothing of Him for ourselves, but to give freely of His love to all.....we can never run out of the things of the Lord, as we give out, He pours back into us.  True servants of the Lord must always be willing to sit in the back, to serve quietly but consistently with His love, His strength, His joy.

After thinking on all these things, knowing that drinking of His cup could bring condemnation, hatred and scorn from the world, criticism, bitterness, persecution.....and yes, even death....this cup, this very cup that gave us all life, could one day, determine our death also.....

.......would you still be clamouring to be first, pushing ahead crying out "let it be me...", would you still desire this place......will you?......will I?.......Selah.

Let us pray that we will all walk the walk that we talk; only with the strength, the power, the Spirit of the Lord will this be possible.  Let me take the place You have designed for me, my God, and let me do Your will, only Your will.  Let me be the servant You desire of me to be, let me live my life for You, for You alone.  More of You, my King, so much less of me.

11-04-12

Saturday, November 3, 2012

LOVE LIFTED ME

John 19:26 "When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved, standing nearby, he said to his mother, "Dear woman, here is your son".

When Jesus looked out, through eyes that were clouded with his sweat, his blood and his tears (yes, I have no doubt there were tears, as hurt, betrayal, pain filled his being), He saw his mother, and other loved ones there.....but only one disciple, John.  Young John whose love for His Savior, His Master, His Teacher was greater than any fear of those that might want to harm him also.  He was there, he was there to watch as life was taken from the One who had lifted him from the ordinary man he was to a man that knew what beloved truly meant.

All the other disciples fled, hid in fear of man.  When the bad grew worse, they grew distant, love was overcome by fear of man.  Fear of man truly can grip one in ways we never dream until we are faced with that undenying situation, will we stand, or will we let fear overcome our love for the Lord.

Can you not imagine the torment that plagued the disciples as they were hiding in fear?  As they could not overcome the fear that drove them away from where Jesus hung.....do you feel that disappointment they felt in themselves, that guilt, that shame?  You may think of yourselves as the stronger type, you would not flee, you would stand tall....but look back, has that always been the case?  Have you always stood up for Jesus, for His Word.....at work, at play, at life....  Now when one word, one stance, one head held high can mean so much to yourself, your family, your country.... do you stand tall, not fearing what men might say, what they might think...is fear overtaking the love of the Lord, for what He has taught us in His Word, for the values He has placed on life....on love your neighbor as yourself......on love the Lord with all your heart, with all your soul, with your life....

Wow.....this is so turning into a different place, Father, than when You began to give this to me...I thought I would be speaking of rejecting fear because of our love for our Lord, and as I see it is that, it is also much more.  It is loving who we are in You, who You have made us to be.  To stand in the shadow of the Cross, to stand there and not hid the fact that we are followers of Jesus, that He is our Beloved Lord, to do what the Word teaches us, to stand for the values, for the basic values of life that Your Word instills into each one of us.  Freedom to be who we are in You; protecting the gift of life You gave to us, forsaking all to be counted in You.

Love lifted me from the pits of despair, from the place where the enemy held me captive in sin.  Love showed me the way to redemption, to salvation, to freedom.  The love of the Lord, my God, has shone down on the path of life given me, guiding me, teaching me all along the way to be secure in that love, to fear not; but to follow Him in all things.  Love....the sweet love of my Lord.

I realize this seems to go in many directions, and as it concerns me a bit, the Lord says that those who truly love Him will be able to follow it's meaning without confusion, and for those that are confused, they were not meant to understand.  The hidden meanings that become clear for those that truly seek the Lord, the open love for all that will accept it.

My Lord, my Life, how I love You, how I thank You for the very breath You have given me, the ability to hear Your voice and the love that lifts me closer and closer to You each moment.

11-03-12